How Deep is Your Love?

15 - Brian

My head felt like it will explode anytime soon. I immediately asked Melanie to get me an Advil to help ease the pain. I didn’t know what time I slept, I just knew that I definitely drank every bottle of whisky that I have stored in my room. I know I promised to avoid drinking and I did. I was doing great for past weeks until yesterday.

“Terry, was everything I asked you to ready for tonight’s dinner?” I asked, wanting to make sure that everything goes with the plan.

“Yes, sir. Weather report still says no rainfall, place and seats were reserved, bouquets on the way to be delivered here now, and the box that you’ve ordered in on your table.” Terry answered confidently.

“Great. Thanks.” I replied and was about to enter my office when I recalled something. “Terry, please let the maintenance recheck my car, make sure battery’s working fine and that there will be no problem.”

“Copy that, sir.” She responded and dialed something on the phone.

“And oh, Terry?” I called out once more making her excuse herself from the person on the other line.

“Yes, sir?”

“Please make sure there’s a big umbrella on my car. You can place it on the trunk or the back seat.” I answered and her brows creased.

“Big umbrella, sir?” She tried to make sure.

“Yes, please. Just make sure there’s an umbrella there. I just wanna make sure.” I commanded and she nodded before I entered my office.

I immediately removed my coat and placed it on the couch. I went to check the box on my table and I smiled when I opened it.

Hopefully, she’ll like it.

Geez, why am I suddenly nervous?

I shook my head and sighed. It’s only a few hours before my reservation and I still have to freshen up and go pick up Natalie from the mansion. I carefully placed the box on my coat as I put it back on. Making sure everything for work were all done, I closed my laptop and was about to walk out when my intercom rang.

“Terry.” I answered.

“Sir, someone on the lobby wishes to speak with you. And she’s making quite a scene, she said she wouldn’t stop if you wouldn’t see her.” Terry said a bit nervously.

“Who?” I asked curiously.

“Ms. Joanna, sir.” She replied. “Ms. Joanna Sandoval.”

Joanna?

I closed my eyes painfully upon hearing her name.

“Do I ask the security to get her out of the building, sir?” I heard Terry asked when I didn’t answer.

What the hell is she doing here?

After everything she did to me, why is she here to see me?

“Sir?” Terry asked hesitantly.

I sighed deeply as I opened my eyes. “Let her come see me.”

“Okay, sir.” She responded.

“And Terry? Please call Natalie and kindly tell her to just meet me directly there. Tell her the place and time.” I added.

“Yes, sir.”

Terry’s been my dad’s secretary and has been working here even before I took over. Thus, she knows who Joanna is and who she was to me. She’s one of the guests that day. I walked towards the glass window and stared at the darkening sky. Just by hearing Joanna’s name, everything that happen that day all came crashing back to me.

“Brian.” A soft, hesitant voice called out not too far from me and I immediately knew it was really her.

Joanna Sandoval, my ex-girlfriend, my ex-fiancé and my runaway bride.

“Brian.” She called out once more, a bit louder this time.

And so I turned around to face her. Looking at her from head to toe, she still hasn’t changed. She’s still as pretty as I remembered.

“Go straight to the point, Joanna. I’m quite busy.” I said seriously before motioning her to go and sit on the couch.

But instead of doing so, she ran towards me and immediately engulfed me with her warm embrace.

“I missed you, Brian. I missed you so much.” She croaked and I knew she was crying.

Her grip on my coat became tighter when I didn’t return her embrace.

“I’m sorry, Brian. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” Joanna continued and I just let her cry on my chest, hugging me tightly. “I know you’re still mad at me for what I did and I’m so sorry. You don’t know how guilty I am for doing that to you.”

I stayed in place and never spoke a word to her. After she calmed down, I asked Terry for some tea and then led Joanna to the couch and I sat on the chair across her. There was an awkward silence and it was only broken by Terry when she came to give up our tea.

“Brian. Talk to me. Please?” Joanna cooed as she wiped her tears and stared at me. “I’m so sorry for everything. I knew I hurt you. And that alone makes me feel so dirty. But please let me explain.”

“Don’t you think it’s 4 years too late for your explanation?” I blurted out, not able to control what I had to say any longer.

“Brian, I had my reasons back then.” Joanna answered and burst out crying.

“Reasons? What reasons?” I asked quite loudly. “You walked down the aisle, Joanna. And the you just suddenly ran away and disappeared. For years I waited for a letter, or a call or even a text message that has your explanation, your reason for running away. But it never came. And now you suddenly decided to show yourself to me and tell me you had your reasons for running away? For disappearing?”

“Yes, Brian. I wanna explain everything to you now. I didn’t really want to do that to you. I was also hurting when I did that.” She replied.

“Fine. Tell me. What reasons do you have?”

“I was sick back then, Brian. I had cancer.” She answered and I was stunned, shocked at her revelation.

“W-what?” I blurted out.

