Elena
I didn’t even move at first.
I just sat there on the bed, sticky and confused and still breathing like I’d just been chased through the woods.
My thighs were glued together. My fingers were shiny. My heartbeat was doing this weird thing where it kept skipping, like it couldn’t believe what just happened. Like I couldn’t believe what just happened.
Because I had a dream.
No. I had that kind of dream. The filthy, X-rated, soak-the-sheets-and-ruin-your-soul kind of dream. The kind that makes you wake up with your hand between your legs, dripping, pulsing, shaking. The kind that makes you want to scream and crawl into a hole and cry at the same time because it felt so real.
Lucian was in it.
Of course he was.
Lucian with the hands. The growl. The f*****g stare that makes me clench even when I’m mad at him. He didn’t even touch me in the dream. He just stood there. Watching. Talking. And it was the dirtiest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
And now here I was.
In real life.
Sitting on a damp bed, hoodie around my waist, panties ruined, chest rising and falling like I’m seconds away from spontaneously combusting—because I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said.
“If it’s a dream… open your mouth and taste what I’m about to f*****g do to you.”
My face burned.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to die.
I wanted to touch myself again.
But then—
I looked at the door.
And I swear, everything in my stomach just dropped.
Because the lock?
The stupid, silver, totally supposed-to-be-turned latch?
It wasn’t locked.
“Oh my f*****g God—”
I jumped out of bed like it bit me. I ran over and touched the door like maybe I was wrong. Like maybe I’d misread it. Like maybe the Goddess would do me a solid and tell me I was still dreaming.
But no.
The door was unlocked.
Which means it could’ve opened.
Which means someone could’ve heard me.
Which means..
HE COULD HAVE SEEN ME.
“Oh my GOD, oh my GOD, I’m gonna throw up—no wait—I’m gonna cry—wait no—I’m gonna kill myself.”
I paced. I spiraled. I grabbed my hair and started whispering every curse word I knew. My panties were still wet. My p***y was still pulsing. My brain was a chaotic soup of shame and need and Lucian Lucian Lucian and I was about to completely lose my mind..
And then I heard it.
A voice.
In my head.
“That wasn’t a dream, little girl.”
I froze.
Like fully froze.
“Who the fuck..who the f**k just said that?”
I looked around. No one was there. I opened the closet. Checked under the bed. Nothing. Empty. Still alone.
“Okay. Okay. So now I’m insane. I’ve officially lost it. My brain just snapped. I came so hard in my sleep that I unlocked my third eye.”
“You’re not crazy.”
“You’re just finally awake. Took you long enough, princess.”
I covered my mouth.
“Oh my God.”
“Don’t act surprised. I’ve been here your whole damn life. You’re just dramatic.”
“I’m your wolf, Elena.”
“I KNOW THAT.”
“Then stop screaming like this is a horror movie.”
“I haven’t even shifted yet!”
“You haven’t shifted, but you’ve been fantasizing about him since you got here. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel me every time your thighs clenched. Don’t tell me I wasn’t purring in your head when he said your name.”
I sat on the floor. Like literally just dropped to my knees because my legs were trembling.
“No. No, no, no. This is not happening. I just came so hard I’m hallucinating a whole separate personality.”
“Personality? b***h, I’m your backbone.”
“I’m not a hallucination. I’m your wolf. And I’ve been waiting for this moment for eighteen f*****g years.”
“You are so f*****g dramatic.”
“And yet you’re the one leaking through your damn panties.”
I stared at the wall, panting.
“You think it’s coincidence you’ve been wet every time he walks by?”
“You think it’s normal to dream of being watched while you touch yourself and moan his name?”
“You think that p***y’s gonna calm down when you’ve finally found the c**k it was made for?”
I screamed.
I didn’t even mean to.
“OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO RUDE.”
“You’ve known me for years. You act like I just crawled out of the void. This is me, baby. Raw, honest, and sick of pretending you’re not obsessed with that growly bastard.”
“You’re a wolf, baby. Not a nun. And your heat’s about to hit you like a train.”
“NOPE. NOPE. I’M BLOCKING YOU. GOODBYE.”
“You said that last time I called you out for fingering yourself in the shower.”
“You can’t block me.”
“Watch me.”
I stood. Wobbled. Turned back toward the bed.
And then—of course—the voice came back even filthier.
“Next time he watches… let him.”
“Next time he growls… tell him to get on his knees.”
“Next time you c*m… do it on his face.”
I collapsed face-first into the pillow.
Screamed into it.
“I hate you.”
“You love him.”
I lay there, face buried in the pillow, my wolf quiet for a second—probably proud of herself for being the most unhelpful voice in my brain—and then I whispered something so quietly it made my own chest clench.
“I love him?”
Silence.
My voice got louder.
