Devastation didn't begin to describe what consumed me at that moment, or maybe it did. Standing in the rain, I wasn't aware of anything around me. It might have been the water or the fact my brain was overloaded and stopped functioning hours earlier. I knew he wasn't there, but I couldn't help myself. The guilt weighed heavily on my conscience as I traced the top of the family's marker. My legs quivered as I lowered myself onto the ground, kneeling above his body with my hands pressed into the freshly turned earth.
Everyone else had either left or stepped away. Gray's mom was nearby, as was Brett, but I'd ended up here alone to say goodbye. There were likely people watching, and those who thought it was inappropriate, but I laid down on my side, with my temple to the cool dirt below and
