ENDER
I tried to not think about her. I tried not to envision the first time I saw her, standing there with those confused eyes and trembling on her shoulders. I tried not to picture her naked body standing in the dining room, scared and pleading. I tried not to think of things I shouldn't think of because I couldn't think about her that way.
Not after everything. I could not think about her, like she was some saint who could do no harm to me. But Meredith was back. And, like usual, she tormented me. In my dreams and in life.
I pushed myself to stop. I knew that I needed to stop, I wanted to stop so badly, but I couldn't. Not when she stared at me like that. Not after I had seen her naked and drank her in. Not when I had quivered in excitement and thrill at the sight of her. I had seen
