MATED TO MYSELF-The Alpha I Hated Is Me

7: I'm Mated To Myself!?

Chapter 7

"Ara," Nathan called, and the sound of that nickname coming from his lips made me stumble backward so hard I almost tripped over my own feet.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, my throat had closed up completely and all I could do was stare at him kneeling there on the kitchen floor with pieces of broken plate scattered around him.

"Ara, it's me," Nathan said again.

"Kael?" I managed to whisper, even though I already knew the answer, even though every part of me was screaming that this was impossible.

"Yes, it's me. It's Kael," he said, and he was looking down at his hands now, turning them over and over like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What's happening? How did I end up here? I can see your face now, from the outside. I can actually see you with real eyes instead of just feeling you"

I couldn't move, my breathe seized.

My soull that had lived inside my head for fourteen years, was sitting in front of me in Nathan Pierce's body.

This wasn't real, this couldn't be real.

But then reality crashed back into me all at once and I straightened up so fast my vision went spotty.

"Nathan?" I said, looking around the kitchen like he might be standing somewhere else in the room. "Where's Nathan? What happened to him?"

Kael looked up at me and I could see confusion written all over Nathan's features.

It was so strange seeing Nathan's face make expressions I'd never seen before.

His eyebrows pulled together in that gentle way that I imagined Kael always did when he was thinking hard about something.

"I don't know," he said slowly. "All I remember is that when you threw the plate, something yanked me out of you It felt like being ripped away from everything I've ever known. And then suddenly I was here, in this body, looking at you from the outside."

"So what happened to Nathan?" I asked, and my voice was getting higher and more panicked with each word.

"Did he die? Is he dead? Oh god, did I kill him by throwing that stupid plate?"

Instead of answering, Kael stood up from the floor, he moved carefully like he wasn't used to having legs this long or arms this heavy, every movement was tentative and uncertain.

He took a step toward me and I held completely still, not sure what he was planning to do.

He raised his hand slowly, bringing it up toward my face, I watched his fingers get closer and closer until they were hovering just above my hair, he didn't touch me, he just held his hand there like he was afraid I might disappear if he made contact.

"I never knew I could see your face like this," he said, and his voice was filled with so much wonder it made my chest ache. "From the outside, I mean. You're so beautiful, Ara."

"Kael," I said, forcing something that was supposed to be a smile onto my face but probably looked more like a grimace.

My mind was spinning in a thousand different directions at once.

I should be happy, I should be thrilled that Kael was here in front of me, that I could finally see him and talk to him face to face instead of just hearing his voice in my head, this was something I'd dreamed about for years.

But what about Nathan? Where was he? Was his soul just gone? Had Kael somehow killed him by taking over his body?

I was still trying to sort through these thoughts when Kael's hand finally made contact with my hair, his fingers were gentle as they touched the strands and the moment his skin connected with mine, something exploded inside me.

"MATE!" Ivy's voice screamed in my head so loud I actually flinched.

She sounded frantic and desperate, like she'd been waiting her entire existence for this exact moment.

"THAT'S OUR MATE!"

My eyes went wide and snapped up to look at Kael's face. At Nathan's face, at whoever this was standing in front of me touching my hair like I was something precious.

The feeling washing over me was unmistakable, i'd heard other wolves describe it a hundred times.

The pull in your chest like an invisible rope tying you to another person, the overwhelming need to be close to them, to touch them, to never let them go, the certainty deep in your bones that this person was meant for you and you were meant for them.

THE MATE BOND!

I felt the bond, I felt it too..but this ? This didn't make any sense, rhis couldn't be right.

"You're beautiful, Ara," Kael said again, still running his fingers through my hair, he was smiling at me with Nathan's face and it was the softest, most genuine smile I'd ever seen on those features.

I clenched my fists so hard my nails dug into my palms hard enough to draw blood.

My eyes were burning and I knew they had to be turning red.

Ivy was trying to take over, trying to push forward and claim what she thought was ours, and I was using every ounce of strength I had to keep her locked down.

"That's our mate!" Ivy screamed again, even louder this time.

Her voice was rough and raw like she'd been holding back for years and couldn't contain it anymore.

"I can feel it! That's him! That's the one we've been waiting for!"

I opened my mouth but the only word that came out was, "Mate?"

It sounded like a question like I was asking for confirmation of something I already knew was true but didn't want to believe.

"Mate?" Kael repeated, tilting his head to the side, he looked genuinely confused, like the word meant nothing to him.

And that's when it hit me, the full impossibility of what was happening crashed down on my head like a ton of bricks.

How could I be mated to Kael? Kael was my wolf, kael was part of me. He'd lived inside my head since I was eight years old. How did it make any sense that I would have a mate bond with myself?

"That's our f*****g mate!" Ivy snarled, and she was pushing so hard against my control that my head started pounding.

"I don't care how it happened or why it doesn't make sense! That's him! I know it's him!"

"That's Kael!" I shouted back at her in my mind, not caring that I was probably making weird faces while I had this internal argument

"That's my soul! That's part of me! Does that make any sense to you?"

"Ara, what's happening?" Kael's voice cut through my mental screaming match with Ivy. He'd stepped back from me and his hand had dropped away from my hair.

He looked worried now, that gentle concern that was so purely Kael written all over Nathan's features.

I was breathing hard like I'd just run a marathon, my whole body felt like it was vibrating with energy I didn't know what to do with.

The mate bond was there, undeniable and overwhelming,.

"Do you feel anything?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound normal and failing completely. "When you touch me, do you feel anything weird?"