I often thought about how he was. He was 24, just like me. He probably finished university, probably one of the best ones. I was guessing he went to Yale. He always said he wanted to study law. I hoped he could do that. I hoped he had reached his goals, but there was the question in my mind all the time that still broke my heart into pieces.
He probably has a nice girlfriend, or a fiancee or a wife. He might have kids as well. We once joked about that. He said that it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl they are going to learn to ride a horse before they learn to walk.
But it was pointless to think about that. Even if he still wanted me, I couldn't be with him as he deserves a healthy, confident and worthy woman, not a dirty and ill one like me.
I told my doctor that I cannot slee
