Thirty-Six: Prince Cadoc
1374 Words
Chapter Thirty-Six
Prince Cadoc
We stayed at the same place that I had stayed the summer that I’d slept with Penelope. It was the same room too, in The Black Lion. The night that it had happened, I’d been out of my mind. After helping withthe revolution in Coleum I’d had nightmares. I had carried a gun for a first time. It had been real, honest to goodness war. I’d not slept since that night.
I’d found this girl at the bar.
She’d been beautiful, with brown hair, and brown eyes. Her hair had been longer then, before she’d chopped it all off. She’d been as drunk as me, rambling about her boyfriend and how he was in love with her cousin.
I didn’t remember anything I’d said to her.
All I remembered was thinking that she was lovely, and as sad as me. I had taken her up to the room. It had been the two of us. She’d looked at me in such awe. Of course, if I had known that she was a virgin….
I would have been careful. I would have told her to go home. To go back to her boyfriend and forget all about me. But I didn’t know, and I had her, and now that I’ve had her I won’t ever let her go.
Even if we weren’t together, I would do whatever it took to make her mine.
Alone, in my room, I wondered if things would ever be okay with us. If we would ever be able to be together. Or if she would ever be able to forgive me. There was a knock on my door, and Arwen opened the door.
“Are you alright?”
I sat down on my bed. “I don’t know.”
“Have you talked with Penelope?” she asked, sitting on the bed next to me.
“I haven’t had a chance,” I confessed, “they’ve been keeping her under lock and key in the tower. I tried to convince Father. But he said that it was best to leave her alone until Lord Crowe signs her final adoption papers.”
“Are you sure she’s worth all this?” Arwen asked.
“Yes,” I said, without hesitation.
“You don't know each other. How do you know if she’s worth it?”
I hadn’t told Arwen about being Penelope’s first, but she had known about poetry girl. “It wasn't only about s*x with Penelope that night here, in Hay-on-wye. I took her virginity, Arwen. I was her first.”
Arwen stared at me. “Oh.”
“Oh is right,” I said, “and I know it’s very old fashioned of me, but that means something to me. In Coleum, they celebrate a girl’s first with an Awakening. And I know we’re not Coleum but being her first…. I don’t want anyone else to have her. She’s only going to be mine.”
Arwen’s face fell. “I wish I had someone that cared for me the way you care about her.”
My chest tightened. “Having second thoughts about Alexi?”
A small smile crossed her lips. “Alexi…. he’s complicated. Besides, there’s a good chance nothing might come from this courtship.”
“Why? Because if it’s something to do with you, that’s insane.”
“Nothing to do with me,” she said, “there’s a governess. His young sisters.”
“Ah,” I said, “there’s always a governess. Or an au pair. Must be something in the water, then.”
“Must be,” she said, “I’ve given him a year to win her over. If he can’t, then he’s agreed to go through with the engagement.”
“What about you?” I asked.
“What about me?” she blushed.
“You’re in love with Jasper,” I said, “I’m not blind, Arwen. I know something happened between the two of you.”
Arwen coughed. “Cadoc, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“All wrong how?”
She sighed. “Jasper’s been covering for me.”
“Covering for you how?”
She bit her lip. “The thing about being a Princess is, no one ever lets you be your own person. Everyone sees you as this…this little doll, to be on display, to represent the crown. No one cares about your thoughts or feelings or your actions. If they did, it would be me who was going to be Queen, and….”
I sighed. This had long been an issue for my sister. Arwen was the oldest in our family, but because of the antiquated laws she couldn’t inherit. Arwen was already of age, at eighteen. If it hadn’t been for me, for the rules of the crown, she would have been next in line. I was the younger brother, and I had more authority than her.
“Arwen, you know if I could change things I would.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s alright. I’ve long ago accepted that I won’t be Queen, and that’s fine, but…. I wanted something for myself. Someone for myself. So, last summer….I slept with someone.”
“Jasper?” I said.
She laughed. “No, not Jasper. He’s like a brother to me. It could never be Jasper. But Jasper did find out about it, and he has been covering for me.”
“Thank Christ.”
Arwen raised an eyebrow. “You alright?”
“I’m fine, but I’ve been wondering if I was going to have to punch him at some point. I didn’t want to do that. He’s terrifying.”
“Well, it wasn’t Jasper. It was Andrew Addington.”
I stared at her; certain that I’d heard wrong. “Andrew Addington?”
Arwen winced. “Don’t say his name like that.”
“Arwen, he’s an arsehole. Of the worst kind. You can do better than Andrew Addington.”
“Someone would have to give me the time of day first, and no one will. Because all they see is the Princess. They’re all too scared to even go near me. Andrew wasn’t. In fact, Andrew doesn’t even care that I’m a Princess.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s all he cares about,” I said, “Christ, I should lock him in a tower.”
She grabbed my hand. “Don’t, please. Besides, it doesn’t matter. Once I realized I was getting married off, I stopped everything with him. That’s why he’s been such an ass. Because I called things off.”
“Well, I must say I’m relieved,” I said. "Because I thought I was going to have to give the best man’s speech at his wedding to Jasper. And I can’t stand the prick. Also, he’s not good enough for Jasper. Or you. Arwen---”
She grabbed my hand. “I don’t need a lecture, little brother. But I needed to tell you the truth.”
I sighed. “Alright. I suppose I can understand that.”
I squeezed her hand in mine. “You’ll find someone, Arwen. I know that you will.”
“Thank you,” she said, “now come on. We’ve a funeral to get to.”
- Writer
