ALEX
All I can do the moment Ms. Townsend leaves is go straight for my room and slam the door behind me.
How dare she.
Ava is our family. She can't just take her away from us. Not now. Not after everything we have been through. It can't end like this. Especially like this.
F!ck this.
Like the moron that I am, I choose to escape using my window and jet to the one place that I need to be right now, and that's sitting beside Ava's bed, holding her hand. She should be awake by now.
Why isn't she awake?
By the time I make it to the hospital, I stare up at it, bracing myself for what's to come, because I already know the answer. She'll leave and I'll be left torn apart. I trudge up to her room, open the door, and just look at her with her eyes closed and the machine beside her beeping at a steady pace. The utter silence, apart from the beeping of the machine, is nerve wracking. I slide a chair beside her and grip her hand in mine, slightly squeezing it. She seems so peaceful, so void of worry like this.
Maybe she is better off without us.
We'll just bring her bad memories.
I'll bring her bad memories.
I inch closer to her, raising her hand to kiss it. What I am about to say will gut me to pieces but eventually, I'll learn to sew myself back together. All I know is that not one other living soul on this planet will ever make me feel the way I do about her. I take a deep breathe in and then release it.
"I hope you can somehow hear me, because I don't think I can find it in myself to unleash my heart again. This shouldn't have happened like this. We were supposed to protect you and we failed. You shouldn't have gone there alone and I know it's my fault. If I hadn't been an asshole and did what I did, we would have all been together that night. We would have checked on your sister together and went together as a unit. I hope that bast!rd is paying his price in hell right now for what he did to you, to us, to everyone involved. More than I hate him, I hate myself for cutting you out. I watched you the entire time, you know. I was always there in the shadows making sure you were okay. Even though you may think I had completely given up on us, I never stopped loving you. I never stopped caring. It doesn't excuse the hurt I caused you and I will never forgive myself for it. You need to listen to your mom and go with her and your sister. You need to be shown what it is to be happy, to feel the love from a parent, a family. Alex, Ryder and myself will always consider you one of our own, but, we can't stand by and decide for you to stay with us when it would be more beneficial for you to go. We will love you always. Always, baby." A lone tear finds its way down my cheek and I quickly swipe it away. I move the chair back and stand, heading straight for the door to put distance between us, but before I can even open the door, I can hear a faint voice behind me.
"Ch..Christian?" She says so softly that my breath hitches. I don't even look back because once I do, I will rescind what I just said and never let her go.
"Goodbye, Ava." I say just above a whisper and flee from the room, grabbing my phone and calling Ryder. He immediately picks up and without hesitation I tell him that she's awake. I leave with no destination, a broken heart, and a sh!t ton of pain.
***************************************************
ALEX
Ryder and I rush to Ava's room, only to find her with the saddest look on her face. I rush to her side, pressing my forehead to her, gripping her face between my hands.
"What's wrong?" I ask softly, looking into her gorgeous eyes that are filled with tears.
"Is my mom taking me away from here?" She asks in such a tone that breaks my heart into pieces with every word.
"How'd... How'd you know about that?" I say, placing her hair behind her ears, Ryder shoving a tissue at me. He is just as torn as I am right about now, standing there not saying a word, but his facial expression says it all.
Losing her will cost of everything. Hearts, minds, souls.
"It was like I could hear him, his voice calling to me. The pull of it seemingly waking me but when I got up and called to him, he just left. He said goodbye." She sniffles and her eyes drop down and I grimace, a frown forming on my face.
F!cking pr!ck.
Why can't he just do things differently?
"He just wants the best for you and if it means your mother taking you away from all of this, then we won't stop her. You need this Ava. You need them far more than you need us." She brings her gaze back to mine and she just nods.
Ryder walks around the bed and slides himself behind her and allows her to lean on him, wrapping his arm around her. We sit in relative silence until Ava's mom and sister walk in, their faces vibrant once again knowing Ava's awake. Understanding they need this reunion more at this moment, I stand, followed by Ryder who is reluctant at first.
"Everything will be okay, you'll see." I say before placing a kiss on her head. Ryder repeats the action and winks at her, causing her to blush slightly. Ms. Townsend and Emma give us a smile as we walk out.
"So this is it then huh?" Ryder says and I can see the hurt shining through his eyes. He marches forward without waiting for a response from me and I don't stop him. We each need to deal with our feelings on our own for now because at the end of the day, we all know that we can count on one another to be there for each other.
*******************************************************
RYDER
I know I should have said more, but whatever words I wanted to say were caught in my throat. If I spoke, I know my voice would c***k and I'd break down. She can't see me breaking. She wouldn't go.
I know she wouldn't go.
She puts others feelings first before her own, and I don't want her feeling guilty for leaving. I return back to campus and head straight for the music room. Music has always been my source of helping me through my pain. I walk in and lock the door behind me, not needing to see or hear from anyone while I dwell in the sounds of notes from the piano keys that I so desperately need to hear right now. I begin tapping on the keys, pouring everything I feel into it, deciding upon a song I have recently heard.
Don't go tonight...
Stay here one more time....
Remind me what its like...
Oh...
And lets fall in love...
One more time...
I need you now...
By my side...
I slam the piano cover back down and run my hands through my scalp, throwing back the bench having it flip behind me onto the floor. I punch a hole into the wall and slide down it, throwing my head back onto the wall, closing my eyes and remembering the night in this room with her.
I don't think I can do this, any of this, without her.
I'm not sure how long I have been down here but I get up and put the piano bench back where it belongs and leave the room without looking back. This room is dead to me now. It no longer exists.
I take the stairs two at a time back to my room. I walk in and find Alex sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand. There are dark circles under his eyes and he doesn't need to say anything to know what he is feeling inside.
I'm in the same boat.
I look to Christian's room and back to Alex who just shakes his head, his way of telling me that he isn't here. I grab a beer and plop down beside him, content on just sitting here in silence, both of us waiting for Christian to appear at some time.
Then the real healing can begin.
Back to us.
Without her.