The f*******n Bond

Chapter 1

Chapter One

“Could somebody please pinch me? Or better yet, just hit me in the face with a two-by-four and make sure this isn’t just a bad dream.” ~Alice

The next few days were a blur of sleep and wakefulness. Cain barely left her side. He cared for her gently, changing her bandages and ensuring she ate. It was as if the Cain she’d met that very first day she’d arrived—the vampire king—had been replaced with someone else entirely. At night he held her close, keeping vigil and guarding her as she slept. And she let him. Alice craved his presence. In his arms, the horrors of Claude’s attack faded away. And that was disturbing because the sharp teeth that Claude had used to pierce her skin were strikingly similar to the one’s in Cain’s mouth. But when Cain touched her, it was with care, not malice. When he came near to her face it was to check that the wound was healing, not to tear her throat.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked one evening when she finally felt like speaking. Her voice was hoarse from lack of use.

“Doing what?” Cain set a half-full cup of water on the bedside table.

“Feeding me, tending to my wound, pulling up my covers.” She pointed to his hands which now held the end of the blanket. “Why are you taking care of me?” Alice didn’t understand this Cain. This Cain wasn’t a vampire; he was a man offering help to a woman he seemed to care for.

Cain sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed stray strands of hair away from her face. “I’m doing this because I want to. It’s as simple as that.” His voice was rough with emotion. “I want to protect you from the ugliness of my world.” He shook his head and dropped his eyes as his jaw clenched. “I failed to do that when Claude attacked you. I will never fail again.” He raised his gaze back to hers. “I’m truly sorry for what you endured, Alice.”

The sincerity in his tone was so thick it was almost tangible. Alice felt emotion welling up inside of her. How long had it been since someone had taken time to care for her?

“I have no hidden agenda,” he told her. “In my long, long life, nothing has ever felt as right as you do. Here. With me.”

Alice had no idea how to respond. She was confused and traumatized from the attack. She didn’t know if she should even trust her mind or her instincts.

“Just let me take care of you,” he said earnestly. “Let me keep you safe.”

Alice simply nodded because it had been a long time since anyone had cared enough about her to even wonder if she was safe.

When she was finally strong enough to take in a small amount of nourishment, her body’s needs came back full force. To her utter embarrassment, Cain even had to help her to the bathroom. So long, dignity.

Alice gripped the edges of the sink, unable to tear her gaze from the stranger staring back at her from the mirror. In the harsh bathroom light, she saw the sunken eyes ringed with shadows, the pallid skin, and the hideous wound marring her neck. It was as if all her previous vibrancy, her very life force, had been sucked out of her in an instant. She supposed, in a way, that’s exactly what had happened. When Claude sank his fangs into her flesh, he hadn’t just taken her blood. He’d taken something much deeper and more vital. Her spirit. Her humanity. Yet Alice didn’t crave blood, at least not yet. Cain assured her she was still human, but that she was also becoming “more.”

“Jeez.” She blew out a breath. Her mind was on repeat, a broken record stuck on the same word: more. Alice had just found out she was some kind of special supernatural healer. Now, she’d been given vampire blood. Did that mean she was going to eventually be a … hybrid-healer-vampire? So that would make her… What? A hampire, a vamhealer? A blood-craving monster that lived only to feed on others while at the same time healing their wounds as she created them? Alice shuddered, squeezing her eyes shut against the swirling darkness of her thoughts. “Quit being dramatic, Alice,” she muttered to herself as she turned on the water and splashed the cold liquid on her face.

She grabbed a towel and patted her skin dry with a groan. Alice smoothed her hair down over the mark, attempting to hide it from view. What Cain said might be true—she was still herself. But there was something different, something other, inside her. She just couldn’t put her finger on what.

A light knock sounded on the door. “Alice? Are you all right?” Cain’s voice carried through the barrier, and she could hear worry in his tone.

“I’m fine. Just give me a few more minutes.” Or a decade might be better. She had a feeling these were not the types of emotions that were worked through quickly. How did one go back to a normal life after everything she’d learned and experienced? Was it even possible? Did she really want to? Alice shook her head and took a deep breath before blowing it out slowly. Turning away from the mirror, from the ghostly waif reflected there, Alice made herself focus on the simple act of bathing. She scrubbed at her skin as if she could shed this wrongness along with the grime. It was no use. When she finally emerged wrapped in a towel, the desolation clinging to her spirit remained.

