We stood in the lobby of the hospital, some of us sitting on the chairs laid out, some pacing around, some simply staring blankly at the wall. I couldn't react rightly as to what was going on, waiting impatiently to find out whether the love of my life will live, pass away or stay in a coma. I couldn't keep my thoughts at bay, couldn't stand the impossibly loud voices in my head. They screamed at me, scolding me that i had failed at the most important thing in my life. And with all of that, I began to believe that I did. I regret it deeply. Now that this situation is at hand, us waiting in the hospital for the dreadful news of the doctors, I regret it deeply. I held back ever since the first time we slept together, the thought prodding my mind when I fell asleep at night, when i woke up