Starstuck

Chapter 3: Strangers

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious,” Annie falters as she speaks, not wanting to be rude.

“Nah, that’s okay. I did set myself up for that question. My bad,” Jamal chuckles again. “Maybe later? Okay?”

“No need. I was just trying to spark a conversation,” Annie says while smiling to diffuse the situation. She fears his mistrust might escalate, even if the janitor has given no indication of that happening. Muttering under her breath as if joking to herself, “I would not expect you to tell me your secrets within the first hour stuck with me.”

But there is no joke. Everyone always tries to dig out Annie’s secrets, and there are too many for her to count. You never know who might turn on you, and he is a stranger. Annie studies him and notices how his gaze is tapered to the floor. He leans into the wall in a non-threatening and relaxed way. Still, she doesn’t trust his signals; she’s been fooled before. Men always expect something when they have been friendly, and Jamal has been very nice to her so far. What does he want?

“Yeah, yeah, I get you,” Jamal responds, locked inside a memory. “We can talk of something else, anything. I don’t live glamorous like you, but if you wanna know anything, just ask, you know. I’m boring compared to what you are used to, but I’m the only person here.” His grin is broad as ever; he doesn’t see the fear freezing her body for a moment.

Forcing himself out of his past, Jamal looks at Annie, who turns her head away immediately. He takes the time to study her face with the now smudged makeup and tear stains. She is still, without question, exquisite, and he wonders who she really is. Is she as fake as she seems, or is there someone worth getting to know underneath all the faded glamor? The little he’s seen today seems to show that. He wants to ask about her life, but he’s shy, and afraid of stepping on her toes. Besides, she’s a movie star and probably wants to keep some privacy.

“I don’t know,” Annie thinks aloud after pondering of something to ask. “Do you have a girlfriend or something?” She bites her lip. Why did I ask that of all the questions I could have asked!? To cover her embarrassment, she shrugs, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Nah-a, ain’t got time for that,” Jamal laughs heartily before becoming somber. His smile changes quality from a happy-go-lucky attitude into one of pride. It’s perhaps a smaller smile, but its meanings are deeper.

“I have a daughter,” he explains. “And I’ll do anything to keep her safe. That’s my priority.” As he speaks, he touches his heart, almost as if his love for the kid burns too bright.

“What about your baby mama? Not together?” Annie asks, now more curious about his life. She couldn’t imagine being a parent. There is no space for a child in her life, and she doesn’t think there ever will be.

“She umh… she dead,” Jamal says shortly. There is no sadness in his voice, but the subtle energy of guilt lies between those words.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Annie acknowledges, feeling bad for his girl. It must be lonely with only one parent. Not unlike what Annie felt growing up. However, her parents were together, though, but never there for her. They were too busy with their own lives to care about their kids. Besides, that’s what the nannies were for.

“Nah, you good. We lost contact not long after the birth, and she barely met our little princess before life became too hard on her. She never stood a chance. It’s a sad story, really, but it is what it is,” he says matter-of-factly. There is pain in his memory, but no reason to bring that up here and now.

“I tell you what,” Jamal blurts out to change the subject, hoping for a lighter tone in their conversation. “My grandmother was excited when she learned I would work in your building. She always wants to know if I’ve talked to you.”

“I guess she will have a field day now, won’t she?” Annie asks rhetorically, her careful attitude suddenly gone. Anger flares up, and her pulse speeds up the blood system. She is so sick and tired of people talking about her as an object. “You look forward to telling her about how I was all broken and sad and then became stuck here with you? Why not call Entertainment w****y while you are at it? Or are you waiting for the juice story of what happened first?”

Furious and tired of the world, Annie gets up from the nest Jamal has built her and stomps back and forth in the small space that seems to shrink by the seconds. Jamal just sits there. At first, with questions in his eyes. Then his gaping mouth becomes a soft smile of empathy. He doesn’t get up but lets her take the room she needs to calm down.

“No, granny will not like that you are hurt,” Jamal protests, trying to not use his full volume. A beast has awoken, and it’s best not to provoke it.

“Yeah, she’s such a good person. Is that it? She only gossips about the good stuff? She would never tell everyone she knows how ‘Jamal saw the poor girl up close.’ That’s not how she behaves?” Annie rants. She is practically breathing fire. “Guess what, ‘Jamal,’ you all talk to each other like that. ALL OF YOU.”

“Umh, no. That ain’t what I meant,” Jamal tries to object.

Annie stops her constant stomping and turns towards him. Her cheeks are red, and her eyes are brimming with raging tears. She clutches the hoodie like she wants to rip it off her body. Jamal wants to reach for her and comfort her. A long-forgotten need stumbles into his mind as he remembers how he, as a child, wanted to save a princess from the tower of evil.

“So, what did you mean, then?” Annie snarls and starts to breathe slow, forceful lungfuls of air.

“Granny used to work as a nanny for you when you were little. She wants to know how you doin’. She still worries about you, you know,” Jamal reveals with a sad smile.

“Yeah, right,” Annie retorts, but her voice falters, and she studies the man in front of her again. This time she sees something she didn’t spot before. She can’t put her finger on why, but there is something familiar about him.

“Yeah, Diana Williams. Do you remember her?” Jamal asks, and all the air leaves Annie’s body. She sinks back to the floor next to Jamal again, and utterly deflated, she whispers,

“Yeah, I remember Nanny Williams. I thought she loved me, but in the end, she left me, like everyone else.”