Cain’s eyes were heavy with understanding. Wordlessly, he folded her into his embrace, enveloping her in his strength. She sagged against him, soaking up that solid warmth, grateful he didn’t force her to speak when words had deserted her. Alice was tired of being strong on her own. She’d been alone for far too long. Her father was an a*s who only thought of himself. Her mother hadn’t been able to stomach being married to an a*s, and she hadn’t bothered to take her daughter with her into her new life.

In Cain’s arms, Alice could almost forget the gaping sense of loss inside—the feeling that some vital piece had been cleaved away, stolen by Claude’s vicious attack. Here there was only calm, only the reassurance of Cain’s presence. Not to mention, being with him took her mind off the strange sensations that were beginning to wage a battle inside her body.

As his hold tightened, she knew she couldn’t stay cocooned here forever. There were still problems to be faced. But for a moment, she let the rest of the world fade away as she found solace in his embrace.

“If I could take away your pain, I would in a heartbeat,” he said softly. “I would undo everything that happened.” He paused, and she could feel there was more he wanted to say so she waited. “I’m worried you will fear me simply because I’m a vampire, like Claude. The idea of you being afraid of me is abhorrent.”

Alice pulled back so she could look at his face. She traced the contours with a finger, the high cheek bones and strong jaw. When she got to his lips he closed them, as if hiding his fangs from her. “Show me. Please.”

Slowly, he parted his lips and let her see the sharp teeth. Feeling brave, or simply out of her mind, Alice pressed her thumb gently against one of the incisors. She pushed thoughts of Claude away and thought only of Cain and his treatment of her. Alice pulled her hand away and then looked him in the eyes. “I’m not afraid of you. And I don’t think I could say that to any other vampire.”

The week passed and Alice continued to heal physically, but emotionally she felt as fragile as a baby bird. And the feeling pissed her off. Timidity was not a character trait with which she was familiar. And yet she constantly looked over her shoulder, wondering if Claude was going to jump out and yell “Boo” at her.

“You can’t stay in this room forever, no matter how much I like seeing you in my bed,” Cain told her on Friday. Wait. Was it Friday? She shrugged because what did it really matter? “You won’t get stronger if you just lay in bed.”

“I don’t just lay in bed,” she said lifting her chin. “I walk to that chair.” She pointed to the piece of furniture. “And sit. Then I stand and walk to the bathroom and then back to the bed. See? I’m getting plenty of exercise.”

“Cute,” he said dryly. “But that’s not enough. Come join me in the lab. I miss having your sharp tongue to put Willis in his place.” His crooked grin teased her.

“You don’t need my help putting Willis in his place. All you must do is look at him sideways, and he scurries like a mouse.”

Cain walked over to the bed where she sat on the edge. He wrapped both hands around her biceps and pulled her to her feet as if she weighed nothing. Then he cupped her face and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re stronger than this,” he said firmly. “Don’t let Claude, or any vampire, make you a captive of your own fear.”

She took a deep breath as his words reverberated in her head. Alice had always prided herself on how strong she was. She valued her independence. Was she really going to let Claude take that from her? Finally, she nodded. “Okay.”

His broad smile was beautiful, as if she’d just handed him the most amazing gift. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and then took one of her hands, pulling her toward the closet. “Put on some real clothes. Those pajamas might disintegrate because you’ve worn them for so long.”

“They’re the softest ones.” Alice knew he was right. She’d not bothered to change for who knew how many days.

“When you’re done, give them to me so I can burn… err… I mean, wash them.”

“Ha. Ha,” she deadpanned. She closed the closet door in his face and then began the task of picking out something comfortable to wear.

As she ventured out of Cain’s room, reacquainting herself with the facility, people watched her with a curiosity that made her want to hiss at them like an irritated cat. Thankfully, most of the other workers at the facility gave her space, except for Willis. The other scientist had a death wish, or at least that’s what Alice had decided based on his continued annoying behavior.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked for the fifth time in thirty minutes. His constant questions were ceaseless. “Is your mouth dry? Does the idea of human food disgust you? Do your teeth feel sharper? Are you having any … urges?”

“Does the urge to shove a sock down your throat count?” Alice asked in a saccharine sweet voice.

Willis held up his hands. “No need to get all cranky on me. I’m just doing my job, Alice.”

