Dallas.

not-so lovely

Dallas

Ty and I woke up super early and had s3x again, then took a shower before getting dressed for the day. We made breakfast together and got Austyn ready, well watched her get ready since we are letting her be independent and do things for herself. We worked on some things and spent some time together. We took Austyn to her favorite pizza and playplace so we could tell her the good news. We sat her down and Tyler decided he wanted to tell her.

"Princess, you know how you said you wanted us to be a real family and wanted us to live here every single day? Well, mom and I talked about it and we decided that it is a great idea. We are so proud of you for thinking about it and bringing it up to us and we have decided that we agree. You, mommy and I are all going to be a real family now." We watch her face light up. "I am going to have a real family!" she screams, bouncing up and down on her chair. "Austyn, shh" I say when I notice people staring. "Does this mean that you and daddy will share your room and your bed and you will give me a little brother like all of the mommies and daddies do?" she is talking so fast, that I can't even say no, but how does she know these things? The little smile on her face is everything right now though. "Daddy and I will share a room, and we will see about a baby. Daddy and I are really busy. Who will take care of the baby? Maybe in the future," I tell her and that answer seems to satisfy her for now. The food arrives and we eat and talk about what we all want our future to look like. After Austyn is done eating, she goes off to play. "I want you to have my babies," Ty tells me. "Yeah, well, I stand by what I said. We are too busy right now and you need to wear condoms because I am not on birth control. We already messed up," I begin to get worried. I need to go get a day after pill as soon as possible. We can't be this reckless.

We spend the next hour with Tyler trying to explain why we can have another baby right now. His logic is that by the time the baby is born, we won't even be on tour anymore and he says we can tour less, like once every 2 or 3 years instead of every single year. He also says he plans on building a studio in our home so we don't have to leave and travel as much, literally only the months we are on tour and he says his mom will be with us and the kids. He really thought about everything, but I still don't know. Leaving one kid is hard. I am sure it will be harder to leave two kids.

Once we return home, Austyn and I decided to have an afternoon to ourselves. Girl time since Ty said he promised Terrance he would go out with him to the bar. He was begging me to tell him not to go, but T needs his help as his wingman and who am I to say no? Yes, I am his girlfriend now, but I don't own him, and T is our friend. It's not like Ty will hook up with the girl. I trust him. He is just going to do this to help T out. T needs to find friends around here though. I don't want him to always ask Ty to be his wingman. This will only be a one-time thing, because he had already agreed to it. Everyone goes their own way to get ready and we put a movie in Austyn's room to keep her busy since she said she wanted to try on different outfits and she threatened us not to go in until she was ready to surprise us with her outfit. Of course, Tyler can't keep his hands off me, so he pushes me into my closet and has his way with me. I gladly let him, because it will be some hours before I see him and feel him again.

What happened was amazing. My body is still buzzing. I feel so light and so happy. Like something inside of me changed. Like if I finally got my missing piece. When my man gets home tonight, I want a repeat. My man. I love how that sounds. Tyler is mine and only mine. Austyn comes running in. "Mama, do you like my dress?" she asks me. It is a navy blue dress and she is wearing silver shoes that look like the glass slippers in the c!nderella movie. I brush her hair and she asks to wear her tiara. "Oh, wow a princess," Abina walks in. "Where have you guys been?" she asks. "Daddy took us on a date. Daddy, mommy and me are a real family now. Mommy and daddy are going to sleep on the same bed and give me a baby brother, like Cage," she announces, and I look at her, shocked at how easily this girl just put our business out there. "Austyn, this is not something we go around saying to everyone, okay. All you have to say is that you live in a home with your mommy and daddy and that we all love each other," I tell her. Albi is clearly trying to hold her laugh in. "Okay mama, Auntie Albi, do you want to have girl time with mommy and me?" Austyn asks her and Albi goes to tickle her. "Yes, I love girl time. It is my favorite time," she says as Austyn giggles and cheers. "We clearly have a lot to talk about," Albina whispers to me and I nod.

After a bunch of kisses from Ty, the guys finally leave to the bar and I take my girls to my favorite clothes store in town. I remember when Cali first brought me here. I felt so grown. "Pick out your birthday outfit." I tell Albi. I tell Austyn if she finds something she likes she can get it. The clothes here don't fit her, so it will have to be an accessory. While I look at the racks of clothes, my phone rings. It is my lawyer. I quickly answer. We talk for a moment and sadly, it is not good news like I hoped. Apparently there's a stall on mom's case and they don't know if they can arrest Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Stevens. They seem to need more proof. How is it that we don't have enough evidence to put them in jail for life? I guess being the first lady and very influential in a small town allows you to get away with murder, not on my watch though. I will do anything to get them to pay for what they did to my family. They ruined our lives and they have to pay for it. Ugh, I can feel myself getting angry. I was in such a good mood too. Maybe Ty can help me tonight. If he comes back at a decent time, I also feel like I want to have some fun of my own though. I make plans quickly, "We are going to go out tonight as well. Once we get Austyn in bed it will be our turn to have some fun before we go back to our real lives. I am going to text Virginia and ask her and Beckham to come babysit," I tell her. I need this so badly too. I want a night off. To shut my brain down and relax. I don't want to think about everything that's happening. We all find something we like and I pay and we go get ice cream across the street. We have our cones and decide we will walk around and see if we like anything from another store.

We step outside of the ice cream shop and bump into Beau and Marissa. Just great. I do notice how Beau's eyes light up when they land on Austyn. "Hey", Beau says. I give him a tight-lipped smile. Austyn looks at him and tugs on my leg. "Mommy, I want to go with daddy," she says. "Okay, we are going," I say, knowing that she will be disappointed when she finds out that we are not going to meet with Tyler at the moment. She goes to stand next to Albi. "Wow, it's been a long time since I have seen you," Marissa says, as if we are long lost friends. She sounds a little too friendly. I still remember that day. The last time we saw each other. She yelled at me and had so much hate in her eyes, this time there's less hate. I always wondered who hated me more her or Beau's mom. "Yeah it's been a while hasn't it," I say. She is saying something, but I catch a movement from the corner of my eye and, although the sun is going down, there's still some sunlight, and I catch the person wearing a clown mask peaking out from behind a black van. He is there, then he is not and I think that I just imagined it all, but I remember what happened to Cali some time back and I could kick myself for not hiring security. A crazy person wearing a clown mask is around and trying to hurt us. We thought it was over because nothing has happened in so long and we didn't think we needed protection here in our home town. I am probably tripping though. It's me being super paranoid about everything. Marissa is now laughing, so I shake my head and turn back to the not-so lovely couple. Marissa wraps her arms around Beau's biceps. "Did you hear? We are going to get married soon," she is talking to me, but all I hear is a ringing noise, then a lot of yelling. I feel burning coming from my chest. It gets hard for me to breathe. "Mommy" I hear my daughter. Something tells me to look down and I see blood. "She has been shot. Call an ambulance," I hear "Dallasssssss". I hear Abina's voice. She is yelling my name. I hear the voices loudly, then they begin fading away until ringing is all I hear, before I fall to the ground.