“No. No. No. What the f**k do you mean love? I just got here. I barely know where the dining hall is and you’re telling me I’m in love with the guy on the first day and made eye contact with me like he wanted to chew my clothes off?”
Still nothing.
“You’ve always liked your men feral. Don’t act brand new.”
“I’m just a baby. I’m supposed to fall in love with iced coffee and oversized hoodies and a guy in my Biology lab who asks to borrow my pen, not…not Lucian freaking Blackthorne, okay?”
I sat up, wiping sweat off my chest, and started pacing like an unhinged person.
“He’s a senior. He’s older. He’s dangerous. He’s probably already slept with—like—three hundred girls. I mean, have you seen him? That face? That body? That stupid way he smirks like he knows everyone wants him? He’s the type that has a reputation. A folder. A group chat. A freaking fan club.”
I flailed my arms.
“I bet half this campus has seen him naked. And he probably doesn’t even remember their names. And you think I’m in love with him?”
“Why would he want to f**k me?”
I laughed.
“I’m not special. I’m the weird transfer who hasn’t shifted, doesn’t party, and spends her nights watching werewolf documentaries like a nerd instead of going to those blackout ragers at the forest line. I’m not the type he looks at twice.”
And then.
My wolf.
She chuckled.
Like a full, slow, smug purr in the back of my mind.
“But you love his cockiness.”
I stopped pacing.
My throat closed.
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I love hating it.”
“Which is why you dream about it.”
I covered my face with both hands and screamed into my palms.
“I swear to the Goddess, if you say one more thing, I’m going to throw my phone across the room and delete my entire existence.”
“You love that he’s rude. You love that he growls. You love the way he says your name like it’s already dripping off his tongue.”
I sat back on the bed.
Defeated.
Still wet.
Still clenching.
Still remembering the way he growled mine in the dream like he meant it.
“…I’m going to hell.”
“You’re going to his bed.”
I gasped.
“You’re evil.”
“I’m you.”
And I, of course, being the emotionally stable and well-adjusted young woman that I am, said:
“f**k you.”
There was a pause.
“Well, you haven’t gotten laid yet, so someone had to step up and say it.”
I gasped.
“Oh my God.”
My jaw dropped.
“That was a LOW BLOW.”
“Was it? Or was it the throbbing truth?”
“b***h—!”
I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I was too busy clutching the pillow and dying.
Because she wasn’t wrong.
She was rude. And evil. And totally inappropriate. But not wrong.
I hadn’t gotten laid. Not even close. I hadn’t even kissed anyone since that one awkward guy in high school who tasted like battery acid and asked if I wanted to ‘do werewolf stuff’ afterward. No thanks.
And now?
Now I was having filthy dreams about Lucian licking my fingers clean and whispering things that made my toes curl, and my own subconscious…or soul-spirit-demon-animal-side or whatever…was calling me out for being a virgin with daddy issues and a helpless attraction to cocky assholes.
I flopped back onto the bed like I’d been slapped.
“You’re evil.”
“I’m honest.”
“You’re savage.”
“You’re soaked.”
I screamed into the pillow.
Again.
“You have class in ten minutes.”
I groaned.
Rolled over.
Ignored her.
“Unless you wanna sit here and maybe f**k a dildo and cry about it after, I suggest you get your ass up and go practice your wolf skills before someone calls you a weak little pup in front of your mate.”
My mouth dropped open.
“OH MY f*****g GOD.”
I sat up.
“You’re disgusting.”
“You’re late.”
“You’re unreal.”
“You’re damp.”
I screamed into my sleeve.
“Can you PLEASE stop talking about my v****a?!”
“Can you stop using it like it’s a toy store?”
I gasped.
“OH..my.,GOD.”
I threw the pillow at the wall.
“SHUT UP.”
“Class is in 8 mins now. I suggest you splash some water on your cursed little cunt and go pretend to focus on combat drills.”
I didn’t move.
She sighed.
“Fine. Sit here. Daydream.
My eye twitched.
“I hate you.”
“You need me.”
I stood.
“First of all, you need a bath. You smell like s*x and shame and day-old desperation. I’m gagging.”
I blinked.
“Oh just shut the f**k up.”
“You shut the f**k up. I’m the one stuck inside you, and you smell like you marinated in d**k juice overnight. Take a f*****g shower before someone reports you to campus security for being a biohazard.”
I opened the drawer and threw a towel at the wall just for the emotional satisfaction of it.
“That’s right. Throw things. Real mature. That’s exactly what’ll help the scent of your cooked p***y disappear.”
“I hate you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll bathe. I’ll scrub every damn inch. But if you make one more comment about my v****a, I swear I’ll shove a bar of soap so far up my—”
“Go ahead. Maybe then he won’t smell you from three dorms away.”
“b***h!”