DESIRE'S & FATE

Chapter *7*

Sibel Pov

"Busy?"

"Hi mama," I opened my eyes and peek out from under the covers to mom leaning against my ajar door.

"For you... never mommy," I looked up at her with a sad smile.

"Good, I'm taking you out to lunch, your sisters too," she smiled and reached into the room sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Rain cheque please," I said and moved to sit up with her, one foot tucked under me.

"For me sweetheart," she touched my cheek and tilt my head and I nodded. who can say no to that face?

"Sure," I smiled.

"You know honey you're the only daughter I have that wears her heart on her sleeve. I've been watching you for the past two weeks belle. You're not yourself and I want you to know you can tell me, we can talk even if it's about boys." she said.

"There's nothing to tell," I said looking her in the eyes and she smiled.

"I know the normal thing to do is to wait until you're ready to talk to me but I can't stand seeing you walk around here as if someone died, anymore."

I sighed, knowing she knows me well enough, and with the way I crawled in here two weeks ago she's not going to let me off with a simple lunch date. "I'm sure you can wait until I'm ready to talk," I said.

"That would be the likely thing to do but today is not that type of day. I'm tired of seeing you moped around here," she said.

"It's nothing really, school is hectic and I needed a slow break."

"That's not the answer written on your face," damn the woman is a tough cookie. "You're a shell, so that tells me it's a boy. You have dark circles around your eyes, you've barely eaten since you've been home and everyone knows you're never productive until your plate is cleaned, twice. So spill it."

I sighed.

"So, you see it can't wait," mom said.

"Okay, okay, you know me too well," I looked down at my fingers toying with the hem of my PJ.

Mom gently placed her hand over mine and rubbed soothingly over my knuckles until she took both hands in hers. The gesture was so soft and sweet, I burst out crying. Full ugly cry.

"Oh come here baby," she took me in her arms and wipe my tears away, then she rubbed soothingly over my back to comfort me. "What is it belle?" she asked and I remember when she told me I reminded her of princess belle, no matter what there was this prince, blemished and flawed but in exchange for something greater she gradually learned to love despite what she perceives his outwards to be. I was seventeen years old when she said those words and although I watched that movie a thousand-plus times when I was a child I didn't understand a word of what she said.

I finally settled down, wiping the tears from my eyes and blowing my nose harshly in the kleenex she grabbed from the bedside cupboard.

"You alright now?" she chuckled and I leaned over to throw the tissue in the pile with the others. "Much better," I smiled meekly.

"See nothing like a good cry on your mother's shoulder," she said and we burst out laughing. "I love you, mom," I whispered. "I love you too baby, my belle."

Polleen Benjamin is a great woman and an even better mom. She never made me feel boxed in or like I couldn't talk to her at any given time it was this way since I was a child. I also knew I was going to tell her everything because she was the only person who would truly understand.

"I kinda hooked up with Ryon."

"What do you mean kinda hooked up," she asked.

"Mom," I whined.

"You slept with the guy," she asked.

'No, no I did not."

"Explain?" she asked puzzled. "You young people be giving me migraines," she said.

"Jeez, mom," I drawled.

"You slept with the boy," she said head tilt looking at me. "What were you thinking?"

"Mom, I said kinda hooked up. I said nothing about sleeping with the boy."

"Thank the lord," she sighed in relief. "I've known for a while that you liked that Menture boy. Everyone sees it except I don't think you see he likes you back."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Just because I didn’t say anything it doesn't mean I couldn't see. What scared me was that boy has been coming around since he was a kid. At first, I didn't know which one of my girls he was after then your father was so protective of you girls and your sisters used him like a crouch."

"What?" I snickered.

Is that what he meant when he said he'd never slept with my sisters?

"I saw firsthand what was happening I wasn't blind but I wanted you girls to live, I never had that chance. I measly survived until I met your father. I was a slave in my father's home after his passing and I felt like I'd missed out on life– on living, on being a social person, on being myself. By all means, I don't mean sleeping around but doing dates, exploring, traveling, meeting new people, and falling in love over and over again until it's right for you," she smiled.

"Mom," I wipe the tears from her eyes knowing how she struggled with her past. "Err, I might have done the opposite... I think I was, uh, was the one who pushed him."

"You did, my sly fox," she laughed.

"You know... he wasn't moving at all," I frown. "Even when I made it easy for him."

"And now it's killing you, why?"

"Yes," I shrugged."I told him I'm done two weeks ago."

"I see, now you want him back and you can't stop yourself from thinking about him. Somehow you were hoping he would run into your arms again and everything would be like a movie."

"Would that be so bad? What am I going to do mom?" I whined.

"You're in love with the moran." mom murmured.

"Well, I know that much. I've been for a while now. So what do I do," I groaned.

