How Deep is Your Love?

13 - Natalie

“Good afternoon, ma’am Natalie!” Brian’s personal assistant greeted as I walked towards his office.

“Hi. Good afternoon, Terry.” I greeted back and smiled before showing the lunch box that I brought for him.

It has been that way for the past few days after that lunch out in the lake. And I don’t even know what we are to each other now. I mean, he replies to my text messages now and would call me from time to time asking where I am and what I’m doing. I’d also go to his office to bring him the lunch that I cooked for him and we’d go out to eat dinner when he gets home. As much as I don’t want to assume anything, my traitor heart gave in and enjoys every moment that we share together. He didn’t tell me anything and we never spoke about our feelings.

Is it really possible that he had a change of heart and now there’s a chance for us?

I mentally slap myself for thinking that way. Maybe he’s just being nice like he said he’d do since we’re already friends. And so I thought that maybe I’d just enjoy it while it lasts because I will be leaving this coming weekend anyway. Yes, I still need to leave…to protect my heart.

“Hi. Lunch delivery!” I greeted as I entered his office and fixed his lunch box on the table near the couch where I sat.

“Always the right timing. I’m famished.” He replied as he smiled at me.

Scribbling once more on his desk, he stood up and walked towards me. He briefly kissed my cheek before sitting down across me, excitedly looking at the food I brought him.

“Go ahead. Eat.” I said and he did. He dived into it and I felt happy looking at him munching on his food.

“Why you’re not eating?” He asked after swallowing a spoonful.

“Arya and Belle are in town. I’m gonna meet them up in an hour and we’d eat lunch somewhere. Then I’ll show them around.” I replied and his brows suddenly met. “Then we’ll probably end up till dinner together.”

“And Arya’s brother?” He asked seriously which made me chuckle a little.

Is he jealous?

“No brother. Besides Aciel’s busy with their company business too. So, just my girlfriends.” I answered and tried to suppress my smile.

“Good.” He muttered and continued eating. “Why’re they here anyway?”

“Visiting me since my visit to their town was short…because of someone.” I reiterated and he slightly pout.

“If you girls weren’t drinking till your wasted then there shouldn’t be a problem.” He reasoned.

“Tsk.” I uttered but smiled inwardly knowing that he cared enough to come all the way and get me.

“You should invite them to the island. You can all stay there this weekend.” He offered.

Mentioning the island brought me a flash of painful memories which I wish to forget.

I was so hungry when I woke up late the next morning. I’m sure it’s because I wasn’t able to eat anything last night. I just felt so hurt after hearing what Brian had to say and fell asleep crying. But then today is a new day and if Brian still hates my presence, then I’d do my best to avoid him instead. I carefully walked to the kitchen and took out some food from the fridge. I’m glad there is always food available in the fridge. I just placed something in my bowl and plan to go back to my room to eat, not wanting to make any noise. It’s been like this ever since we fought when he arrived the other day. I know that he’s been busy with work and I don’t want him to get stressed by me on his supposed vacation or break. And so even if I wanted to talk to him badly, I dare not to. I just secretly help out the caretakers in the kitchen for cooking our meals and I’m glad he liked it. Though he doesn’t know because if he knew, I’m sure he wouldn’t even touch the food. When I was walking to the stairs, I heard some laughter coming from the pool area outside. My heart raced rapidly having a weird feeling of de javu like this already happened before. Though my brain screamed loudly that I should just go upstairs that instant, my body traitorously walked towards the door which led to the pool. And yes, just like 4 years ago, I saw Brian smooching another girl at the corner of the pool.

Why?

Why does he always do this to me?

What did I ever do to be treated like this?

Brian saw me standing at the door and immediately broke their kiss which made the woman turn to me as well. Even though my eyesight were poor, I can definitely say that she’s the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on. All I wanted at that moment was to scream and get angry and curse them. However, like always, my mouth refused to say anything. I felt cheated and stepped on and my already shattered heart, shattered all the more.

“Natz…this is Joanna, my girlfriend.” Brian declared, placing his arm around her shoulders like there’s nothing wrong.

Girlfriend?

I knew he’s always involved with a lot of girls. But I have never ever heard him introduce someone to me or to anybody as his girlfriend.

