Betrayed by the Beta, Loved by the Alpha

20. Panic

Eden’s pov:

Hunter wasn’t making much sense, and truth be told, I didn’t even know what I should tell him.

Basking in his soft attention, I found myself completely fascinated by my future Alpha, the man whom I shouldn’t be fantasizing about… And yet, Peter’s words were all too fresh in my mind.

If Hunter already had someone in his heart, why would he come after me? It didn’t make sense… And I wasn’t even the prettiest she-wolf around. I rarely ever put on make-up, and my outfits consisted mainly of jeans and T-shirts. With his looks, his power, and status, he could have anyone he fancied.

He could go after anyone.

And yet, even as the thought crossed my mind, something within me rejected the idea, recoiling.

“You’re lost in your own head, little wolf,” his voice made me snap back to reality, and I realized he had moved to stand in front of me once more.

“I’m sorry,” I flashed him a sheepish smile, not quite sure what to tell him still.

“No answer?” His eyebrow twitching was the only indication of his growing impatience.

For a split-second, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was but some part of some plan, some bet… As appalling as it was, the thought made more sense than Hunter genuinely caring about me – or even wanting me. To my defensive mind – I had already suffered from enough betrayal as it was – there was 0 possibility that this was a genuine offer.

And yet, his stare made me squirm, and not just out of pure unadulterated desire, mind you. He made me want to talk, and bare my heart to him.

“I don’t know, Hunter,” I began, heaving a sigh discreetly, averting my gaze because I couldn't bear the intensity of his hazel eyes. “I don’t know what to think. And I am not sure it’s wise to go through with anything right now, everything considered. You’re going to have to take over the pack soon, and everyone will be expecting to see your Luna by your side, not some defect… You must have someone you care about already. Right? Hell, am I even your type?”

I was saying whatever went through my head, not necessarily in the correct order my thoughts should be voiced out in.

I realized a moment too late that I was making a fool of myself.

Oh, ground, open up and swallow me whole! How could I fail to express my own feelings in such a calm and comfortable setting?

Would he think any less of me?

Many scenarios crossed my mind, even as my heart tried to reach some new record, and my breathing became labored.

Hunter’s hand came to caress my cheek ever so softly, grounding me, and sending delicious shock waves through me… Also, instinctively, my gaze snapped up to meet his.

“Breathe,” he urged me in a soft tone of voice. “In and out. In. Out. Just like that. You’re doing a great job. Once more, little wolf. In and out.”

Where did this mini panic attack come from? I wondered inwardly, hating myself for my vulnerability. I couldn’t believe how a few words from him were enough to send me into such a state.

“I didn’t mean to rush you,” he let out after a beat, both sounding and looking a little bit dejected.

To my ears, it almost rang like an apology… But what was he apologizing for, really?

“It’s just that…” I dampened my lips, ready to put myself out there.

I did trust him after all – more than enough, and probably more than I should too.

“I think I already got my answer,” his scoff was self-deprecating at best, and almost painful to listen to.

“I didn’t…” I argued, only for him to place his left index across my lips.

“Don’t force yourself,” he shook his head negatively. “You’re not ready to hear these words, not from me anyway… I can take a hint, Eden. I’m not the one you want.”

Panic seized me at once, as I could virtually see his walls rise.

Acting rashly, because I felt like something precious was slipping away, out of reach, I opened my mouth ever so slightly, and licked his finger tentatively.

“What are you doing?” He groaned, his eyes darkening visibly, as I licked it with more fervor. “You’re playing with fire. Stop messing around, Eden.”

Grabbing his hand, I placed it against my cheek, and leaned into the touch, “Does it look like I am messing around, Hunter?”

“Eden, you don’t…”

“Eden this, Eden that,” I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s little wolf to you, mister.”

I didn’t know what got into me, and what kind of bold and temptress of a woman replaced my usual personality… but I wasn’t sure I hated it.

Sure, I might never get to claim him and call him mine.

But this moment, right here, right now, was ours. I could delude myself into thinking he cared about me. I could almost pray for a happy ending, where I wouldn’t end up with a broken heart.

“What are you asking for, little wolf?”

His gruff voice was more beast than human, and I absolutely loved the effect I had on him.

“Not asking for anything,” I stuck my tongue out playfully. “I am just giving you my answer.”

“And what answer would that be?” He pressed on.

I blushed ever so slightly, both loving the authority dripping off his every word, and hating how flustered they made me.

“Yes, I’ll be yours,” I breathed out.

I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing to. I didn’t know if I was making the right call or not… All I knew was that I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his hazel eyes. I wanted the fire, and I wanted to burn.

“You sure?” He asked, gulping down noisily.

“Yes,” I nodded at him, “but on my terms.”

“Let’s hear them.”