She glared at him. “Believe me, Willis, if I get the urge to bite someone, you will be the first to know. And it won’t be because I’ve told you about it.”

“Back off, Willis,” Cain growled. “Can’t you see you’re overwhelming her?”

The scientist bobbed his head. “Yes, yes, of course. My apologies.” But his gaze still followed Alice closely. She half expected him to pull out a notebook and start taking notes.

As the days passed, she and Cain developed a routine. Alice found it oddly comforting. All the routines she’d ever had before in her life had been by herself.

She stepped out of the steam filled bathroom in the set of pajamas he’d threatened to burn–butthead–and Cain motioned her over. He sat on the large, overstuffed couch in the quaint sitting area. “Let me check your wound.” His voice was softer than it was when they were out around other people.

“It’s fine,” Alice told him, though she knew he would still demand to see it.

Sure enough, his eyes narrowed. “Let me look at you.”

A shiver ran down her spine at his words. Though she knew what Cain meant, the words held an intimacy that made her realize how much she’d come to trust him.

She walked over to him and took a seat. Cain pushed her damp hair away from her neck, revealing the skin that she knew was probably still flushed from the heat of her shower.

“It’s nearly completely healed,” he murmured as his fingers ran over the flesh.

“I told you.” The words came out breathlessly because at the same moment, Cain pressed his lips to the skin where the healing bite mark was located.

She sucked in a breath and bit the inside of her cheek. Cain had become increasingly more affectionate, and Alice hadn’t done anything to discourage his advances. He’d become her safe place. But even with him, there was still an undercurrent of some otherness flowing through her veins, something not quite human. She hoped it, too, like the bite mark would fade in time. But that wasn’t the only weird thing. Alice’s sense of reality was also off kilter, sometimes she felt like she was losing gaps of time, like she was somehow going through the motions in a dream, instead of living her completely messed up life.

One afternoon Cain found her standing at the window in his room, looking out at the stark beauty of the desert landscape. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. It was no longer weird to have him touch her so casually. In fact, she’d come to crave his touch and found herself holding her breath when he was near, waiting with anticipation for the feel of his skin against hers. She leaned back into him, taking comfort in his closeness. Part of her felt like she was betraying Lizzy and Finn. She hadn’t even brought herself to check on them other than to ask the guards about them. Alice couldn’t shake the feeling she was siding with the enemy. Yet when Cain looked at her as if the sun rose and set in her eyes, she couldn’t see him as her enemy. I must convince him to let the couple go. And then everyone else he had captured. Surely, I can talk some sense into him. They’ve come so far in their relationship, she’d been more open with Cain than she had been with anyone in her life.

“You’ve been quiet today,” he murmured against her hair. “Talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

She considered brushing it off, saying she was fine. But if she couldn’t be honest with him, who could she be honest with?

“I need to ask you some tough questions, and I’m worried how you will react,” she said, holding her breath as she waited.

“You can ask me anything, Alice,” Cain told her. “Don’t ever be afraid. Please.”

She blew out the breath and then turned in his arms so she could look at him. “It’s about Lizzy and Finn.” She waited to see if he would respond, but he simply stared back at her, his features holding interest. “I want you to let them go. Please. Lizzy is practically still a kid. And Finn just found her, his true mate. Think of how you want to protect me.” She took his hand and placed his palm against her cheek. “Consider how he must feel, unable to do anything to keep Lizzy safe.” Her voice broke as emotions for the couple welled up inside of her. Alice knew they had been building, but not to this extent.

He continued to stare at her, his face giving nothing away. “There’s more,” he said softly. “Get it all off your chest, and then I will address everything. Hopefully, I can relieve you of your worries.”

“I’m scared,” she finally admitted softly, dropping her head. The tremble in her voice made her want to punch something. Her emotions were all over the place.

Cain placed a finger under her chin and tilted it up. “Scared of what?”

“Of becoming something I don’t want to be. Of losing who I am.” She hesitated. “Of caring for you, of losing you. I’m scared of what will happen to Lizzy and Finn and all the other dormants in this place. I’m just—” She shook her head. “I’m a mess. And I hate it. I hate feeling unsure. And…”

“And what?”

“And I don’t want to like you or care for you. You’re a man.”

“Thank you for reminding me,” he said dryly. “I’d almost forgotten.”

