Gifts from My In-laws

Part 3. Plan

When my eyes start to well up, I let the tears flow. Being strong doesn't mean you can't cry. Crying doesn't mean you're weak either. We just need to measure the portion, choose the right time and place. Crying is my way of dissolving the lump in my chest with tears, then discarding it with every drop that falls.

***

I rode my automatic motorcycle towards the BTN housing complex located on Pinebrook street. A house that will one day be a palace for Emil and me. It's still hard to believe that I will become a single parent at such a young age, 22 years old. While other women are just beginning to form relationships at this age, I'm already unraveling mine.

I parked my motorcycle carelessly in the yard. There were several other motorcycles parked, also carelessly. I haven't set up a specific parking area for this house because I rarely stay here.

Thankfully, as a store, this house is never quiet. There are always buyers and resellers coming.

Inside the store, I saw Nadia serving customers browsing items. Meanwhile, Emma was packing orders for shipment, both for out-of-town shipments via courier services and local deliveries. For city deliveries, I hire someone familiar with the city's layout.

"Busy?" I asked them.

My two best people greeted me with bright smiles, explaining that today's sales were quite good.

"Here you go." I handed the order notes that came into my account to Emma. I had actually listed Nadia and Emma's contacts as admins for consumers who wanted to make purchases, but some felt comfortable with me, especially old customers, neighbors, or those who knew me in real life.

"Got it," she replied. After handing over the records, I moved to head to the room. There are two rooms in this house. One I use for personal use, a place to rest when Emil and I visit, and the other is used by Nur and Endang.

"Emil, do you want to come with mama or stay here?" I asked when the child seemed engrossed among the piles of goods.

"Stay here," he replied.

"Alright then. Take care," I said to my two friends. They nodded.

In the room, I sat on the bed, leaning against its headboard with my eyes closed. Repeatedly, I took a deep breath and exhaled again. Hoping that with each exhale, the burden pressing down would also come out. However, it wasn't that easy. My chest felt incredibly tight and painful. Anger, disappointment, and wounds firmly reigned in my soul, causing my hands to clench in an attempt to hold them back.

Finally, I got up and headed to the bathroom. I performed ablution, washing my body, soothing my wounded and aching heart.

I've grown accustomed to being alone. Since my mother left when I was a teenager, there has been no shoulder to lean on. No ears willing to listen.

I whispered all my sorrows to the earth, hoping they would reach the heavens.

When tears welled up in my eyes, I let them flow. Being strong doesn't mean you can't shed tears. Crying doesn't make you weak. We just need to find the right balance and choose the appropriate time and place. Crying is my way of dissolving the lump in my chest with tears, then discarding it with every drop that falls.

Because of that, crying is one of my ways to keep myself sane.

My mind drifted to the beginning of my meeting with Harry. A man who quickly decided to propose to me, I thought he truly held a million loves. It turned out I was merely a distraction.

I met Harry through a high school friend who worked as a clerk at the plantation where Harry worked. Just a month after meeting, Harry confidently proposed and took me back to Jasperville, introducing me to his parents.

With determination, he persuaded my mother, who was initially adamant in her refusal.

I was touched by his efforts. I felt very loved. Who would have thought that in his heart, there was no room for me? As the saying goes, the depth of the sea can be measured, but the heart of a person is unknowable. It turned out I was just an escape from his failed love. Not entirely someone who could divert his heart from the woman he loved.

Now, when Nika's household has fallen apart, he offers our household as a refuge by sidelining my existence. It hurts.

Before marriage, Harry lived in the plantation housing. At the beginning of our marriage, he moved his entire family to Mysthaven, claiming it was difficult for his father to find work in Jasperville. We bought a house by taking a bank loan. Harry knew about my online business, so he felt secure even though his salary was cut to pay the installments.

I have tried to be a good daughter-in-law. It didn't matter to me that his father never wanted to work, I willingly bore all the needs, including the tuition fees for their youngest daughter. I considered the presence of his father and mother as replacements for my parents who had passed away.

I took care of their needs, cooking their favorite meals, washing clothes, and cleaning the house to ensure their comfort. I did it not out of foolishness to be a maid in my own home, but with full awareness as a child's devotion. To them, I poured out the love that was lost.

