Actress' Crazy Twisted Life

Distracted

TORI’S POV

I felt really happy heading home that finally I got to see her and I just confirmed that she really looks like me. It’s just so cool!

It was insane to think that I look like she and I must probably see her again, that’s for sure.

I entered the house right after I arrived. It’s a bit late and my parents are probably asleep now.

“There you are”

I am surprised to hear mom’s voice speaks behind me. I thought she was already asleep but I was wrong.

“Mom! I thought you were already asleep?” I asked her in surprise. She smiled at me with that teasing look and I kind of understand what that look means.

“I know what you’re thinking mom,” I told her.

“Great! I don’t have to play pretend then. So, how’s the date?” she directly asked.

Mom really thought it was a date. I mean… she thought I really go out on with Caleb. I am sure she’ll freak out once she found out that I was really not with Caleb. She believes that roaming around the city alone especially since I am a public figure might be very risky.

“It… went well,” I told her so she wouldn’t try to dig in anymore.

“Okay. Nice to hear that. Go to your bed now” she said smiling.

*sigh*

Mom is really into Caleb! She’s too complacent with him for me and how I wish I can feel the same way for him but I can’t force it.

I went into my room, and do my skincare and since I couldn’t fall asleep, I decided to scroll on my phone and that’s when I saw Caleb’s messages right after I drop the call. His messages are asking about where I am and telling me to take care.

He never changed, very consistent from the beginning. Before sleeping I decided to text him back saying that I am home safe and thank him for covering me up.

…

Another day of work and I’ve been lacking sleep but I needed to wake up as early as I can so I can come to work on time. I don’t want to get yelled from my manager.

I drive to the set where we will be doing our shoots and I found Caleb there reading the script.

“I read your message. You’re awake until twelve? Such a lack of sleep” he told me after I was seated.

“Yeah” I simply utter without bothering to say anymore explanations.

I read on my script too as what we usually do before going in to shoot. Everyone is still working on the things needed on the set so we have the time to relax and review.

“Everyone, listen! Since Tori and Caleb are not here yesterday, we will be working double-time today, especially the two of you” the director pointed out to two of us leading us to throw a glance at each other like we have the same thing in mind.

“Okay. Everyone, prepare! Thirty minutes before the first scene!” the director shouted.

“Let’s get dressed,” Caleb told me. I just nodded and stood so I can change my dress for the role that I will be portraying.

After thirty minutes, we are already called to stand in front of the camera for the scene that we will be doing. Today’s scene will be the final parting ways of me and Caleb in this movie. This will be the last scene that we will be seen together in the same frame as we will be parting ways. My character is about to an end.

“One, two, three, action!!”

Caleb opens the door while I am standing still looking at him coming in. What I have to do is to finally let him go and let him go back to the girl that he’s married to, my best friend.

“Pam, I know that I have hurt you but… more than anyone we both hurt Audrey. I promised her that I will change and end things with you and that’s the only key she’ll forgive me. Pam, let’s end this mistake”

Caleb is all out giving his best for this last scene that we have. I am about to speak but I am mentally blocked like I suddenly forgot what I should say.

“CUT!”

“I’m sorry, I forgot my lines” I apologetically told the director and everyone around.

We continued on to the part where I have to speak for my lines.

“I guess we’re just a perfect mistake meant to meet but not to collide. It was hard to let you go but you’re right… we’ve hurt---”

“CUT!!”

I look at the director with a curious face.

“Tori, put more emotions! Again!”

They started rolling and I started to deliver again my lines putting some emotions into it as what the director said and thankfully, I passed it through.

Caleb, as part of his role, has to embrace me and I do the same until I saw myself in the mirror in front of me and I remember Andrea, who looks exactly like me.

“Tori! What’s happening to you? You seem distracted! You have to say your lines but you’re getting too long! Again!” the director yelled.

What’s happening to me? I was really distracted lately. This might be caused by stress plus thinking about Andrea and the lack of sleep.

“Try to feel the character! Think of every line personally. I can’t feel you!”

He yelled again after a failed attempt at crying while delivering my lines.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Again!!” it’s obvious that the director is getting impatient already and I started to panic that I can’t perform my role right.

“Just relax and think of your character. You can do it!” Caleb whispered to me. I took a sigh before acting up again. This is giving me too much pressure and all the attention is on me.