“I haven’t had the best luck with men, and I don’t mean in just a romantic sense. You’ve met my father. He’s a grade A a*s,” she continued. “So, yeah, I’m worried that you’ll get bored and jump ship, and where will that leave me?” she didn’t give him time to answer, she was on a roll. “I’ll tell you.”

“By all means,” he said.

“It leaves me alone for however long I might live, which brings me to my next fear. If I’m a vampire, I will live for hundreds of years. I don’t want to start that life with a broken heart. And then there’s the whole blood sucking and sating some unquenchable hunger thing. That doesn’t sound appealing at all.

Tenderness filled Cain’s eyes, something she now knew he reserved only for her. “Have you had the urge for blood?” His voice was calm.

Alice shook her head. “No, but something is wrong with me. Something inside of me doesn’t feel like me. It’s like there’s just something else here.” She pressed her palm to her forehead. “Like I’m not alone inside. I don’t like it. I’ve always been alone. But at the same time, it’s so good to not be alone anymore.”

Cain cupped her face in his hands, his grey eyes boring into hers. “First, I won’t let any harm come to Finn or Lizzy. For you, and you alone, I can make that promise. I can make that promise, Alice, because I love you. Those are words I never thought I’d say to anyone, but then you came along and turned my world upside down.”

Alice’s eyes widened as she stared at him. “You love me?” she stuttered out. Super smooth. “But how? I mean… I’m–”

He placed his finger over her lips and shook his head. “I don’t need you to say it back. Not until you can say it without a wavering voice. Understand?”

She nodded because words still eluded her.

“As for the dormants,” Cain continued, dropping his finger from her lips, “I can’t give them up. I’m too close to having what all vampires crave, but not all have: the ability to walk in the daylight, to step out of the shadows where we’ve been forced to live. I need you to trust me. We’ll figure this out together.”

He sounded so sure, and she wanted desperately to believe him. He’d said that he loved her. If he loved her, then she should be able to trust him. That was one of the foundations of love. Alice’s heart swelled in her chest as she felt emotions flooding her. Some she couldn’t put a name to and others she wasn’t ready to voice. So instead of speaking, she stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. It wasn’t the first time they’d kissed, but it was the first time she had initiated it. Cain responded immediately, pulling her close, kissing her back with fervor. In the shelter of his embrace, her doubts faded away.

But the reprieve couldn’t last forever. Two days later, a meeting was called. By whom, Alice didn't know. But in attendance were Cain, the military leaders, and all the government officials involved in this little scheme, which wasn’t so little at all. Alice didn’t want to be there because she knew her father would be present. She had absolutely no desire to see the man who so often made her life a living hell. It was his fault she was even in her current situation. She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d noticed that something was different about her. Did she want him knowing that she was with Cain? Am I with Cain?

“Damn, I need a vacation,” Alice muttered under her breath as she followed the vampire in question.

“Don’t we all,” Cain said softly, only for her ears. “But the time for decisions has arrived, which means any vacations will have to wait.” He leaned down then, his mouth right next to her ear. “I’m sure we can find some time after the meeting to have a reprieve from all the business. Perhaps a massage for my lady?”

Alice forced herself not to react to his words, even though she was now thinking of the times they’d laid in the dark and he’d tended to her weak muscles. At the end of the day, they were always burning in pain, as if she’d done an intense workout instead of simply walking from one place to another. Cain gave good massages. Rustling and voices pulled her from her thoughts and back to the present.

They gathered in a conference room around a large metal table. Alice held herself ramrod straight in her chair, hands resting on the table. She placed them in her lap when she noticed them trembling. She heard her father’s voice, and her stomach twisted unpleasantly. Colonel Mark Douglas had a distinctive, deep baritone voice, and he was also almost always berating or otherwise giving his very disapproving opinion to some poor soul when he was speaking.

Another man, disheveled and obviously in a hurry, came scurrying in with a stack of papers before her father made an appearance.

“Sorry I’m late.” He took the only empty chair.

Cain gave a slight nod of his head. “Just glad you could make it, Sam.” Cain looked at the others in the room. “Sam is our legal representative to you, the American government.”

Rumblings of disapproval echoed around the room. Alice tensed as her father strode into the conference room, his uniform crisp and posture board-straight as always. Colonel Douglas surveyed the room with a piercing gaze before his eyes landed on her. Alice lifted her chin and resisted the urge to shrink under that stare. She wished that she could reach and hold Cain’s hand, like an anchor in a tumultuous ocean, he steadied her.

