Loving my fake Husband

The Next Goal

❀ Clark ❀

The sun had started its slow descent over the fields which cast long shadows and almost seemed to bathe everything in that golden, syrupy light that even made the weeds look beautiful. The women were inside, sipping tea and eating cookies, I could hear their laughter floating out through the open kitchen windows. It was the kind of soft, domestic sound that felt too far away from the life I had been living lately. I sat on the back porch steps beside my Dad, and I took a slow sip of my beer. Camden was on kitchen duty – which I found rather funny. I glanced at my father and sighed softly. The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable, but it certainly felt heavier than usual.

“Your thoughts are pretty loud, son,” my father remarked.

“Really?” I shot back with a chuckle.

“You always had this way about you when you were overthinking things…” he remarked, and I shrugged. “It’s been too long since you have been home, son…why don’t you give me an update on what is happening in the city?”

“I had my office bathroom completely remodeled to fit a shower and a dressing room…I sleep on the couch in my office…I don’t…I hate being on my own at the apartment,” I word vomited as everything inside of me just came tumbling out. He raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t interrupt. “I’m so worried about the business falling apart that I insist on being at almost every meeting…and that’s just it…it’s always meetings, phone calls, deadlines, investors…it never seems to stop,”

“But something has changed,” he said, and I nodded. “Talk me through it,”

“I don’t know, Dad,” I admitted softly. “I don’t want…I don’t want to wake up alone every single day. I want…some adventure in my life. I want…friends…family,”

“Let me tell you a story, son,” he said as he leaned back and set his beer next to him. “When I first met your mother, I was smitten…but I didn’t have anything to offer her…so I got a job on this very farm,”

“I know the story, Dad,” I interrupted, and he shot me a warning look that had me shutting my mouth.

“I was only eighteen, but I worked from sunup to sundown…and every time I got paid, I put that money aside and I saved it. When I had enough, I finally approached your mother and asked her out on a date. We went to that drive-thru and we had the best first date. I felt like I had something to offer her, and our relationship blossomed. I kept working…I kept saving up money and eventually, I had enough to buy a ring, and I proposed. And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy…sometimes I wouldn’t see your mother for days…” I smiled as I listened to the story, I had heard all my life. “But I had certain goals I needed to reach. After I proposed, I knew I needed to pay for whatever dream wedding your mother wanted. I worked damn hard, but she got it all. And then we moved into her parent's place…that was the worst. So, I knew I had to save up for a house,”

“This house,”

“Not yet, son…when Jack suddenly died, I was so distraught. I wasn’t sure who else would hire me and treat me the way he had…and then for whatever reason, Jack had felt like I had been the son he never had and left me everything…it was a big turning point for your mother and me. We didn’t just get the house, we got the farm too…” his voice trailed off and I could see him reliving his past. “I kept on working so that we could turn Jack’s house into our house and then…well, son, then you came along, and I sold off a piece of land,”

“Right,” I said with a nod. “Because family is important,”

“Exactly, but I kept on working to provide for my family…and when Camden came along, I sold another piece of land,” my father glanced at me, and I smiled. “And when you went off to college, I sold off even more land because…well, you weren’t around to help me anymore and I wasn’t getting any younger,” I chuckled at that, and he smiled. “And when Camden went off to college, I sold what was left. All we had was the house and that suited us just fine,”

“What is the point of telling me this story again, Dad?” I asked curiously.

“The point is that I worked toward something, Clark. A date. A ring. A wedding. A child. Another child. A life. And when I hit those milestones, I adjusted. I made room for what came next. For what mattered most," he picked up his beer and took a long sip. “The thing is, you wanted to build a business, and you built an empire. You reached your goal, son…but now it’s time to figure out what comes next,”

“Right,” I agreed. "But what if I don’t know what comes next?" I then asked quietly.

"Then take the time to figure it out. Life isn’t just about the next deal. It’s about the people sitting across from you at the dinner table. The ones who laugh at your dumb jokes and ask how your day was," he said as he looked over his shoulder. "You have been chasing success so long, son, you forgot what it’s like to just be. To sit still. To enjoy," I swallowed hard. He was right. I had built an empire so tall that I couldn’t see the people standing at the base of it. And for what? I took a long sip of my beer, and the cool bitterness grounded me.

"I don’t know if I even remember how to take a break,” I admitted softly. Despite the past week of being absolutely lazy on Camden’s couch, I wasn’t sure what I was doing.

"Then that is where you start. Not with a business plan. Not with a five-year strategy. Start with rest. Start with family. Start with Sunday lunch," he suggested, and a lump formed in my throat. I nodded, suddenly unable to speak. We sat in silence for a while longer, while the sun dipped lower. And for the first time in years, I felt the urge to stop. To breathe. To live.

“Thanks, Dad,” I whispered, and he nodded. Eventually, he got up and went inside while I tried to figure out what the next step was. What the next goal was.

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