But I’m his fiancé. I cried inwardly. I didn’t know how I reacted at that time, my mind totally went blank.

“Hi!” The girl waved at me sweetly.

I immediately turn my back on them and ran upstairs, completely ignoring both of them, not caring about what they’ll say or think. I just know that my heart is in unbearable pain right now and I don’t want them to see me breaking.

“Natz?” He called my attention and I shook my head. I shouldn’t be thinking about those things and end up crying in front of him just like what happened in the lake.

“I can’t.” I said and forced a smile. “Besides, I’m already leaving this weekend. Today’s Thursday and Dad expects me to be back by Saturday evening. That’s why my friends are here so we can spend more time together before I go back to LA.”

He became utterly quiet after that. He just continued to eat until he finished everything I brought him.

“Thanks for the food.” He said coldly and went back to his chair.

“Welcome.” I replied softly, wondering.

My forehead creased as I tried to remember what I said wrong because I knew very well that his mood changed. I just sighed as I fixed the lunch box.

“I’m leaving.” I said and smiled slightly, trying to lighten up the mood.

His face looked up right away after I said those words. His eyes somehow held something that I couldn’t really decipher.

“Arya and Belle should be on their way from the hotel to the restaurant now.” I added and he nodded in understanding.

Tsk. So moody. I thought. Then, I started walking towards the door.

“Natz…” He called out suddenly, making me abruptly stop and I turned to him.

“Hmm?”

“Clear you schedule tomorrow night. Let’s go out for dinner.” He said.

“But Tita Lorie and Tito Philip already wants to-“

“Have dinner with me. I have something to tell you.” He insisted, his gaze holding me.

“Alright.” I then said after a little while and nodded.

“Thanks.” He said and eventually smiled. “Send me a message when you get home later.”

“O-okay.” I said and smiled back.

***

“Blooming.” Arya commented as she looked at me with her teasing eyes.

“I’m not.” I said defensively which made her chuckle.

“I actually agree with Arya this time.” Belle seconded which made me blush profusely.

“Geez. Spill it out, girl. Did he already confess to you? Are you both like together now?” Arya excitedly asked.

“We’re just friends.” I replied and the girl sneered at me with squinted eyes.

“Don’t you dare deny it.” Arya pried further.

“I’m not denying anything.” I shrugged and leaned back on my chair. “There’s really no confession or anything like that. We haven’t even talked about our feelings. We just talked about random things whenever were together. And I’m just happy as to how we are now. Maybe that’s enough.”

“Hypocrite. Deep inside, you know you want more than being just friends.” Arya commented and I blushed knowing she’s right.

Even though he broke my heart a lot of times before, it still yearns for him. No matter how much I deny it and tell myself that I should have moved on already, I know very well that I haven’t. I can’t. I tried and I thought I succeeded but in reality, I failed. From within, my love for him was already deeply rooted and I don’t have any idea how deep it went. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to forget about my feelings no matter how hard I try. Maybe that’s why even if I wanna avoid him like a plague and be mad at him, I still managed to give him another chance so easily and be friends with him. Maybe that’s why even if he broke me a million times before I’m still here, secretly wanting us to be more than just friends. Maybe that’s why even if I know I’m gambling my heart once again, I still can’t help myself but give in.

“See? You still love him as much.” Arya added and I shrugged.

“What do I do? I can’t help it. I know I’m not supposed to expect or assume but my feelings betray me from time to time.” I replied. “And now that we got to spend more time together, I think I’ve fallen harder and though I didn’t want to, hope had already started to blossom in me.”

“And I think that hope will pay off.” Belle suddenly said and gave me a small smile. “I mean, he wouldn’t treat out in a romantic lakeside lunch and daily dinner dates and such if he has zero feelings for you, right? So I think that hope really has a chance.”

“I agree. Plus, you said he wanted to tell you something important tomorrow evening, right?” Arya asked and I nodded.

“That’s what he said so he wanted the two of us to have dinner.” I replied.

“My instinct says he’ll finally confess.” Arya said excitedly.

“I agree.” Belle seconded.

“I’m nervous and afraid and excited. But I still don’t want to majorly expect anything.” I said.

“Well, I can’t wait to hear about what he wanted to tell you.” Arya continued.

“Me too.” I answered and nervously sighed.

***