“Colonel Douglas,” Cain said coolly. “I wasn’t aware you were still … involved in this project.”

Project. Alice almost rolled her eyes. As if they were building bridges or developing new weapons instead of meddling with the very nature of life and death. Alice met her father’s gaze evenly.

“Why would my status change? I believe I have brought much to the table to help make this endeavor successful.” His eyes stayed on Alice, as if making the point that he’d brought her to the table.

“Perhaps you’ve brought all that was required of you.” Cain’s voice was whip sharp. “You gave us the very best scientist in the nation, if not the world. Do we really need to ask more of you?” The sarcasm was so thick in the vampire king’s voice it was a wonder anyone could still breathe.

The colonel’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t challenge Cain. He simply shrugged and finally looked away from Alice. “I’m here until my superiors say otherwise.” Taking his seat, he turned his gaze to Cain. “Let’s get down to business. The joint chiefs are eager to see results from our investment here.”

Cain leaned back in his chair casually, but Alice sensed his focus sharpening like a blade. “Eager though they may be, progress takes time, as I’m sure you understand, Colonel.”

“A reasonable amount of time,” Mark Douglas bit out. “The Defense Department provided significant funding for this facility. There’s increasing pressure to show a return on that investment.”

Another man at the table, Admiral Prescott, leaned in. He furrowed his dark brows. “Specifically, we need to know if you’ve successfully created any of these … hybrid soldiers you promised.”

All eyes shifted to Cain, awaiting his response. Alice’s stomach knotted. They couldn’t reveal Lizzy. She wouldn’t turn her friend over to the government, her father more precisely, to be treated like an asset and nothing more.

Cain met her pleading gaze briefly before addressing the room. “We’ve made strides, but successfully generating viable hybrid subjects takes great care.”

The military men exchanged disgruntled looks. General Brock’s assistant, Francis, piped up. “We need more than vague progress reports. Do you actually have functional hybrid prototypes or not?”

Alice saw her father’s shrewd gaze flick to her again. Sweat beaded along her spine. Cain spread his hands diplomatically. “As I said, this scientific process is extremely complex, with many variables at play. We must proceed with diligence to ensure stable outcomes.”

Colonel Douglas scowled. “Cut the bullshit, Cain. If you have a successful hybrid specimen, I expect you to disclose it now.”

Alice’s breath stopped in her throat. The room seemed to tilt around her. Then Cain was speaking again, smooth as silk.

“You have my word that I will inform you immediately when we achieve substantive results. At this stage, all I can report is steady progress toward that end goal.”

The colonel still looked suspicious, but Cain remained unruffled, the picture of reason. After a taut moment, Mark Douglas gave a curt nod. “Very well. But my superiors will want hard evidence soon. This project is nearing a critical juncture.”

“Of course.” Cain’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “We all want the same outcome here.”

Alice slowly released a shaky breath. Crisis averted, for now. But the scrutiny would only increase. They were running out of time.

The rest of the meeting passed in a tense discussion of budgets, timetables, and contingencies. Alice kept her eyes down and her mouth shut. She could feel her father’s gaze boring into her periodically, as if trying to see into her mind and root out the truth.

At last, the officials seemed satisfied … or at least placated. As they filed out, her father paused beside her chair.

“I expect to hear from you very soon.” His tone brooked no argument.

Alice’s guts twisted, but she nodded. “Yes, sir.”

Once the room cleared, she practically collapsed into Cain’s waiting arms. “That was too close.”

Cain stroked her hair soothingly. “I’m going to have to make another hybrid. I told you I’d keep Lizzy safe, and I will keep my word. But they won’t stay off my back for much longer.”

She peered up at him in dismay. “You mean I’m going to have to make another hybrid? It takes my blood.”

His jaw ticked. “Yes. Making successful hybrids is how we keep Lizzy safe. And I need your blood for that. And soon you’ll need to make a choice.”

Alice pulled back, eyes widening. “A choice? Between what?”

Cain cupped her cheek gently. “Between revealing what you are to your father, which will allow you to stay here, or returning to your human life.”

Leaving? Her father? Then the truth dawned on her. When Colonel Douglas found out what she was–a gypsy healer, a supernatural being–he’d want to run experiments on her. He’d want to know how she could be of service to the government’s cause.