I always believed that Mother's nagging and cynical nature was a sign of parental love for their child. Just like my own mother who often scolded me, not out of hatred but to educate.

However, it turns out I misjudged them. Apparently, there was truly no love for me. Their hearts were locked by dislike, so they were unwilling to accept anything I did.

I could accept all of Mother's cynical attitudes all this time, but bringing another woman into my household is intolerable. Especially since the way it was done was so painful.

Mother, who always idolizes titles, Harry who still remembers that woman despite my unwavering devotion, Nika who has no empathy as a fellow woman, and Father and Shane who also support them. They all consider my presence unimportant, so I'll fulfill their wishes and start a new life without them.

After the night prayer, I returned to Harry's house in Taleridge village. I had already taken care of all my needs and Emil's. Our stomachs were full, our bodies were clean. So, when I got home, I could put Emil to sleep right away, then fulfill Harry's wish to talk.

The front door was open when my motorcycle entered the yard. I immediately directed the motorcycle to the garage. From here, I heard the joyful laughter of that family from inside the house. Mother's laughter was free and happy. My heart ached again, she had never chatted so joyfully with me. I was always met with curt and cynical remarks. Despite my unwavering devotion, while that woman had already betrayed before the bond was even formed.

"That's why you should hurry and marry Harry." I heard Mother's voice. I don't know what their previous conversation was, but I heard the topic of marriage again. It made me sick.

"Yes, Ma'am. I also can't wait," replied the woman. I let out a bitter laugh. She really couldn't hold back. Wasn't she embarrassed to say that in front of him and his family? Didn't she feel any shame?

"I also don't want to be separated from Harry again. I promise to be faithful in accompanying him," she continued.

'Alright. Let's prove it,' I thought while adjusting the position of the motorcycle. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't hear the roar of my vehicle.

I carried Emil and walked slowly. Honestly, my curiosity about their conversation was still high.

"Thank you, dear." Harry's voice.

Oh... My hands clenched. My body shook with emotion. I felt that if I let it, my hands could lift the motorcycle I just rode and hurl it at Harry and the woman beside him.

But, patience ... Sapphire. I placed my hand on my chest, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. I repeated it until my hot head felt cool again from the flow of oxygen. I kept praying for forgiveness.

“You're welcome, Harry. I'm the one who should thank you for accepting me,” she replied, which sounded overly dramatic to me.

“No matter your condition, I will always accept you. I've been waiting for you to return all this time,” the man responded.

“Yie ... yie ....” Shane's voice was heard, followed by laughter from Mother and Father.

God is greater. My heart was truly on fire. I prayed for forgiveness again. Then I continued walking inside, unable to bear listening to their chatter any longer.

“Pease be upon you ,” I said after trying my best to calm my emotions. There was no answer. The cheerful laughter from all of them could still be heard.

“But what about Sapphire?” I could still hear the woman's voice as I walked.

“Oh, Sapphire's easy,” Mother replied dismissively.

“Yes, I'll talk to her later. She'll surely understand. You saw yourself earlier, didn't you? She was fine,” the man said.

“Yes, Nika. I'm fine. As long as Nika is okay, I'm easy,” I chimed in casually. All eyes in the room turned to me. The atmosphere suddenly became silent, as if they were quite surprised by my presence.

“You were so engrossed in your conversation that you didn't even hear me greet,” I continued. I gave a slight smile.

“Have you been here long, Sapphire?” Harry asked. His body language looked nervous.

“Quite a while,” I replied. I scanned their faces, which suddenly turned silent; none of them looked calm. It seemed they were worried I had overheard some of their conversations.

“I'll put Emil to sleep first, then we'll talk,” I continued, then walked towards the bedroom.

I laid my child down on the bed, then hugged him from the side. I whispered a bedtime prayer, giving him a kiss and a gentle caress. His eyes, already sleepy, fell asleep quickly.

After tidying up his pillow and blanket, I slipped off the bed. I proceeded to prepare the documents that Harry had given me all this time, putting them together in a large brown envelope to pass on to Nika.

I gave a cynical smile. This would be the best gift for them to start a new chapter.