Respect over liking
1301 Words
(Avery)
I pushed my chair back and stood up. “I think I’m going to look at my room some more,” I said, keeping my voice from shaking.
Elias stood too. “I’ll go with you.”
Caleb’s eyes moved to him right away. He didn’t say anything, but the look he gave Elias was hard to miss. It was a glare that told me he didn't like the way Elias had spoken to me. Elias didn’t seem to care.
I walked out first, and Elias followed. The sound of our footsteps filled the hall until we reached my room. I opened the door and stepped inside, but he didn’t follow right away.
“Why are you really leaving the table?” he asked.
I turned to face him. “I don’t know how to act around them. It’s awkward.”
His eyes stayed on mine. “Then let me help you with that.”
I hesitated. “How?”
“Lesson one. Etiquette,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door. “You sit too stiff when you’re trying to look proper. It makes you look like you’re uncomfortable. People notice that.”
“I was uncomfortable,” I said.
“Then fix it. You can’t let people see that. You keep your shoulders back, but not tense. You speak clear, not rushed. And don’t let your hands fidget like they did just now.”
“I was nervous,” I told him.
He gave me a short look. “Nervous doesn’t matter. If you want people to respect you, you have to act like you belong there.”
“I do belong there,” I said.
“Not if you keep giving them reasons to doubt you.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not going to sit here and let you tell me I’m failing before I’ve even started. I did my best.”
“Your best is fine for now,” he said. “But you can’t stay at fine.”
“I’m learning. That takes time.”
“You don’t have time. Prestwick doesn’t wait for anyone.”
I stared at him. “You think I don’t know that?”
He stepped closer. “Then act like you know it.”
“I am acting like I know it,” I said. “I showed up. I spoke when I was supposed to. I answered your questions. That’s more than I owe you.”
He studied me for a moment, then shook his head. “You owe yourself more than that.”
Before I could answer, there was a knock at the door.
I opened it to find Caleb standing there, holding a book. “Can you help me with my homework?”
I knew right away that wasn’t the real reason he was here. His eyes moved from me to Elias, then back again.
“I’m busy,” Elias said.
“I wasn’t asking you,” Caleb replied.
I stepped aside so Caleb could come in. He set the book down on my desk and opened it. “It’s math,” he said.
“Alright,” I said, pulling the chair out. I sat while he stood next to me. I could feel him glancing at Elias every now and then.
Elias stayed by the door, his arms folded.
Caleb leaned down a little. “You good?” he asked under his breath.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m fine.”
He gave a short nod and pointed to the book. “I don’t get this part.”
I walked him through the steps. He listened, but I could tell he wasn’t really focused on the work.
When we finished the problem, he closed the book. “Thanks,” he said.
“No problem.”
Elias didn’t say anything.
Caleb looked at him again before turning back to me. “I’ll see you later,” he said, and left the room.
Once the door was closed again, Elias spoke. “You don’t need him checking in on you.”
“He wasn’t,” I said.
“He was. And you don’t need that. You need to be able to stand on your own without someone worrying you can’t handle it.”
“I can handle it,” I said.
“Then prove it.”
“I already am,” I told him.
He shook his head again. “Not yet.”
“I’m not going to change everything about myself in one night because you say so,” I said. “I’m still me.”
“You can still be you,” he said. “You just have to be better at it.”
“That’s your opinion,” I replied.
“It’s the truth.”
“I don’t care if it’s your truth. I’m not going to let you talk to me like I’m nothing.”
His eyes stayed on mine for a long moment. “Then show me I’m wrong.”
“I will,” I said.
“Good,” he replied. “Because if you don’t, they’ll eat you alive over there.”
I sat back in the chair. “I’ve dealt with worse than them.”
“That’s what you think,” he said.
“That’s what I know.”
He didn’t answer. He walked over to the desk and picked up the math book Caleb had left. “You’re good at this?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Then use that. Be known for something other than being new.”
“I plan to.”
“Good,” he said again. “Because if you just sit there waiting for them to like you, you’ll be waiting forever.”
“I’m not waiting for them to like me,” I said. “I’m going to make them respect me.”
“That’s better,” he said. “Respect is harder to lose.”
I stood. “I don’t need you to tell me how to live my life.”
“You do if you want to survive in that place.”
“I’ll survive my own way,” I said.
He didn’t move. “We’ll see.”
I walked to the door and opened it. “Lesson over?”
“For now,” he said.
“Good,” I replied.
He stepped out into the hall but stopped. “Tomorrow we start earlier. Don’t be late.”
“I won’t,” I said.
He gave one short nod and walked away.
I closed the door and sat back down at the desk. My eyes went to the math book. I picked it up and set it aside. I wasn’t in the mood for more lessons. Not tonight.
A few minutes later, there was another knock. I opened the door to find Caleb again.
“Forgot my book,” he said.
I handed it to him. “Here.”
He didn’t take it right away. “Was he too hard on you?”
“No,” I said.
He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me. “If he is, you can tell me.”
“I can handle it,” I told him.
“Alright,” he said, taking the book. “I just don’t like the way he talks to you sometimes.”
“I’m fine,” I said again.
He nodded. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” I said.
When he left, I sat back down. The room was quiet again. I thought about what Elias had said, and even though I didn’t like his tone, I knew some of it was true. Still, I wasn’t going to let him think he could push me around.
I would learn what I needed to, but I would do it my way.
- Writer