And Cain was giving her the opportunity to return to her human life? Was that even still an option? The idea sank like a stone in Alice’s gut. She realized this place had become her home, and Cain had become … everything. Could she really just abandon it all?

Cain seemed to read the turmoil in her eyes. He drew her close again, lips brushing her hair. “There’s time yet to decide. Whatever comes, we’ll face it together.”

Some of Alice’s anxiety eased. No matter what happened, she wouldn’t be alone. She had Cain, Lizzy, and Finn. And for now, that was enough.

Over the next few days, Alice wrestled constantly with the choice looming before her. On this particular day, as she roamed the corridors aimlessly, she realized it was time to talk to Lizzy. She could put it off no longer.

Two guards stood on either side of the door to the hybrid female’s room. Alice ignored them and knocked.

“You don’t have to knock.” Lizzy’s voice carried through the barrier. “Do you think this is a five-star hotel and I’m some kind of guest that can choose when and to whom I open my door? I’m locked inside this hellhole. I’m not exactly locking people out.”

One guard snorted a laugh but quickly smoothed his features.

Alice pushed the door open, then closed it behind her. Lizzy was lying on her stomach on the bed. When she saw Alice, she jumped up and hurried to her. “Holy hell, woman.” Lizzy wrapped her in a tight hug. “Are you okay? Cain wouldn’t tell us crap because he’s an a*s, and I’ve been worried about you. That doesn’t mean I’m not pissed as hell at you because you helped make me a hybrid. But chick solidarity has to be elevated above ‘you made a d**k move by turning me into a hybrid -wolf-vampire.’ You know what I mean?” She said all of this while still continuing to hug Alice. “And besides Finn, you’re my only friend in this Frankenstein existence, so naturally I was worried sick that Claude had killed you, or maybe bloodlust got the best of Cain and he accidentally offed you, which totally would have sucked because you’re growing on me … like a fungus.”

“Good grief, Lizzy.” Alice chuckled. “You’re going to pass out if you don’t stop talking long enough to take a breath.”

Lizzy released her and stepped back. She gave Alice a quick once over, her eyes landing on the spot on her neck that was nearly healed. “So, you’re not dead. But are you undead?” Lizzy narrowed her eyes.

Alice made a motion to a chair. “Can we sit for this talk?”

Lizzy’s eyes widened. “There’s a talk? Not just an answer? ‘Yep, I’m a vampire-gypsy-healer’ or ‘Nope, that s**t failed. Thank goodness’.”

Alice walked over to the chair and took a seat. “There’s a talk. If I’ve learned anything in my time here, it’s that there are no simple answers in Area 51.”

Lizzy took the other seat and curled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them as she rested her chin on her knee. “Okay. This is obviously something that’s stressing you out on a whole new level because you’re usually as cool as a cucumber. And the chick I see before me isn’t as cool as a cucumber, carrot, tomato, eggplant, spinach, or any other vegetable you might keep in the refrigerator. So, take a breath and then just let it out.”

Alice chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to formulate the words. She’d already gone over how this conversation would go in her head a million times, but now that she was in Lizzy’s presence, everything she’d rehearsed had disappeared from her mind. Alice had thought she would just rip the bandage off as quickly as possible. Now, she was hesitating. Suck it up, buttercup. “Okay, here goes nothing,” she whispered, and then looked at Lizzy. “To start, I’m not drinking blood … yet. I mean, I’m not craving it or anything. But there’s something definitely different about me. I can feel it inside.” Alice pressed a hand just below her collarbone. “It does feel like I’m … changing, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Whether that means I’m going to wake up one day as a blood-sucking monster, I have no idea.”

Alice paused, and Lizzy simply stared at her. Finally, the scientist spoke again. “But that’s not the scariest thing.”

Lizzy frowned. “Potentially waking up as a blood-sucking monster is not the scariest thing? What could possibly be scarier than that?”

Alice fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, her gaze bouncing from Lizzy’s, down, and back up again. “I’ve changed in other ways, and…” She trailed off for a moment, then took a deep, steadying breath. “I don’t want you to hate me or feel betrayed.”

“Well, those are excellent things to avoid in friendship. I certainly don’t want to hate you or feel betrayed. Granted, I sort of already felt betrayed when you put Cain’s blood in my body and yours, too. But I’m growing as a person. I’ve had a lot of time to work on myself in this room.” Lizzy’s tone was dry and sarcastic.