“I found out a month before our wedding that I had cancer. And the doctor didn’t know if I would still survive if I undergo the treatment.” She continued. “There was no assurance and so I thought that maybe it would be better for me not to marry you. Because I thought I was dying at that time. I didn’t know I’d survive.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, totally feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“You were different that time too, Brian. And I can’t find the right timing to tell you. I was a coward. And so I did what I did at the last minute.” She replied. “I’m so sorry.”

“You still should have told me.” I reiterated.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” Joanna said once more and came to me and hugged me. “I sorry, Brian. I’m back now. And I’m never leaving you again. I promise.”

I shook my head as I closed my eyes once more.

Why is everything becoming so complicated as soon as I thought everything is going all right?

I massaged my temple and tried to relax my mind from overthinking. That’s why I like drinking, it makes me temporarily forget everything and it pauses my mind from thinking too much.

Knock! Knock!

The door burst open and I saw my mom barging inside my room. “Brian, where’s Natalie?”

My brows immediately creased upon hearing her question and I was about to answer when mom’s expression changed and she gave me her disappointed look.

“You were drinking again???” Mom asked loudly and she painfully closed her eyes before looking at me. “Do you really want me dead, son? I thought we’ve already made an agreement about this? I thought you were already doing okay. Why are you back to drinking now???”

“Mom. Please. I just needed to temporarily get things off my mind.” I answered sadly and the way her expression changed, I’m sure she knows that I’m going through something.

“Oh my. Don’t tell me you and Natalie fought yesterday? Is that why she hasn’t gone home? That’s why you’re drinking?” Mom concluded and looked at me worriedly. “Did you two fight again?”

“W-what?” I blurted out. But I heard her quite well. Worry also enveloped me as my face creased in confusion. “No, we didn’t fight mom. I cancelled our dinner last minute because something came up and I thought she’s just here. What do you mean she hasn’t gone home? Where’s Natalie?”

“What?” Mom also asked loudly. “You cancelled your date last minute? What came up that is more important than Natalie? You stubborn boy!!! She was ready yesterday and I’m sure she drove to the restaurant in time!”

“What? When I called her, she said she was still home, mom!” I exclaimed, now completely sober and my hangover just went away like a blink. “And why did you let her drive alone. She’s not a very good driver!”

“Bernard unfortunately was running some errands and didn’t make it back in time and it was Carlito’s day off yesterday. She insisted that she can drive.” Mom explained, worry enveloped her face. “Oh, dear.”

“Sh*t!” I cursed and tried to dial her phone number but it just gives me a dial tone.

 Why is her phone always out of reach?

“Urgh!” I exclaimed my frustration and threw my phone to the bed.

“We rest early yesterday after eating the food you ordered for us because we thought you both were together. And this morning, we didn’t check her early because we’re not sure what time you came back last night. Brian, it’s already past 8 in the morning. Where do you think is Natalie?” Mom added worriedly. “Do you think we have to call the police now?”

“It’s not yet 24hrs since she’s gone so the police won’t start searching for her till then.” I replied and looked at my Mom in the eye. “Please go and rest. Don’t worry too much. I’ll find her as soon as possible. I promise, okay?”

“Please, son. And update me.” Mom said before I nodded at Melanie to assist mom and bring her to her room.

I immediately called Bernard and went to my study to track the car she used yesterday. Good thing, I had those trackers installed and so I’ll be able to check where it’ll be if ever it gets stolen. I didn’t mind what I look like now, I just wanted to know where the hell is Natalie.

Natz, why did you lie to me?

Where the hell are you?

***

“Yes. I found my car in the location of your shop and so I want to ask what my car is doing out there?” I asked as soon as someone from the car shop answered their phone.

My heart was constricting by the minute as I told them the plate number of the car Natalie used and verified my identity. Worry is surely evident in my face and Bernard, who is beside me, looked at me with fear. I might have radiated my frustration towards him.

I will never forgive myself if something bad happened to you, Natz.

So please. Please be fine.

I still don’t understand what the car is doing in the repair shop but I waited patiently on the line for answers.

“Sir?” The guy on the line asked.

“Yes, I’m still here.” I replied immediately.

“On our record, the car was actually towed and brought here for repair because the front part was crashed because on an accident in Reyes Boulevard last night…”

My heart sank as soon as I heard the word accident.

No.

“Where is she? Where’s the driver???” I demanded almost immediately.

“Maybe you can ask Precinct 8 in District 2 for the whereabouts of the accident sir. Or you can call this number. This was the number left by the guy who’s supposed to pick up the car once it’s done.” He said and gave me the number.

I said my thanks and immediately went to the garage.

“Sh*t!” I cursed as soon as I realized that I didn’t get my keys.

Walking back inside, I met Bernard who was running towards me with the keys.

“I’ll drive for you, sir. You’re not okay to drive at the moment.” He said and I nodded.

We head out of the mansion right away and I brushed my face with my hands. I felt like dying at the moment.

Please. Please. Please be okay, Natalie.

I’m coming for you.

Wait for me.

***