How Deep is Your Love?

27 - Brian

“Is it true?” A dreaded voice broke out and I halted as soon as my eyes landed on the owner of that voice.

“Joanna.” I uttered softly, but still clear enough for the woman who just entered the door to hear.

“Is it really true?” She asked once more, her voice filled with sadness and pain.

“How much information did you hear?” I asked after taking in a deep breath.

Then I stood up and slowly walked towards Joanna, guiding her towards the couch.

“Enough to know that you were married and that you just got back from your honeymoon.” Joanna answered with bitterness in her voice. Tears then welled up in her eyes as she grabbed my arm while I am seated next to her. “So, is it true? It’s not, right? You aren’t, right?”

“Joanna.” I called out her name again and sighed, meeting her gaze.

“It is true.” She then replied knowing the meaning of that look I just gave her. With her shoulders shaking, she retracted her hand and covered her face as she cried.

I calmly watched her and let her cry without saying a word. My heart was all over the place as I felt a ton of missed emotions inside me. I felt guilty and bad at the same time. I wanted to put my arms around her and comfort her but a string is pulling me away. My marriage had somehow casted an invisible barrier around me, not enabling me to do it.

“I’m sorry for crying out loud. You must be very busy but here I am disturbing you.” Joanna said after calming down. She seated there meekly and her head’s bowed in shame. “I really apologize. I know I have no right to. I just. I just had to. I mean, I thought we’re okay, Brian? Aren’t we?”

“We are.” I replied almost immediately.

“Then why?” She demanded, a tear slowly dropped through her cheek making me feel guiltier. “I thought we’re okay. I thought you understood why I had to leave back then. I thought we’re on the same page. Now it turns out, I’m the only one thinking that way.”

“No. It’s not like that. It’s just that, everything happened so fast.” I tried to explain.

“Brian, I came back for you. I thought you love me?” She added, looking so broken hearted.

“Joana. I’m so sorry. There’s nothing I can do now.” I replied.

“So this is the end then?” She asked and smiled sadly. “If only I knew this would happen…then I wish I was selfish enough back then to just go ahead and marry you no matter what. If only I knew I would survive, Brian. Then maybe I am your wife now. Not someone else.”

“I’m truly sorry.” I just repeated.

“Is this some kind of your revenge to me? Because I left without a word before so now you got married without a word too? IS this your way of getting even, Brian?” She suddenly asked.

“No. Of course not. That wasn’t even on my mind.” I replied right away.

“Sorry. I just…I just love you so much that it hurts.” She declared.

I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know what to say. As silence filled the room, she continued to sob.

“Brian.” She finally called out after. I could see anticipation as well as hope within her eyes. “I know you’re married now, but we can still be friends. Right?”

“Of course.” I answered and gave her a comforting smile, another wave of guilt washing over me.

Then there was a dramatic silence and neither one of us broke it. She wasn’t also crying anymore but deep in her thoughts. At that exact moment, my assistant called via the intercom.

“Mr. O’Donnell, sir?” My assistant called out.

“Yes, I’m here.” I replied.

“Mr. O’Donnell. Your wife came to your office just now. She’s right outside the door.” Terry replied, her voice sounding a bit worried. She knew who Joanna was and who Natalie is now. “Sir?”

Before I even got to answer, I saw Joanna impulsively walked to the door and pushed it open. Following her closely, I really saw Natalie standing innocently just outside the door. Shock was evidently registered on her face when she saw Joana then gaze at me with a complicated look.

“So, it’s you…” Joanna blurted out softly, her eyes wide as she looked at Natalie. “You are the woman Brian married.”

“Yeah.” Natalie replied as her expression changed from shock into a calm one. Then a confident smile played on her face as she gave me a light wave. It was like a sign for me to acknowledge her presence. “Hi, hubby!”

Hubby? Hah. I thought as I heard her endearment.

There was no reaction on my part as I didn’t know what to say, she just stood to her feet. The silence lasted a little longer as strange tension hung in the air.

“I wonder what tricks you played this time.” Joanna said, finally breaking the silence. Then she turned to me, sadness and pain is evident in her face. “I told you so. I told you a number of times, Brian. I told you how obsessed she is with you but you failed to listen. Since then until now, she’s always around lurking and waiting to catch you. And now, you fell on her trap.”

“Excuse me?” I heard Natalie retorted from the side.

“Isn’t true? Ever since you were always there trying to break us apart.” Joanna declared confidently, her voice breaking as tears fell off her eyes. “And now that I was back and we’re good, you finally made him marry you. How did you do it, huh? Did you trap him by a drunken night s*x?”

