His Favorite Sin

IN THE BEGINNING Nine Years Ago College could be very expensive. And not everyone can land a scholarship. So I took part-time jobs as a barista, a waiter, a cashier... I did it all! And while the generous tips helped out, they weren’t enough. So, I took on more jobs even after school had started, and I had resumed my studies for my first year. I lived with my nana though, but she barely could help me through high school. It was hard, though, being an eighteen-year-old doing all those part-time jobs while in school. I was falling behind in classes, assignments, and school projects... so I needed something less demanding but with more pay. A miracle, one would say. I walked in and out of companies looking to hire, applied to job postings online with only my public high school diploma to show, and, surprise, surprise, no one called or emailed back. So, I stuck to my cashier job for a while. One day, my roommate in the dorms informed me of a job she’d heard about from someone else. She knew very few details about it, just that I may not need that many qualifications to apply. So I shrugged, asked for the email to apply, and tried my luck, expecting no response like the rest. I had already applied to a lot of places at this time, even when I didn’t meet the qualifications. I once applied to a law firm. I major in English. Two weeks after applying for the mysterious job, I was stunned to find an email in my inbox inviting me for an interview. It was then that I saw the address and discovered it was in the next town. I had no idea what the job was about, and the email gave no hints either, but still, I happily wrestled my curly afro into a ponytail and hopped on the bus to the next town. We passed by long rows of cornfields that seemed to go on forever until we neared my bus stop. I had to diverge from the tiled road onto a dirt path and make a short walk before arriving at my destination. But even from the road, I could already see the building looming ahead over the trees. I was blown away by the sight. I had to lift my glasses and tilt my head up to gawk at the building that I refused to believe was a home for people to live in. Its unique architectural design didn’t seem like it was conjured up in this century. I was first welcomed by a round, cascading marble fountain with elaborate double staircases flanked on either side, curved and lined by clipped hedges, and leading up to the extravagant building. The dark clouds swirling above enhanced the gothic vibe the mansion presented as I walked up to the door. Dumbfounded, I was invited in by a maid with a Slavic accent and a dull expression on her face. I was then introduced to the owner of the mansion, Mr. Ben Dvorak, in his living room. He was a polite gentleman who offered me something to drink, complimented my college tee that I had on, and asked about my school. I complimented him on his home in return and thanked him for giving me the opportunity and inviting me to come for an interview. The maid had rushed away when the cry of a baby rang from upstairs, leaving me alone with Mr. Dvorak. ‘You’re a college student majoring in English. That means your reading and writing skills should be adequate, superior even. Am I right to believe that?’ I nodded in answer. He then narrated that he had a son who was 14 and visually impaired and therefore in need of some assistance, like reading to him, taking his notes, even helping him move around, and other such things an access assistant can help with. I didn’t understand why he was even considering me when he was clearly wealthy and could afford someone more professional and qualified for the job. However, he made a confession that not many people wanted the job. He believed it was because it included the person to also live in his home. ‘Usually, people are more than willing to work for me, but when it entails living with me, they become more... cautious.’ That left me even more puzzled, wondering why anybody, in their right mind, wouldn’t want to live in a house like this? It looked like a freaking castle! The pay? Even better! And it came with access to almost everything in the house, including food, the kitchen, the library, which was over-equipped for a home, the pool, the gardens, and so on. Some rooms were, of course, off-limits. Mostly the ones on the upper floors. Basically, free accommodation and an inflated salary. There were also talks about a Non-Disclosure Agreement. As desperate as I was for a well-paying job, though, I didn’t want to jump into it. It was strange to think no one else wanted it. ‘It’s all due to some ill rumors concocted and circulated around by some locals upset with me. You have nothing to worry about.’ He had assured me. ‘His mum, my wife, used to dedicate her time fully to him, but...’ He drifted off for a moment but then regained his demeanor, ‘I just need Lance to have some help for now until we can get a professional. So it’s temporary.’ I asked for time to think it over since it meant having to leave my college dorm. I was done with my first year, so it wasn’t a requirement to live in the dorms any longer. And although it was a different town, the distance to school wasn’t that bad. Heck, with what he was offering, I could ditch buses and take Ubers to and from school. After a handshake, I was almost out the door when it started to drizzle. Mr. Dvorak offered me a temporary stay until it settled down. He would have had his driver take me, but he had already sent his driver on an errand. I had no choice but to reluctantly accept his kindness and wait for the rain to settle. The weather only worsened, and soon, it was raining cats and dogs outside. I decided to do some exploring and check out the library. I could drown in the smell of books, and libraries provide that sensation. It was there that I met him for the first time, head full of hair, standing in front of the large floor-to-ceiling arched window that offered an aesthetic view of the greenery outside as the rain aggressively showered the earth. A cat with midnight fur had its body curled around the boy’s slim ankle. The feline perked up its head when it sensed my presence, twisting its neck to me while still curled around the boy’s ankle. Its big yellow eyes stayed trained on me in the dim room while I stood motionless in the doorway. I’ve been around many cats, but something about how this cat stared back at me left me unsettled, as if it were piercing my soul with its gaze. I contemplated leaving without a word before the boy would notice, but when I took a step backward, the cat’s eyes narrowed, following my movements. It felt almost as if it was disapproving of my actions, but that couldn’t be right. I took another, and this time, a voice was what stopped me. ‘Don’t.’ It came from him, the boy at the window, soft and pleading as he angled his head so I got a view of his side profile and the dark glasses he had on. I was taken aback momentarily. I collected myself and stepped forward, keeping an eye on the cat at his feet. ‘Um... hi. I’m Dahlia. You must be Lance.’ I guessed because he did look fourteen and was obviously visually impaired. Who else would wear sunglasses inside when it’s also raining outside? ‘I came here for the job interview to be your assistant. I just met your dad...’ I stuttered to a stop mid-sentence when he finally turned around so I got a better view of his face. He stood a few inches shorter. With the only light illuminating the room coming from the window behind him, his face was mostly shrouded in darkness, but I could still clearly see his Angular features. Sadly, the dark glasses he had on veiled his eyes from me. ‘You don’t want the job.’ He stated than asked. ‘No, I do. The pay seems nice, beyond nice. I mean, your dad is really generous,’ I rambled, recalling the amount Mr. Dvorak had laid out for me. ‘But I’m a full-time student, so I don’t know if I would have the time to... dedicate to the work. Plus, there has to be someone more professional who can assist you. You deserve that.’ He shrugged, ‘That’s okay. My dad is the one insisting I need some assistance, but I barely need any help, so you won’t be doing much. But I wouldn’t mind someone reading to me sometimes.’ He bent down and picked up the cat, cradling it in his arms as he stroked its fur. Now, the cat was staring at me more directly instead of craning its head up as it had when it was on the floor. For some reason, his pet wasn’t staring away, I observed, and it had had its eyes glued on me since I walked in. It must really like me. Or was extremely wary of me. ‘My mum used to do it for me. Read to me. She was a beautiful narrator,’ he added. I wanted to ask why he was talking about his mum in the past tense. His dad had spoken about her in a similar manner. Talking about people like that either meant they weren’t around anymore or they were dead, but I didn’t want to pry since we had just met. ‘Dad’s always busy with work, my older brother is at college, and Miss Anna isn’t a good reader. She doesn’t know how to read much.’ He said he barely needed help, but I believed he was only talking that way so as not to appear helpless and be looked upon with pity. I had just met him, but already, I could feel my heart tug for him. I felt sad for the boy. He’s never seen the physical world before, so all he’s left with is the imagination his mind could help build. My eyes shifted to the stacked shelves in the room, and I walked over to skim my fingers over the covers before pulling out one; “Simple Verses,” the title read by José Martí. Even turned away, I knew that creepy cat’s neck was twisting around with every step I took. Holding the book in my hand, I knew what I was about to do next would seal my fate, so I took a minute to mull it over before making up my mind. I turned back to him and asked, ‘Would you like me to read you a poem?’ ******* Present The heady scent of vanilla and jasmine wafted through my bedroom, enough to momentarily choke anyone who came in because my perfume had been repeatedly spritzed on me as if the scent would help mask my nervousness. I had Amy Winehouse’s soulful tunes playing from my phone on the bed, but no matter how soothing she sounded, it couldn’t help calm my erratic, beating heart. I was conventionally regarded as a tall woman, and many have complimented me, saying that if I were a bit slimmer, I would easily get booked as a runway model. But I was conscious of my height. So, I barely wore heels that were more than two inches high. Tonight, however, my book agent, Tammy, had forced my feet into dark red stilettos, leaving no room for argument. ‘You need more color,’ she had said because of the black dress I had on. It was sleeveless, with the hemline almost touching the toe-tips of my stilettos. My dark hair was silkily straightened, like always, and slicked into a low bun at the nape of my neck while a loose piece had been left to hang neatly at one side of my face. Staring at myself in the mirror, I admired the work Tammy had done on my face – a subtle application of light makeup with nude lipstick that gave me a natural look. My brown skin was radiant and glistening from the body oil she had squirted over me, especially on my arms and legs. She meant business! I felt pretty and a little confident, and that lasted for a minute before doubt slowly started to creep back in. Tonight was a big night, a dream come true! But what if I messed it up? ‘Is all this necessary, though?’ I turned away from the mirror and to Tamara, who was busy on her phone and ensuring our table at the restaurant was still reserved. ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘I’m just saying, do I need to be there? Didn’t we agree that I could remain anonymous while you handle everything else?’ ‘Yes, but they asked for a meeting. Remember, this deal hasn’t gone through yet, and tonight is our only night to convince them to take your book. We’re lucky they even agreed to this meeting.’ She reminded, barely looking up from her phone. I nodded, looking back into the mirror and mentally pumping myself up so my confidence could slowly return. Tamara had worked hard to find a publishing company that would take my book, and honestly, I didn’t think she would actually find me one. I didn’t believe what I wrote to be any good or even worthy of reading. Sometimes, I felt like a fraud and thought about just discarding it all. So, when Tammy burst through my door a week ago while I was sprawled on the couch, nearly giving me a panic attack from her abrupt entry, I watched her sing Alleluia at the top of her lungs and forcefully pull me out of the couch, squealing excitedly that she had found a publishing company willing to accept my work. I couldn’t believe it! It sounded unreal, like I was dreaming, but Tammy made sure to pinch me real hard and confirm I was awake. The company wanted a meeting with me, though, and Tammy said to expect them to want me to discuss my book and essentially ‘pitch it’ to them, even though they had already read the manuscript. They also wanted to know about me, she had said. I really didn’t see the need for this meeting. Did they want the book or not? ‘It’s only for tonight, Cora.’ Tammy had finally looked up from her phone and noticed the pale look on my face. ‘Just amaze them with your charm that you have hidden deep, deep, really deep inside and show them the passion you poured into this book.’ I narrowed my eyes slightly at her playful jab. ‘Once they shake hands and agree to publish, you can come home and continue to hide away in your little cave till you wrinkle into old age. Although, I still don’t get why you insist on remaining in the shadows. Like, girl, are you in witness protection or something?’ She laughed, going to take a seat on the bed, but I didn’t return her smile. I couldn’t, especially since she wasn’t so far from the truth. I wasn’t in witness protection, but I was a witness to something I shouldn’t have, and to protect myself, I had to keep a low profile and stay hidden from the rest of the world as much as possible. That was why Tammy knew me as Cora and not my real name, Dahlia. Seeing me not amused, Tamara rolled her eyes. ‘I swear you all writers are the same – highly introverted and lack a sense of humor.’ She muttered and went back to her phone. The red jumpsuit she had on with her beige heels gave her that successful businesswoman look. ‘Where’s that pea-brained cousin of mine who’s supposed to take us anyway?’ On cue, there was a knock on the open bedroom door before someone uttered, ‘Hello... oh, wow.’ Drew walked in, adjusting his glasses with his eyes fixated on me in surprise. ‘You’re beautiful.’ His compliment brought a smile to my lips and some warmth to my cheeks. ‘And you have me to thank for that, cuz.’ Tammy commented as her cousin strolled up to me, a flirtatious smile on his face. He placed his hands on my hips, holding my gaze. ‘I don’t know. I’m a little bit nervous. What if I don’t impress them?’ I admitted my fears while fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. ‘You’ll do great.’ He assured me, leaning in for a kiss on the lips. ‘Hey hey hey!’ Tammy abruptly jerked up from the bed. ‘Don’t ruin my hard work with your lovey-dovey nonsense. That’s YSL!’ We ignored her, but she picked up the lipstick and forcefully pulled me away from Drew so she could retouch my makeup. ‘I just wanted to show my girl some love, Tam Tam.’ ‘Well, you can do that later. For now, keep it in your pants, Romeo!’ Noticing the smile on my face, she rolled her eyes, ‘Oh, so now you seem excited.’ Tammy and Drew were cousins, which was how I met Drew. She invited me to her parents’ wedding anniversary, and Drew had been there. Our attraction for each other had been instant, and we’d been together for more than a year. He was the sweetest gentleman any girl would ever want. When Tammy was done, he brought out my coat for me, draping it over my shoulder. I was tempted to kiss him again, and I knew he was thinking the same thing, but I knew Tammy’s head would explode. She rolled her eyes when she saw us staring at each other. ‘Anyone who saw you guys would think you were teens who started dating yesterday instead of the adults you really are.’ She slipped on her own coat also and then led the way out. ‘Come on, love birds. We can’t afford to be late. Not for this.’ On the ride, I felt my nerves shrink almost completely away, with Drew uttering words of encouragement beside me while he drove. I actually fear for Tammy’s eyeballs with the number of times she had rolled them in the last thirty minutes. Tammy had booked somewhere fancy, an Italian restaurant. I was nervous about the money, but she told me not to worry about it. ‘The company is taking care of the cost,’ she assured. ‘They’re not that big, but they’ve got enough resources and, most importantly, money, lots of it from investors, and to think, they picked your book!’ ‘You’ve got this.’ Drew encouraged me one last time as he dropped us off at the restaurant. ‘You can let me know when you’re done so I can come pick you up after.’ He squeezed my hand in his lap. ‘Ugh.’ Tammy pulled a face of disgust before getting out of the car, and I followed. The overall ambiance of the room was mellow, from the lighting to the decor and the violins playing in the background. The tables were relatively far apart from one another; even the waiters spoke in hushed tones as they led us to our table. Tammy, mimicking their quiet tone, told them we were waiting for others to join us, so they only poured us two glasses of water and left. ‘Wow, Tammy. This place is nice.’ I commented, taking in the deluxe setting of the restaurant. ‘It is.’ She nodded, sipping her water, more relaxed than I was. She seemed more at home here, with her confident demeanor, unlike me, who sat stiffly in her chair. ‘Now, Cora, I need you to loosen up because they will be getting here any minute, and I need you on your A game.’ I instantly straightened up as she turned serious. ‘Remember what I told you; Laugh at their jokes even when it isn’t funny. Leave most of the talking to me. I will handle the chit-chat and other informal conversations. Remember what I told you when you wanted to talk about your book? Talk about your characters and their complexities, why they became the way they ended up. Why characters like Marcus are actually villains. If they have any questions, answer them calmly, don’t rush, take your time. Be confident. You made a masterpiece, and you should be proud of that. Remember, they want your book; otherwise, we won’t be having this dinner. All of this is just a formality.’ I nodded along to her instructions, but she was cut short when a waiter approached to speak with us. It seemed like our company had arrived, and they wanted us to come out and confirm our guests. Tammy left with them while I did breathing exercises, literally. If I could get my book signed and published with this company, I would finally have accomplished something with my life for the first time ever after so many years of running and hiding. I didn’t get to finish college; I left all my friends and family behind, but now, something good was finally happening to me. I still needed to hide and maintain a low profile, but at least I got this going for me. The satisfying sound of Tammy’s heels clicking against the floor behind me could not be mistaken, and I took one last deep breath as she finally returned beside me. I straightened up, plastering a smile on my face as I stood to greet our guest. ‘They’re here.’ Tammy leaned in and whispered. A woman in navy blue blazers and pants appeared from behind, and I was about to welcome her when I noticed she had her hand tucked in the elbow of someone else and was cautiously leading them through the room. The man’s free hand gripped a white cane that he tapped on the floor to help him navigate around, and when I got a closer look at his face, my breath got stuck in my throat. No. It couldn’t be. The smile on my face turned frozen, and a sharp jolt ran through me as my heart skipped a beat. My fingers turned cold, memories from seven years ago resurfacing and flooding my mind like a tidal wave; one in particular of where the rain splattered the earth, soaking through my clothes. A man tied and on his knees, struggling; a loud gunshot rang through the air, and his body sinking into the earth while two figures loomed over him, watching. I am drawn back to the present, the blood draining from my face as I watched him stop, and automatically, the woman guiding him had no option but to pause also, puzzled when he remained planted in his spot. She pulled away as he turned to face me, and the smile on my face was completely faded. My body was frozen to the spot as we stood mere feet apart from one another, my dreams shattering into tiny, sharp pieces that could pierce a heart. Thick Tom Ford shades shielded the man’s eyes even though it was nighttime, and we were in an enclosed restaurant. He towered over me, a few inches taller now as he stood in front of me, and even after seven years, I couldn’t be mistaken about who it was standing in front of me. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be here. This scene only happened when I lay down in bed at night with my eyes closed, and the nightmares came for me. But I was fully awake now. And as if everything was normal in the world, he said only one word: ‘Hi.’ I was a dead woman.