"It's a must you let the man chaste you Sibel and you let him belle. Don't put the bait right in the man's hands. I know your heart wants what it wants right about now but never take the chaste away from the man it's what they do best and make sure you challenged him the entire way," she said looking at me.

"I have to, don't I," I said.

"It's a must," mom said.

"Come, let's go to lunch now."

"I don't think I can eat," I take in a deep breath.

"You'll be alright, I made these shoulders tough," she smiled and came around me and squeezed on both shoulders taking the weight off.

She gets up and walked to the door, "take a bath, and dressed nicely. We leave at," she looked at her wrist. "We leave at one," she said and I nod.

I groaned and throw back in bed.

________

He did not sleep with my sister? I saw them holding hands, laughing and playing with each other, many nights I cried myself to sleep, I mean I should be happy, I should be screaming to God right now but the darkness that was threatening to swallow me whole felt so ridiculous right now. I hadn't given him a chance. And why should I when I know Ryon Menture? All those women are what scared me the shitless.

It was now Saturday night and I was still wallowing in my misery but I moved back to my dorm this morning after the best afternoon with my sisters and mom. Mom pushed me out of the bubble I was in and after a long hot shower, I can now relax alone with Keyana gone for the weekend.

I relished in the quiet tranquility of our off-campus dorm and I was going to miss it within a few months of graduation. I flipped the pages of my book 'A Billionaires Devotion' when I heard the doorbell ring.

I was still in my robe. who could be disturbing my peace at this time of the night? I groaned and get up when the bell rang again. "Okay, okay I'm coming."

I looked through the peek hole and immediately my heartbeat sped up. He was at my door two weeks after that night in his truck and I knew I had to face him, I knew we needed to talk but the heated ache brewing in my body and the way my heart pounded out of control. I wanted him bad.

Damn it, I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. How can Ryon Menture always affect me this way? Deep breaths Sibel, breathe. "pull yourself together woman for Christ's sake." I warned.

A little conversation wouldn't hurt, a few words and he'd be gone. I looked down at my robe and adjust the knot one last time. I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath, I opened the door.

"Ryon," before I can complete my sentence, he took me in his arms and his mouth covered mine before I could react. My body was a traitor. God I couldn't wait for him to kiss me again, I felt so much pleasure and pain it was incredulous. When his tongue glided into my mouth, he sucked on mine hard and flicked his tongue over the roof of my mouth. I couldn't think beyond the way he was kissing me, he sucked on my top lip, he sucked on my tongue, he sucked on my bottom lip, he sucked on my tongue again and again then flicked the roof of my mouth and I was breathless.

Oh God, I will go up in flames with the heat in my body melting me to my core. I moaned and he groaned totally aroused.

He pulled at one side of my collar and dropped kiss after kiss down my throat then tiny bites up my jawline down to my neck and exposed shoulder and my body begged for more.

You shouldn't do this, the very tiny voice of reasoning inside the back of my head said to be careful but I didn't know how to stop when a lusty moan tore out my throat.

"Ryon..." my voice trailed off into a moan when he pressed his mouth and sucked onto that throbbing pulse on my neck. "f*****g hell." I was a quivering mess and he rubbed his hard length against my belly. His mouth closed over mine again and again. my resistance and anger fell to his touch, fell to his kiss, fell to his embrace, fell to his control and I trembled with needs and could barely breathe.

My body shuddered with need as his lips were now soft and sweet against mine and he kissed me senseless. This sensational feeling he always drives into my body and makes everything slide away was driving me insane with arousal.

Ryon slipped his thigh between mine in a lustful, sexually unrestrained way. I pressed against him wantonly and rocked against that thigh. I was lost and it was maddening.

"Oh God," I whispered and he let out such a goan I shivered. He continued to suck and kissed my skin and moved his hand to my arse and pressed me into him tighter.

Oh God, I almost washed away if wasn't for his strong arms holding me firmly to his body when his fingers parted my fold and entered me. He stroked and glided his thumb over my nub and my head fell back.

I whimpered and wavered and vibrated against him until I unraveled around his fingers breathing harshly. The pleasure was vicious, tightening in the pit of my stomach and barrelling through me so intensely.

I leaned my head against his chest in mortification as he withdrew his fingers. He lifted my head and gently placed his lips against mine.

"I've tried, God knows I've tried to stay away from you Sibel," he breathes out.

"Hmm," I murmured still against.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Look we need to talk Sibel. Baby, you need to listen to me, this that I feel for you and all that's under the rug you need to hear," he said a little lost. "I don't know how to describe it, Sib, nothing helps when it comes to you and nothing will until I have you, baby."

"Okay, let's talk," I said stepping back and out of his embrace and my breath hitched with the look in his eyes.

"Uh... could you at least put on some clothes," he said throat bobbing hard. "Before..."