AGAIN MY HEART: Her Alphas Regret

WRITTEN IN RED

LEILANI

“Mate?” I heard myself whimper like I’d been possessed.

I screamed at myself to get it together, but I wasn’t even sure what I needed to get together. Heat pulled in my lower stomach, and my knees trembled as my inner thighs flooded with slick.

Suddenly, I was hot all over, uncomfortable, and my clothes felt like pins on my body, the need to tear them off gnawing at me.

“Alpha,” I whined with need as my knees gave out and I fell face down on the bed. He hadn’t even touched me yet, but his presence and pheromones were enough to set me on fire.

His heavy footsteps shook the floor as he took further steps into the room. “Omega, present for your Alpha.” He commanded in a weirdly gentle tone, and it unlocked whatever invisible chain had me locked in place before, and my body moved like it had a mind of its own.

My dress came off without a hitch, along with my underwear. I scrambled to climb the bed, even though I didn’t understand his command, yet it seemed my body knew what to do. I lowered myself on all fours, then fell forward with my chest against the bed.

“Hands behind your back, Omega. Present that slick wetness for Your Alpha.”

I obeyed without protest, my legs trembling as I raised my ass in the air and spread my legs as far as I could so he could see the slick leaking out of me. Need curled in my lower region as I heard him grunt, and then the sound of his belt hitting the floor.

My body vibrated with anticipation, my legs shaking as every part of me yearned for his touch. I almost sighed in relief as I felt the mattress dip from his weight, his presence behind me as he shrouded me in his scent.

“You are MINE, Omega. MINE!” He growled as his hands came to my waist. I expected him to slam into me without mercy, and I braced for the pain.

The pain I braced for didn’t come. Instead, what I felt was weight, gently pressed against my back as he leaned into me. His chest rumbled with deep possessive growls, and I jolt electricity sparked through me as his lips trailed kisses down the side of my neck.

His hand moved to fondle my breast while his lips littered kisses all over my neck, my back. I swallowed, pleasure rolling through me from the contact, only to gasp as he slowly eased into me and heat engulfed me in flames. He grunted, lips to my ears as he eased in further. His pheromones thickened in the air the more connected we were, my head felt fuzzy, my body on fire, pleasure coiling deep in me. Aina purred the moment he fully seated himself inside me, while I whined, unable to help the moans spilling out of me from the way my mate’s body connected with mine.

I hummed a familiar tune to myself, one my foster Mum always sang to me while she was still alive. I never knew what the actual lyrics were, but on many occasions, she had used this particular tune to comfort me, either because I was bullied in school or someone in the pack said something demeaning.

It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since that moment in the palace guestrooms, and he just vanished into thin air. I had barely had time to collect myself that evening when he slipped out of the room without a word. Under any circumstance, perhaps I would say that moment was magical, because he had treated me with care. For a moment there, I was convinced that he had accepted the bond.

But I had returned home that night mentally drained, and head pounding because I kept trying to give meaning to what had happened. Aunt Nani, who had taken me in after my foster parents’ death, someone who only cared about herself, had taken one look at me and asked if I was okay, and all I could do was nod. Because what was I to say? None of it made any sense. He had humiliated me, yet he came to me, touched me like I was worth every moment, whispered kisses to my skin like I was something to be treasured, only for him to leave without a world and I haven’t seen him since.

I sighed heavily as I cleaned out the horse shed. Feeling pity for myself wasn’t going to change anything, would it? What was the point of wishing he had stayed to talk and not disappeared on me? If he wanted me, he would’ve stayed. The plan had always been to save enough so I could finally leave this god-forsaken pack and kingdom because they’ve never treated me like their own. Not even when my parents were alive.

For a moment there, I thought perhaps I had a reason to stay because fate had taken pity on me. I turned eighteen three days prior, even though I never once hoped for a mate, a part of me had felt the heavy dejection when three days went by, and that telltale sign of a mate somewhere hadn’t happened to me.

I’ve heard girls in the pack talk about how that tug you feel close to your heart as soon as you turn eighteen. They said the closer you get to your destined mate, the more erratic the gentle tug gets, until it becomes a thumping rhythm that has yearning for something you wished you’d always had. I didn’t feel any of that when I turned eighteen, saddening as it was, I had been quick to dash the thought. Until that day.

I shook my head as I finished with the first horseshed then moved to the next. The master of this manor allows me to work night shifts and pays me a tad above the minimum wage, which I’m grateful for. Being an outcast in this kingdom means I have no official documents that could get me better-paying jobs even as a secondary school graduate. But I’m grateful for small mercies like this.

I was cleaning the fifth shed when I heard the sound of footsteps approaching. I would wonder what the Master of the Manor was doing outside by this time of the night if not for the pull in my heart and the sweet scent of vanilla and bergamot that invaded my senses in rapid succession.

My hand movements came to a stop, my senses heightened as I became aware of the presence behind me and the dominating aura that began filling the room.

I couldn’t have conjured him out of thin air, right?

How did he find me?

The overwhelming need to turn and face him filled me again, but I was too afraid of what I would find if I faced him. The last time I did, we made eye contact, he had called me filthy and kicked me to the ground. What if he was here to finally sever the bond because he couldn’t that day?

