Saviors 101

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

“I do not have a bad attitude.”

Henrietta glared at her from inches away. Her fluttering wings fanned the heat on Dana’s face.

“I don’t.” She just didn’t want anything more to do with all this nonsense, ever.

Sam had been nice enough to escort her home after Michelle and the angel left. She’d barely been functional. Sam was sweet about saying he wouldn’t take advantage of a woman drunk, which she wasn’t, any more than he would of a bewildered Messiah-to-be, which she apparently was. Actually, the possibility of it had weirded them both out so much that s*x had not been on either of their minds. Well, not much.

She’d slept until lunch, had some of Mama’s pancakes and crab-stuffed tomatoes, and retreated to the planetarium.

Where Henrietta and Michelle had inevitably found her.

“You do. Totally bad. Even bad manners.” The angel crossed her arms and harrumphed. Fluttered once around the meteor storm projector and back before continuing her harangue.

“The Devil. Not a minion. Not a minor demon. The Devil herself has taken her valuable time to come and teach you about yourself. And you say, ‘Oh no, I’m fine just the way I am. Why don’t you all leave?’ That’s what I call a bad attitude. Why, when I was a spokes-angel for her at the four-thousand-two-hundred-and-thirty-seventh All-Angel Rally Potluck, not one single feather was ruffled by the fact that she had just broken up the continents. And you…You…” She aimed her tiny finger at Dana’s nose.

Dana tried to bite it and the angel fluttered back a few inches.

Michelle rose from her chair, stood behind the angel and mimicked the pointed finger.

Henrietta continued. “And I never ever have been so offended.” Tiny crossed arms were copied by the Devil Incarnate behind her.

“I remember when Michelle suggested this whole idea to you. She said, ‘Diana. I have this great idea. How would you like to be immortalized in the great chronicles of history?’ ” She made a great sweeping gesture so completely unlike Michelle that Dana had to bite her tongue to not laugh.

Michelle turned her mimicry of the swept arm into that of a mad sorceress set upon destroying an army upon a MacBethian heath.

“And you said, ‘Boy, I would love to do that.’ ” Hand to their hearts, one in sincere belief and the other pledging allegiance to a flag.

“ ‘A chance to go down in history?’ ” Fingers aimed at the floor, Henrietta defining the moment and Michelle drilling for oil.

“ ‘How can I resist such an honor? You mustn’t pick anyone else.’ you said.” Both hands to cheeks, one in mock horror and the other in Friday-the-Thirteenth terror.

“That’s what you said and you would sit here and deny that you said such a thing.”

This time when the twin fingers were aimed at her, remonstrance and magic wand, Dana finally lost it. Okay. Laughing in the face of an angel probably wasn’t the most respectful thing she ever did. And it might not help her get into Heaven. But she couldn’t help herself.

Tiny hands on hips.

Larger hands displaying what nice hips they were on.

Dana rolled over onto the floor. A stitch formed in her side as the agitated angel fluttered about, finally spotting the Devil pretending to dial 911.

Tiny hands on hips again. Directed at Michelle this time.

Michelle started to mimic the wildly fluttering heavenly being but doubled over in laughter herself and slid down the side of the projector’s base.

Dana curled up on the floor until her gut ached and her tears were spent.

Each time she tried to breathe, she’d squeak at the pain of the stitch in her side. Which struck her as terribly funny. Then Michelle would squeak in imitation and they’d were off again.

When they were at last done, they leaned weakly against the planetarium projector shoulder-to-shoulder.

Michelle had to clear her throat twice before she could speak which brought forth a few weak giggles that ached in her diaphragm.

“Oo. Oo. Oo. That hurts.”

“You sound just like Henrietta.”

Dana looked up at the deeply offended angel perched on the blankets that she and Sam had mussed but never used.

“Well, it does hurt.” Dana did her best to sound contrite and breathe slowly and deeply.

“And I hate to break it to you,” Michelle rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. “But she’s right. You agreed to do it.”

Henrietta gave a solid nod of approval and glared up at her with all the fierceness of slightly hungry pet gerbil.

The thought sobered her.

“I agreed to…”

Michelle nodded, “Try to save humanity.”

The words turned to sand in her mouth as she uttered them.

“Last night you said the universe.”

“Well,” Michelle shrugged. “The problem does seem to be getting a bit worse than when we started.”