Escaping and Finding My Salvation

Finding My Place

Ann Marie

Someone tapped my shoulder, and my eyes popped open. Mitzy was smiling down at me. Her red hair was tied back, and she wore a gray T-shirt and black leggings.

“Hey. Martha needs help with bread making. We do it for the single men and our house.”

“Okay, give me ten.”

She nodded. I grabbed my pack and took out my toothbrush and toothpaste. I also grabbed my brush. I went to the community bathroom and took care of business. I dressed in jean shorts and a red T-shirt. I slipped on my old tennis shoes and headed back to the house. I put my stuff away and turned towards the kitchen. The whole place was one big room. Six twin beds lined one side, with a queen bed at the end. That was Martha’s bed. In the middle of the room, a long table sat with benches on each side and a chair at the head for Martha. Then there was the big kitchen, and off to the right of that was a sitting area in front of a big fireplace.

Someone tapped on my shoulder. I smiled at Tanya. She held up her board.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“I did, thank you for asking. Are you helping with the bread too?” She nodded, and we walked to the kitchen together.

Martha handed me an apron. She pointed to one of the bowls with dough that had already risen. I grabbed the bowl and joined Eden and Allie in the middle. Eden showed me how to knead the dough, and Allie showed me how to cut it and shape it into the bread pans. Mitzy was putting them in one of the three ovens.

The girls chatted about a broken fence on the south side and whether the jalapeños would be ready to harvest.

“You’re doing great, Ann Marie,” Mitzy said. “Definitely better than Sanny did her first week here.”

“Ugh, I was a disaster. I totally over-kneaded the dough. I’m still not the greatest at it.”

“You have other strengths,” Bethany said, giggling.

We worked for a couple of hours. About fifty bread pans were waiting to bake, and ten were in the ovens. A knock came, and Martha answered it.

“Debra, we have your six bread pans ready to bake,” she said to a woman who came in with three sacks.

“Wonderful. I have the potatoes and the onions.”

“This is how we get our food and other things we need,” Sammy said. “We trade with other houses. Debra always has an abundance of potatoes and onions in her house garden. She has an exceptional green thumb. In exchange, we make her weekly bread pans for her household. She has two little boys and is married to Travis. He is a hunter.”

Debra wasn’t the only person to show up. A woman named Ethel brought fabric for two pans. Another one brought bars of soap for three pans. I found this all fascinating.

Mitzy pulled out a tray of cooked bread and cut a small slice.

“Here, taste it.”

I took a bite and moaned. “This is fantastic.”

“Martha has magic hands when it comes to baking. Put some homemade butter and strawberry jam on it.”

I did, and I moaned again. The bread was even better.

“We do this every two days. You can help with this or stick with gardening, checking the snares, or mending. Up to you,” Mitzy said.

“I’d like to do it all. I can help wherever I'm needed. I’d also like to help repair things. I’m good with a hammer.”

“Oh, a Jack of all trades, or is that Jill of all trades?”

I laughed. “I don’t know.”

“Me either. That’s fine then. Hands are needed in many places.”

I went outside after cleaning up. Sammy and Tanya were mending clothes. I sat next to Tanya, and she showed me how to mend a holey sock.

I helped mend the clothes for a while. Some men came over and dropped off more. They smiled and said hello. I did the same back. No introductions were made.

Mitzy came over and asked if I wanted to help check the traps later, and I nodded.

After mending, I helped Eden and Allie pull weeds in the garden. I was really liking all this. I don’t know if it was just because it was new or because I missed being around people, especially women my age, that I could talk to and get along with. It was probably a little bit of both.

“Hey Sammy, there’s a supply run being planned for the end of the week. Can you please ask all the girls if they need anything and make a list? I need tampons,” I heard Mitzy call out.

“Got it,” Sammy said. “Ladies, did you hear Mitz?”

“I think everyone did,” Allie giggled.

“Need anything?”

I looked at Sammy and thought. “I could also use some tampons, more hair ties, and deodorant.”

She nodded and wrote it down. Allie and Eden both gave her a list to write down, then she walked off.

“Water girls?” Bethany asked, coming over to us with a pitcher of ice water and three glasses.

“God yes, thank you,” I said. I downed two glasses.

“Ann Marie, are you ready to check snares?” Mitzy asked, walking up to us.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

She handed me an empty burlap bag, and I followed her after telling Eden, Allie, and Bethany I’d see them later. Mitzy and I didn’t talk. We were comfortable in our own silence as we walked. The first snare we came to was empty. The second one had a rabbit. Mitzy showed me how to reset it. The next snare had another rabbit, and I reset that one. Mitzy nodded with approval.

“You’re doing good here. I know it’s only been a couple of days, but you jumped right in. The girls and I have noticed. So has Martha. You’re a great addition to the commune, Ann Marie.”

I beamed at her. “Thank you, Mitzy.”

Weeks went by. I found my place in the commune. People waved at me. They’re starting to recognize my face more and more. One day, most of the men went out hunting for the fall festival coming up in a few weeks. It was apparently a big deal. I was going to help Martha make apple cider. I was hauling a basket of apples to the single women’s place when I heard someone call my name.

“Ann Marie?”

“Yes, Mrs. Potts?”

“I was wondering if you knew anything about fixing a step. I have a loose board on my porch stairs, and I’m afraid I’m going to fall through it one day.”

“Let me take a look.”

I put the apples on the kitchen counter and told Bethany and Martha I was going to help Mrs. Potts with her step.

“With her step?” Martha asked.

“When I lived in California. One of my high school classes was woodworking. I took it all four years. I’ve made shelves, a bedside table, a cutting board with a burnt image, and a small cabinet with a top drawer. I’m sure I could fix a front step.”

“Okay, there are tools in the community shed.”

I nodded, went to the shed, and got what I thought I would need. I walked over to Mrs. Potts and looked at her front steps. The board was definitely warped and a hazard. I ripped it out, measured, and found a piece of suitable wood. I measured again, cut it, and sanded it. Then I took the new step to Mrs. Potts’ porch. I glued it, then nailed it in. When I was finished, I knocked on it.

“It’s solid now, Mrs. Potts,” I said cheerily.

While I worked, Mrs. Potts made cookies and brought me out a container as a thank-you.

“Chocolate chip. Thank you so much, Ann Marie. It’s good to know that if the men aren’t around, we have a woman who knows what she’s doing with a hammer.”

I laughed and took the cookies. After that day, word spread that I could repair things. Martha talked to Carl, the commune's master furniture builder and repairer, and he took me under his wing. Carl let it out that I could make tables and cabinets. The community went wild. I was now known as the woman who could make furniture, which wasn't true. But the people didn’t care. New tools arrived, and requests started coming in. Luckily, they were small things. Mostly tables and cabinets. I was so happy to have found a place where I could use my talent to help the commune. Life was great.