Who would f**k their mate, take her virginity and leave her to tend to the mess, never saying a word to her for two weeks unless he hates her?

I should’ve known that what happened was a lapse in judgment, and of course, due to heightened pheromones.

My shoulders stiffened as I felt the brush of stubble against my neck. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you? You are in my every waking thought, every breath I take,” my mate murmured as he nuzzled my neck.

“Al—alpha,” I stuttered, feeling the rise of his lustful pheromones. He didn’t come all the way here just to f**k me again, did he?

“Shhh, let me take care of you,” he whispered, as his hands began exploring. “It’s as if you’ve charmed me, Omega. What have you done to me?” He pressed a kiss to my nape, and I shuddered, his pheromone filling my nose. I dragged in a ragged breath.

And there it was again, the slight spike in his pheromones and scent. I could still taste the sweetness of bergamot and vanilla, but there was something else, a hint of burnt iris. It was there that evening, too, the first time he took me.

“I—, I didn’t do anything, Alpha. We—we are mates, it has to…ngghh.” My words cut off with a moan as I felt his fingers slip inside me. “Alpha, I don’t think…”

“Shhhhh,” he whispered, one hand fondling my breasts as he kissed down my neckline.

He had disregarded my comments about us being mates, no other word said to me as he expertly replaced his fingers with his c**k, slipping inside me with a grunt.

Yet again, he f****d me against the horse shed with wanton need, and for the second time, I didn’t stop him. I gave in, my nerve endings coming to life, heart singing as every touch, every whispered breath from him lit my soul on fire, and I felt it again, the strings of bond pulling tighter together with every snap of his hips. And a part of me rejoiced that this could truly mean he wanted me, that perhaps this could mean something.

***

The third time my mate came to me, I was on a job in the capital. It was a shock to see him, and I had asked how he found me. He had grunted something about my scent calling to him before he slipped inside me behind the closed door of the changing room. Lady Malcolm had gotten a gig at The Dark Owl annual festival happening in the capital, and she needed helpers. I had registered my name without hesitating because this time the pay was three times what she would pay me on a regular cleaning job, and also because I needed to get away from my aunt's pestering gaze and mouth.

For some reason, I had started coming down with a fever, and I didn’t know why. Aunt Nani had noticed the way I kept chugging her cold medicine, and she’d started eying me warily. She never really cared if anything happened to me as long as I didn’t bring trouble to her doorstep, so her persistent gaze was off.

The sixth time he came to me, I had stopped wondering if he’d say more words than how much he loved my body, and how well I fit into his arms. I wanted more, and every time he appeared, every time he handled my body with so much tenderness, hope would come alight within me. And I had thought to myself, if I could keep him coming, perhaps this thing between us could become more.

But that was foolish thinking because two months passed and there was no sign of him. There was a part of me that made excuses, perhaps he was busy, her was the king, afterall. But I knew, deep down, that it was the end. After the first month of his absence, I had to swallow the hard truth. He had used me, and I let him because I was that desperate to belong, for a connection, to mean something to someone.

Several nights, I found myself curled up in my tiny bed, missing that wish I didn’t have the right to miss. I should have known better, shouldn’t I? But who could blame me for hoping, for wishing to be accepted and loved? It was painful, having to crush that hope, and starving off the part of me that kept wishing he’d show up.

The Alpha KIng ight be my mate, but he was never mine to claim. We were two worlds apart anyway. Having that clarity didn’t stop the truth from aching. As the days passed, I felt the strain on the mate bond. The silent despair in my heart, my wolf mourning something we never truly had to begin with.

As the days passed, that heartbreak turned into something else. A hollow feeling, a gaping wound in my heart that slowly made me lose the motivation to get out of the bird. I went from mourning the absense someone that was never mine to being sick and bedridden in a matter of weeks.

“Leilani!….!” Aunt Nina’s voice bellowed from downstairs, and I flinched from how loud and angry she sounded. “Leilani, get down here now!” She yelled again, and I scrambled out of bed with much difficulty, groaning and grunting as every joint in my body ached.

Aunt Nina had made me pay for the pack nurse to come check on me a few days ago, and he said he would come back with the result of what was wrong with me. It’s been four days, and there was…

“Leilani!!!” My aunt bellowed again, and I put more springs in my steps despite the protest from my body.

“I’m here, I’m…. Oh, Nurse Delvin,” I paused, noticing the pensive look on his face as I made it into the living room. My gaze panned to my aunt, and while I knew what she looked like angry, I wasn’t sure if that was all right now because she looked…. She looked murderous.

“Come here, Leila,” Aunt Nina beckoned, and for some reason, I felt a stone slide down my throat. She never calls me nicknames, never. We were not that close. My gaze panned to the pack nurse, and he seemed apologetic. “Come, child,” Aunt Nina called again.

I knew I couldn’t disobey her, so I dragged my heavy feet in her direction. I barely made it two steps away from her when a heavy slap smacked my face sideways, and I felt my vision blur for a split second.

“After everything I have done for you. You filthy, ungrateful rat.” She sneered as she pulled my hair and dragged me to the ground for a beating.