HIS GIRL

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER THREE

ADAM

I have thought of non-existence. Not the kind where you don’t breathe. No. It is when your own painful feelings and punishing thoughts feel illusive even to you. When you don’t lay awake at the c***k of dawn overthinking the smallest of details. When the world doesn’t feel too silent and neither do you feel too visible. Almost like the world is watching your every move, its haunting gaze cutting open your life like a double edged sword. And it feels like you live a life more pellucid than a clear glass, every tiny detail of it bared for all to see and judge. But maybe that's just my brain screaming too loud. I delicately drum my fingers on the table, absentmindedly chewing on a piece of gum, its mint flavor long gone and yet I have made no effort to dispose of it. Tomorrow would be Halloween and Mrs. Bethany, the appointed patron for the event, has called the planning committee s***h the student body to do one last round of check-ups. Add that to the amount of meetings and check-ins she had been doing with us over the past three weeks. One would think this Halloween party is some sort of golden merit for her. She wants everything to be perfect. A hand taps my right thigh, jolting me back to reality, a sigh of relief cascading through me when my gaze fell on my girlfriend next to me. She shoots me a wink and I smile at her.

“I’m bored,” she whispers but apparently too loud for Mrs. Bethany’s sharp ears.

“Miss. Hudson, is there something you would like to share with the rest of us?” Mrs. Bethany inquires, her sharp blue eyes on Mia.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Bethany,” she says.

The teacher’s face relaxed, picking up from where she’d left. The thing about Mia is that she is easily almost every teacher’s pet. Perfect grades. Good behavior. Never set foot in a detention before. She is one of those good girls who could never hurt a fly and on most days, I wonder how she ended up with someone like me. Someone so messed up. She could have certainly done a lot better.

I watch her face, as she pretends to follow keenly on what Mrs. Bethany is saying. There is an imminent urge to tread my fingers along the length of her silky, dark hair just to feel how soft it is. Its one of those things that relaxes every nerve in my body.The shuffling of feet distracts me and I realize the meeting is done. Finally.

“Hey, so what do you say we go out tonight? Nothing fancy. Just some ice creams and I heard they are showing the new Michael. B. Jordan movie at the theater. I could get us some last minute tickets,” I propose, her eyes instantly sparkling with excitement.

She stands on the tip of her toes, placing a chaste kiss on my lips, “Pick me up at seven forty-five,” She paused, “By the way, you weren’t in basketball practice earlier. I dropped by after debate club canceled today’s meeting,”

“I rushed home for a bit,” I smile down at her, “Nothing big,”

It is not a lie but still her gaze holds suspicion but she doesn’t prod further. Instead, she hooks her arm around mine as we head to the parking lot. It's pretty dark outside as I walk Mia to her car, watching her drive off before walking to my car. Jax and Dylan, are leaning by the hood of my jeep and judging from their eyes, very high from weed. Jax was definitely avoiding the usual comparison to his academically excellent twin brother, Dax. And Dylan, well, I think he just likes drugs. As for me, it is the escape it brings that has me constantly smoking when nobody is watching. Nobody, except for my two friends and my parents know I even indulge in such practices. Of course my parents are not very happy about it and they are actually convinced my two best friends are solely responsible for my deteriorating behavior. I think Mia suspects it too.

“You said twenty minutes,” Dylan complains. I motion to him and he hands me a rolled up piece of weed. I need the high-nope, I crave it.

“Well, Mrs. Bethany decided an hour would be the perfect length for the meeting,” I say, lighting up the rolled up joint parched between my lips. I take a long draft, closing my eyes for a brief second to relish the feeling, “Good joint,”

“I changed suppliers,” Jax says, “I’m planning to sell out a bunch tomorrow,”

“Just don't get caught. You know Bethany won’t waste a second in ruining your life, right?” Dylan points out.

“No. Bethany is a total sweetheart ,” I pause, “So you finally got some dates for tomorrow?”

They both shrug and I sigh. Every year, they would hype up any school event, talking about the girls they plan to ask and then in the end decide that they don’t need them. At this point, they should just marry each other. For a while, none of us utter a word, probably because I’m getting high too.

“You remember the two girls who dressed as a banana last year?” Dylan questions, breaking the silence.

I trace my thoughts back to last year’s Halloween party, searching through my fragmented memories but nothing comes up. I shake my head in denial, lying down on the trunk of my car, staring at the starless night. So damn void. An endless patch of darkness hanging above us. Just like my life. Maybe that is why I liked the starless nights.

“Dude, come on,” Jax nudges my shoulder, “One of them works in your father’s bookstore. Thinking about it, her friend is kinda pretty,”

“You know I don’t know s**t about that bookstore,” I reply, my gaze drawn back to the night sky. For a brief second, a face flashes in my memory. Her name had been Ella, right? Definitely quite an interesting oddball that one.