Mending His Mate's Pain

Chapter 13

I seat on my bed as soon as I went back to my room, I heavily sigh and close my eyes. I am a little mad to myself for missing the chance, I thought I already could tell to my family about my plan, but I wasn't able to. His words are like daggers that made me change my mind in a sudden. I felt weak once again, because I didn't knew words can affect me tho' I understand because he is my father and I know to myself that all the words he said were genuine.

Looking back at the days I spent with Alec, none of those sweet words was I able to heard with him even whe I was a kid— and I don't think his words were genuine, only the reprimands and curses were genuine. Only if I can choose, I will choose this life than the life I had with him— I mean, anyone will choose this life over a life where full of suffering. I wasted decades I had with him, even if I learn a lot, I could also learn it here without being beaten whenever I have done a mistake. I shake my head a little to bring myself back into reality.

"I need to tell them about my plan as soon as possible," I whisper to myself knowing it will take time and it will be hard. If ever my decision will break my mother and father's heart I don't think I will be ever pursue it. But I also don't want to be in this situation forever, where I know I am free to do everything but there is something that holds me back. There is something in me that thinks I am weird that I am different, maybe that's because unlike everybody I have no friends, I don't have any with me. I don't know if I shall consider Red as my friend because we are not really close, as much as I want to be close with her, she is busy with her own life and every time I get near her I suddenly feel diffident.

Maybe because I think she is out of my league, she is the opposite of me but I know for sure if we'll get to know each other we'll be close. She is a friend I wish I had when I was little, she asks me whenever she feels like I'm not okay and help me with the things I'm still not used at. She is my twin after all, and seeing her and Xerias situation made me sad for her. They act so sweet inside this castle and everyone are witness on how in love they are every time they took a glance at each other so I don't know why they keep on denying about what they feel when even us, we can see how in love they look. They are with eachother every single day and I don't think I will imagine Red with no Xerias on her side. Even Nicholas earlier, I know for sure he is also confuse about their behaviour as he is one of those who witnessed how my twin and his friend love each other .

Speaking of Nicholas, we both know our connection but I don't even know how to approach him or shall I approach him? I even distance myself from him, thinking I must distance myself from him because a wolf and a vampire cannot be a mate. But I guess I was wrong? Red is a Vampire and Xerias is a wolf but the King and Queen are in support of their relationship.

Even if that so, I don't think I can imagine myself being in love, especially with this state of mind and life. There are a lot of things I need to deal with, I have to put first what needs to be put first. And like what I have said, I will put myself first above everything because how can I prioritize others if I can't prioritize my own self.

I used my teleportation power and senses to find where my twin is, I can feel it in my inside that she is not fine.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked as soon as I found here. She is at the back of the big tree behind the Queen's garden.

"How are you? How do you feel?" I asked her softly and sat besides her.

"I felt betrayed, Blue. I felt my rights being taken away from me earlier. Do I really have no rights to know the truth? That he is leaving?" she asked with anger and sadness on her voice. Blue is indeed a strong woman and I understand why she is crying right now. I understand why suddenly disappear and choose to be alone.

"Why did no one tell me about this one?" Red asked, making her voice a little louder.

"There's no need for them to tell you," Xerias finally answered her sister.

Blue was just watching as they were looking

at each other. She tried to look to the other

side, but she caught Nicholas's eyes, who

were watching her.

So, this must be the weird feeling that she was feeling a while ago like someone was looking at her, but she dared not to look as if she was busy watching the couple in front of her.

Blue tried to look at Red and Xerias again as she was avoiding his stares.

Their convo and small fight then flashes iny mind, I know for sure that during their conversation and with what Xerias said Blue is already in pain. He is like destroying her being, crashing her heart as she felt no right. There was no man who made her feel that way, only Xerias and that made me mad at him for making Red feel this way. I don't even know if he already knew that Red is in here, he must have known already since it's easier for him to find her since they are mate but where is he? Did he even tried finding Red? With what's happening, it made me think if what he had shown were real..