Let's Make Up

Madly

Molly squeezed John's hand to stop him from just going upstairs once they were back at his place. He squeezed hers back and smiled at her.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I'm just thankful." Molly said, "But... I'm also curious about what you guys talked about when you left the room."

John reached out and brushed his knuckles against her chin the way he would when he was about to kiss her and she tilted her head into it. He didn't follow through with it, but stared at her lips as he talked.

"After you told us that you can't have kids she said she didn't really have anything to worry about. I'd like to think it really helped that Avery was quick to like you though."

"I don't understand." Molly said, sounding a little hurt.

"Helen is really obsessed with her reputation. It's a fair assumption to say she's pretty threatened by your looks and was worried that if we were sleeping together, you'd get pregnant. She didn't want people to think that I'd moved on with a younger woman and impregnated her because it would be a 'bad look'. She worried that if I had to pay child support to you at some point, that there would be less for her and Avery."

"Wow. That's cute. What a b***h!" Molly said, obviously offended.

"What if we were madly in love and wanted a child? You're just not allowed to have a life beyond your ex?"

John could sense an argument brewing so he tried to calm her down, but she didn't want to let up.

"At least I left my shitty ex. He can't make rules for my life anymore."

"It's not that simple." He told her, "You don't have a kid involved in your situation. "

Her eyes were filled with disdain.

"Because I can't, Johnny."

He felt instant regret for what he'd said and asked her to stay but she walked toward her bedroom. She just shook her head and closed the door.

Later in the evening, John came downstairs again and knocked on Molly's door. She hesitated to open it but let him in and went back to sit under the bed covers.

"Still awake? Can I come in?" He asked.

"It's your house, you can do whatever you want." She shot back at him while pulling the blankets around herself tightly in some subconscious show of defense.

"Molly, please." He started as he sat on the side of her bed. "I didn't want to upset you. I'm really happy you're here. Can we talk about it?"

John looked so sincere that she found herself unable to deny him. She silently processed what she would say about it and began to explain that she never thought she'd actually want kids but since her surgery, she would get depressed about her lost opportunity. She said that it felt like karma for previously saying she didn't want any children for such a long time. She educated him about her condition that caused her to have an irregular shaped womb that was covered with fibroids and 'raspberry' cyst clusters. Explaining that her issues were usually not considered to be as bad as PCOS, (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) since that often interfered with women's hormone balances, and that even though she had a really hard time, she was lucky to be able to get through things. He felt for her despite being unable to empathize and asked if it affected her relationship with her ex. She said it didn't in the way he'd expect since Julien had told her that he saw it as a good thing, and would even refer to her as 'a girl with no consequences', but reminded John that he barely touched her anyway.

John moved himself so that he was beside her and laid back on her pillows. He asked her to lay down as well so she did, facing him, and he traced some of the black lines on her arms with his finger.

"How could anyone not want to touch you?" He wondered aloud.

"Johnny, I'm going to get turned on big time if you keep doing that." She shuddered as he continued to graze his hand over her body.

"So get turned on then."

John said as he took back the blanket she had on top of her and held up the arm he had been touching, over her head. "Telling me that wasn't going to dissuade me, if that's what you wanted."

Molly looked up at the burly man holding her down and thought about what she'd said to him earlier. She whispered, "What if we were madly in love?"

He tightened his grip and kissed her repeatedly so that she could barely catch her breath in between.

"Johnny!" She gasped. "I can't do this right now."

He stopped immediately and let her sit up.

"Did I do something?"

"Yeah, you make me want to scream." She smiled even though her eyes were down, showing that she was upset.

He stayed silent as she continued,

"I keep wanting you so bad and you push me away. Then I meet your ex wife and go through all the motions and traps she's set for me, just for her to think I'm always going to bed with you... and, look, here I am... in bed with you... wanting it to go further all the time. I'm just proving her right. Probably everyone thinks I'm just a dumb slut. Even you."

John slumped himself down onto his back and sighed. "I don't think that about you. I did worry that I might be your rebound but I'd take that status any day if it means I get to be with you."

"Be with me how? Just sexually?"

He turned to face her, wanting to kiss her again to somehow prove his feelings for her. "No, just be with you in any sense. You get me going like nothing, but when we do literally anything, I'm happy. s**t, the way you drink your damn coffee knocks me out. I can't keep my distance from you at all. So, yeah, I do want to f**k you, like absolute crazy and I told you that already... but that's just the cherry on top of everything. I want to kiss you, hold you, listen to you sing in the shower, hell, I'd settle for washing the dishes with you, taking you to the lake again, having you fall asleep on my shoulder while we watch something on TV. Just... anything. Anything you'd want or allow."

"Well-" Molly started but John kept talking.

"You don't have to say anything back or tell me what you're thinking right now. Thank you for coming tonight, seeing you with my daughter and making her laugh so much was incredible. I can't remember the last time I felt like this, but you're the only thing on my mind recently. I should've maybe gotten that front desk girl a raise instead of firing her since you've been here with me, kissing me and healing me."

Molly held on to the last part. "Healing you?"

John closed his eyes and raised his arms over his head again, the way he had the other morning.

"I hope you never find a place to stay. And I hope you never stop finding this old body attractive."

She reached out to stroke the dark stubble on his face and climbed on top of him.

Starting to unbutton his shirt, and kiss him in a frenzy of emotions, he took her hands firmly and stopped her.

"Not tonight. You already said to stop once and as much as I really do like this pity you're showing me, I'd rather it be mutual. When I finally get to be inside of you, I want you to be madly in love with me, like you said. Or at least have you think that you are." John said with a sense of sadness. "Let's just go to sleep, I'm exhausted from being around Helen. "

Molly kissed him one more time, gently savoring the soft bounce of his lips on her own, and the smell of his cologne as she got off of him. She turned off the light and laid next to him, listening to him fall asleep before she got the chance tell him that she already was.