“Action!!”

“I guess this is goodbye, Andrew. The memories that we have will forever remain in me, will forever live with me. Thank you goodbye”

I look at the director to check for his reaction but he looks disappointed.

“You’re supposed to cry already! What are you doing? You are just narrating! Where’s the emotion?? If you can’t do your job well might as well leave and quit! Your mother must be very disappointed with you!” he told me pissed and disappointed.

I froze in my position as I heard that from him. I feel humiliated in an instant. All of their eyes are on me while I am slowly drowning in shame. Tears started falling down my eyes while I’m badly hurting inside.

“Don’t be too complacent that your mother is a promising actress, we will be giving you special treatment. That is not applicable here! If you want to be a good artist then you should do your role right. Your face is useless if you don’t know how to act!”

Swear my knees are trembling not anymore in shame but in anger. I feel so humiliated already that I have nothing left to face everyone. Suddenly I feel like all my confidence is gone.

“Be professional! Again!”

While my tears continue to fall, the shoot continued and since I am already crying, I don’t need to do an effort to do that now. I just need to deliver my line and successfully, I did… I guess I did.

“CUT!”

I don’t know if he’s satisfied with what I have done but I don’t anymore know.

“Everyone, take a break for a while!” everyone takes their break while I am trying to compose myself from that humiliation and headed off to the side to rest. I wipe out my tears and fix myself.

“Here” Caleb handed me his hanky so I accepted it and wipe my tears.

He quietly sat on my side watching me while fixing myself. I don’t know what’s on his mind but I don’t like him to pity me just because I was scolded.

“Don’t look at me like that” I coldly told him.

“You seem distracted. You have to keep your focus on your job and set aside what’s bothering you. If you keep acting like that, it will surely affect your career” Caleb stated.

I look at him and his serious reaction strikes me. He doesn’t pity me, he’s motivating me.

I took a sigh, “Okay” I replied.

We stayed in our position for a while and the next scene continued. I step in front of the camera, ready to do the next scene. I made sure that I clear my head first before doing the scene.

“Rolling… ACTION!!”

I rush getting into the room and the moment I get in I swipe all the things inside that crash on the floor. I am getting wild and uncontrolled, screaming, expressing all my frustrations about what I am doing until when I get tired, I just lay on the floor and keep on crying.

I feel relieved doing that. My anger suddenly released.

“CUT! Very good!”

When I heard the director shout, I stood and wipe my tears. Somehow, I felt like I retrieve myself from earlier.

I saw the director coming my way, “Very good, Tori. That’s what I am talking about” he said when he approached me.

I kept looking at him, “What I said, I didn’t mean all of that but I have to do that for you cry and give your all. If that’s what will make you cry, I have to do it and you actually nailed it” he said.

Those frustrations that I felt suddenly faded away in an instant.

“Thank you” I responded.

“See me after the shoot. I have to tell you,” he taps my shoulder and leaves.

There will be one more scene that I will attend where my character will finally come to an end. I rest on the side watching my co-actor do their roles.

What happened today will always mark my entire career. I have never been scolded as an actress because I usually flaunt every role that I have but this day is an eye-opener. Today means that I still have to learn more and improve myself to be a great actress and maybe it’s really a good idea to rest for a while after this movie so I can think and work on myself.

“You really prove them wrong,” Caleb said. We both giggle after his statement.

“Did I?” I jokingly asked, “Sure you did” he replied.

“Whatever that’s distracting you, I am sure it’s serious, or big?” he said.

I guess it is. I couldn’t even scratch her out of my head. I have so many things to ask her, tell her, and to do things with her.

“Guess I’m right”

I get back to my senses when Caleb spoke. I was staring at nowhere, I didn’t notice. I just look at him and give him a timid smile.

…

After the entire shoot for the day ends, I waited for the director for the important word he has to say to me. I am all packed up and off to go after I talked to the director. I am sure he’ll tell me something about my performance today, how I mess up and I am ready for critics anyway.

“Tori, did I make you wait for too long?” he asked.

“No. Not at all” I replied with assurance.

He took a sigh, and look around like he was not comfortable.

“Are you okay? What are the things you want to say?” I asked him.

“Can I ask you out tonight?”

Ask… WHAT??