Alice blew out a breath, and then finally blurted out, “I have feelings for Cain. Feeling feelings. And he has them for me. He told me he loves me and maybe I shouldn’t trust him because damn that was fast. But then I think why not? Is there really a time limit on when someone falls in love with a person. But then I think, can I trust him? He’s a man. All the men I’ve known have mostly sucked.”

“And this one literally sucks,” Lizzy muttered, but Alice was on a roll.

“And I’d sworn them off. But at the same time, I’ve been alone, in one way or another, my whole life. And he makes me not alone. No.” She shook her head. “Not just not alone. He makes me feel valued, precious, and seen. These past weeks, he’s taken care of me like no one has ever done in my life. Not my mother and definitely not my father. I mean”—she held up a hand—“I know what he is. But I don’t know how to stop what’s happening between us. And I don’t even think I want to.” She shifted in her seat, leaning forward a bit. Lizzy stared back at her, but Alice couldn’t get a read on what the girl was thinking, so she just plowed on. “It’s like I know what he is, and what he’s capable of, but then with me, he’s so different. He’s kind and considerate, and he’s been taking care of me this whole time. In the back of my head I’m screaming at myself, ‘What the hell, Alice?’ You know? And then there’s you, and all I could think was that I was betraying you, and now you’ll hate me, and I’ll only have Cain, and what if Cain does something like my mother did and just leaves me high and dry? Then I have no one? And all I wanted to do was make some amazing scientific discovery and get my name in the scientific hall of fame, and⁠—”

“Wait, is that actually a thing?”

Alice huffed out a laugh. “No, but is that the only thing you heard?”

Lizzy lifted a shoulder. “It’s the thing I felt I could respond to without giving too much brainpower to it.”

“Fair, enough. I’m sorry, Lizzy.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?” Lizzy dropped her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. “We don’t get to pick who our hearts choose. I mean, yes, there are some emotions that we absolutely choose to feel, but the beginning sparks of love…” She shook her head. “Those are totally out of our hands. It’s when things get hard that love becomes a choice.” She bobbed her head from side to side a couple of times. “I mean, do I get it? No. He is good looking, but he’s also a villain. He’s selfish and narcissistic and has all the red flags of ‘I’m going to tear your heart out and laugh while I do it’ warnings. And yes, I mean that literally and figuratively. But I don’t hate you.” Lizzy held Alice’s gaze as she continued. “I don’t have a lot of friends. In fact, I’ve only ever had one and I lost her. You can’t trust people when you live on the streets. You were real with me. I realize that took courage, but you told me the truth, and that goes a long way with me.”

Alice wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. When had she started crying? Her emotions were all over the place. “Thank you,” she finally managed to squeeze out of her tightened throat. “It feels so good to tell you and know that we’ll be okay?” It came out as a question.

“Girl, we won’t be okay until we get the hell out of dodge.” Lizzy smirked. “Our friendship, blossoming as it is, will be fine. It’s been forged in fire, and short of you feeding me to Cain, I think I can talk you out of whatever hold he has on you.”

The problem was, Alice didn’t want to be talked out of it. And that was the crux of it all. How low was she willing to sink simply to not feel alone anymore? Was love enough to pardon Cain?

Lizzy held up a hand. “Change of subject … sort of.” She waved her palms up and down like a scale. “It’s still about you and what’s happened to you, but we’ll just ignore the Cain portion of the show for the moment. How are you outside of the vampire king soap opera?”

“I feel like I’m going to have to hide for the rest of my life. If my father finds out what has happened to me, he will not hesitate to take me into government control and treat me like a lab rat.” Her breath shuddered as she shook her head. “I don’t want to spend my life hiding who I am. BUT, do I really know who I am or what I am anymore?” Alice raked a hand through her hair in frustration. “Is there any option that doesn’t end in disaster?”

Lizzy blew out a breath, her amber eyes thoughtful. “Have you considered that maybe you’re exactly what you were before? A gypsy healer. You’re not drinking blood. You aren’t craving it. So, I don’t see how that classifies you as a vampire.”

“Then why do I feel like something is off?” The fear in Alice’s voice frazzled her nerves. She hated being afraid, being anything less than entirely sure of who she was and what she was doing. Alice had always been so sure of herself. And now she didn’t even know who she was anymore. All because of Claude.