Natalie’s face paled as soon as those words came out of Joanna’s mouth. I was also shocked with her words and placed my hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Natalie saw my hand gesture and her confident expression earlier faltered, her eyes saddened drastically. Then she turned to me. The look in her eyes gave away her desperation for a reaction on my part.

“Hah. I’m right. How cheap are you to trap someone who doesn’t even love you into marrying you? You disgust me.” Joanna added.

PAK!!! The sound of the slap resonated all over the floor. I was taken a back and sharply gazed at Natalie for her aggressiveness.

“You don’t know anything! How dare you call me cheap!” She yelled, her hand was red and trembling.

Joanna just held on her cheek before pushing my hand away and directly walking past Natalie into the elevator, sobbing.

“Joanna.” I called out and followed her but a hand gripped on my arm tightly, making me stop.

“Please don’t go.” Natalie said as looked at me intently.

I lowered my eyes away from hers and slowly pushed her hand away, deciding to go and follow Joanna. A tear finally fell of her eye and that made my heart stop.

“Even if you go to her, I will never give you up, Brian. Call me a leech but I will never allow that woman to be your wife. Because no matter what happens, I will only be your wife!” She exclaimed like a brat.

Seeing her face, I shook my head for falling for her tears. I almost wanted to just stay.

“Let’s see.” I dared and disappointedly looked at her before directly walking towards the elevator.

***

I wasn’t able to catch up to Joanna and she wasn’t even answering my calls when I went after her. Having no choice, I just went back to my office and thought that I can just drown myself with work to get rid of my stress. To my surprise, I saw Natalie comfortably sitting in the couch, a lunchbox placed on the center table. I automatically checked the time and realized that it’s past 12noon.

“Lunch?” Natalie immediately offered as soon as she saw me enter the room, her face lightened up upon seeing me.

“No, thanks. Go home.” I said seriously and directly went to my seat, wanting to immediately immerse myself with all these paper works.

Awkward silence filled the room.

“What happened earlier…it was hurtful.” She said and I froze. I looked at her this time and she gave me a sad smile. “But you know what? I love you so deeply that you’ll have to do a whole lot better if you really want to get rid of me.”

Her words echoed in my mind and I was first to look away. I can’t bare looking at those eyes.

“Just…Go home.” I said after sometime.

She turned to the side and I knew she was wiping her eyes. I sighed out the guilt I was feeling.

“Are you not gonna ask me why I came?” She asked, suddenly changing the subject.

I pretended not to hear her. I didn’t wanna talk to her. Actually, at this moment, I didn’t even want to talk to anybody. I flipped the papers one by one and read through it in order to sign what is supposed to be signed. However, my eyes were literally just scanning through the documents but I wasn’t understanding any of it. Though I showed no reaction, I can feel her eyes are staring right through me. Her lingering presence in the room made me lose my focus.

“It’s already lunch time. You have to eat, even just a little. I brought your favorites.” Natalie said once more as she began to unlock the lunch boxes that she brought.

To be very honest, I missed her cooking. She’s been bringing lunch to me a few weeks back and I got used to eating with her in my office. However, after everything that has happened, looking at her disappoints me. And now, she’s talking there as if everything is just fine, like nothing even happened earlier.

“It’s not gonna be good if you get sick.” Natalie continued.

“I said no. Go home.” I replied and finally looked up, letting the papers lie on the table.

“Okay. We can eat later if you want to, I’m just gonna cover this all up. When you’re hungry, you can tell me. I can ask Terry to help me reheat the food.” She said and started covering the lunchboxes once more, packing it all up quickly.

Feeling annoyed, I checked my watch and decided to just leave my office and get away from her as far as I can. I got up and made my way past her but Natalie. Suddenly, just as I opened the door, I felt a hand slid unto my arm and so I stopped on my track. Looking to my side, Natalie’s smiling face made me froze for a while.

“I’m going to stay with you like this and be sticky like a gum on your shoe if possible until you change your mind and finally decide to eat lunch with me.” She declared and winked.

Sighing at her childishness, my other hand went right to my temple to massage it. This woman is really giving me a lot of headache today. So I shrugged and tried to remove her hands but her gripped tightened.

“Natalie.” I warned seriously.

“Yes, hubby?” She teased.

“I don’t have the time to play jokes with you.” I said softly as Terry’s attention is already on us.

“I’m not playing jokes. I’m serious. Lunchtime is for eating. I suggest you best play along or else Terry will wonder why you’re treating me so badly.” She dared.

I stared back at her with shock for her audacity. With a sigh, I looked away.

“Fine.” I finally said and she winked again.

***