The Alpha Emperor’s Resurrection

21:Aurelia

I sat on one of the stone blocks in the ruined temple, and lit one of the clove cigarettes from the packet Robin had left behind, bringing it to my lips and closing my eyes to take a long drag.

It was stupid, but I missed him, and it was difficult to accept that things were over when I had been happier with him than I had been in a long time.

I thought the feeling I had - the premonition that flooded me with a feeling of love - had been for my parents. Now I thought I had given up the chance to feel that way again, and I regretted letting him go.

The cigarette was slapped from my hand, and my eyes shot open as I grabbed for whoever had done it, because there was no chance a human had managed to get close to me undetected.

"I haven't seen you for weeks and this is how you greet me," I locked eyes with my mother. I should have guessed it was her.

"I could say the same."

"It's a cigarette, are you really going to tear me apart for it?"

She shook her head and sat down on a stone slab opposite me.

After a minute of silence, it became clear she was waiting for me to say something to her.

"You don't have anything to tell me?"

"I have a lot to tell you, but I'm sure you're already aware of it. You've clearly been watching us, and I made enough attempts to tell you he's back that you are well aware of that."

"I know it's difficult to remember," she sighed, 'but I am your mother. I lived an entire life before you changed everything, Aurelia, and I raised you. You can talk to me."

"Talk to you?" I laughed dryly. "Talia, I couldn’t even get you to respond when the man you've loved for all these years is back. Do you think I should have messaged you because a potential relationship that lasted a fortnight didn't work out?"

"Do you think I came back now by chance?"

I stared down at my hands, and my stomach twisted and left me feeling too nauseated to look her in the eyes.

"I've been thinking…" I stumbled over my words, unsure of what she expected me to say. "I've been thinking about a lot of things, but I can't stop coming back to that deal you made. She asked you what you would give to bring Caius back, but you didn't tell me what you gave up for him - you disappeared, and I'm scared that you told her you would give up the life we have, because if you go, I'll have to spend the rest of my life without anyone who understands. It would be torture to lose you. Robin left me because he couldn't stand the thought of me forgetting about him one day, and I've been finding it harder to get over that than I expected. I know it's stupid but I think I'm heartbroken… and I know I'll move on, but right now I just want to lock myself away. I don't want to talk about it, and I know you probably don't think he's worth my time, but he made me happy."

"You never have liked to take your frustration out the easy way."

“And you have never liked to process your emotions in a healthy way. Shifting for a few days won't make this better,” I shrugged. “I was falling in love with him, but he's gone. I’ll move on in my own time.”

"When did he leave you, Aurelia?"

I shook my head at her.

"Three days ago - you definitely already knew that. It's not like I've been moping like this for weeks, I just need time. "

"You'll struggle to change form now - I assume you're aware of that."

I swallowed nervously and looked down at my lap.

It felt like she was going to tell me off, and I hated it.

"I'm upset, but if I feel a need to do things your way I'm more than capable of transforming. I don't think that's a good way of processing this, and this is why I don't bother asking you for motherly advice."

"He left you with more than cigarettes, Aurelia."

It took a moment for me to register what she was saying, and the thought hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it.

"You think I'm pregnant?"

"I think you might be," she shrugged, as if it was no big deal. "I assumed it wasn't possible for you, but there's something going on with you, and you'll know soon enough if you don't deal with it. I assume he had the same suspicion - he wouldn't have gone so suddenly if he wasn't bothered by something."

My chest tightened, and I felt a flash of anger at my mother for talking about Robin that way when she didn't even know him.

"He isn't like that," I snapped. "He wouldn't have left me if he thought I might be pregnant. You're being ridiculous about this and you're probably wrong, anyway."

"Perhaps," she sighed. "But if you feel like humoring me, I suggest we deal with this now before his sister figures it out and tells him."

I wanted to scream at her, but I couldn't do that with so many humans around, so I stood up and left her in the temple ruins.

She was probably angry at Caius for spending time with Saga when she still loved him, and I wasn't going to let her take that out on me - not when what she had suggested was something I had given up hope of when I was still young.

I knew my father was doing a good job of keeping Saga distracted - that was exactly why I had left - and it meant I could get hold of her phone when I got back to the Villa.

I used it to send Robin a message, without attracting Saga's attention; I wasn't sure what to say, and I hated being dishonest, but if he knew it was me…

My hands were trembling as I typed out the message, and I rewrote it about five times in an attempt to sound convincingly like Saga.

A lengthy monologue was trimmed down to a paragraph and, finally, the two words I sent.

Congrats, daddy

I hesitated for another moment, and my heart froze when I saw that he had seen the message.

He started to type and I sent him a string of crying-laughter emojis.

The typing stopped, and my stomach twisted for the few agonizing seconds before my own phone buzzed.

She doesn't use emojis.

Fuck. She was probably the most basic person I had ever met, but she didn't use f*****g emojis like a normal person her age.

He was typing again, and I clutched the phone tightly in my hands.

The typing stopped, and I was about to send a response when my phone started to ring.

I didn't answer it, because I was completely frozen, but he phoned again immediately and I managed to pick up the call.

"Are you sure?"

"I…" I couldn't say anything.

"Aurelia?"

"I've never been pregnant before, but I'm pretty sure."

I wasn't even remotely sure, but I hoped my mother was right, and I knew that there was something bothering me before she suggested it. I had assumed I was just struggling to deal with losing Robin.

"You…" he sighed audibly. "I don't know what to say."

Neither did I. I didn't know what to say, or feel, or believe, and the silence between us was becoming uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault this happened; you were trying to be responsible."

"I don't think blaming anybody is appropriate right now. If you are…" he sighed again. "Did you really think I wouldn't read a message from you? Or pick up the phone?"

"I don't know. I don't know what made me send that from your sister’s phone, to be honest."

That was a lie. Part of me was worried that my mother was right. I was expecting him to tell his sister to shut up about it when I sent the message.

"Do you want me to come back? I know you can't hold it off until I'm there, but I will look after you while you're healing."

He wasn't even considering the idea I might want to keep the baby, and my mother had been the same way. It made my throat constrict and the only response I could give was a high pitched whimper followed by a shaky breath.

"Can you get a hotel room for a few days? I'll send you my card details - find one of the nicer ones that uses words like escape and secluded. They usually have offers aimed at couples, we'll be able to spend a few days alone in comfort if you do that…" I sniffed, and he sighed deeply. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I'm sorry. If you think you'd feel better somewhere familiar that's understandable - I'll still come to make things easier, if you want me to."

I couldn't accept that it was a bad idea. It was easier to think my mother was mistaken.

"If I'm wrong…" I hesitated. "I don't want you to feel like I was trying to force you to come back. I'm not doing this for attention, but you had a right to know."