Having joint custody of a young child was exhausting. We weren't obligated by court order to give Gwendolyn any time, but Legend loved her, and it gave me an excuse to spend time with her out of perceived obligation. I didn't have to admit I was anxious to get to know her or that I had questions. I didn't have to tell her I'd done nothing besides think about all the ways I'd missed out over the years. I got to use Legend as an excuse to have lunch with her during an exchange or walk on the beach while he played in the waves, or sit on a park bench when he climbed on a jungle gym like a monkey. And each opportunity opened the door to a relationship I'd never imagined I'd have, much less crave. Day by day, I realized what I would have missed out on had I not given her the chance. And I tried
