Disguised Before The Alpha Prince

Chp 50

Pearl POV

I walked away without looking back.

Every step felt like I was walking with stones tied to my feet.

My chest was tight, too tight. Not because of the bindings… but because of him. Because of Demyan.

The way he looked at me…

It broke something in me to push him away. But I had to. I needed to. He didn’t understand, not yet. Maybe he never would.

He thought he was in love. Maybe he was. But love... love was a dangerous thing for someone like me.

I couldn’t afford to feel it. Not now. Not when I was so close.

I reached the edge of the dorms and paused under the shadow of a tree, letting the cool wind hit my face. I didn’t cry. I wouldn’t cry. But a part of me still ached for him, for the warmth of his arms, the safety of his voice.

But I couldn’t forget why I was here.

I clenched my fists.

This was bigger than me. Bigger than Demyan. Bigger than anything I had ever felt.

I was here to become an Imperial Scholar not to fall in love with another wolf who had no idea the fire I carried inside me.

This title, this rank… it wasn’t for prestige. It was my only way to get inside the Imperial Firm.

Because once I was in, I’d have access to the hidden files. To records the public never saw. To names, real names the ones behind my parents’ deaths.

I would find the ones who destroyed my family. And I would make them pay.

But first… I had to win. I had to rise. I had to become someone no one could ignore. Even if it meant breaking my own heart.

The wind rustled through the trees, whispering like a familiar voice.

I closed my eyes.

And just like that… I was there again.

That night. That final conversation.

We were sitting under the old fig tree in our garden. The stars were out. I was so young… too young to understand what was coming.

“Pearl,” my father said, his voice deep and warm. He always spoke with such quiet certainty. “You’re worth more than you think.”

I looked up at him, confused. “But I’m just a girl, father.”

He chuckled, brushing my hair back gently. “Exactly. And they’ll always try to convince you that’s a weakness. But it’s not. It’s your strength, your fire. Just remember…”

His gaze darkened, lips pressing into a firm line. “This world is not kind. People will smile at you and lie in the same breath. Trusting too easily… can be deadly.”

I nodded slowly, not fully understanding, but the weight in his voice stayed with me.

He squeezed my hand.

“Never let your guard down, Pearl. Always think twice before trusting someone. Protect yourself, your heart, your soul. Because once it’s broken…” He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t need to.

And that was the last night I saw him alive.

The memory faded, and I blinked back the tears forming at the corners of my eyes.

One escaped. Then another.

I stood there beneath the sky, and slowly wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand.

“No,” I whispered softly, voice breaking but sure. “I won’t let it go to waste.”

I looked up at the sky, imagining his face between the clouds, his hand still resting gently on my head.

“Father…” I said quietly, “I will walk your path. I will never let my guard down again. I will protect your name, your legacy.”

A small smile crept onto my lips, bittersweet.

“You gave me a second life that day… and I promise I’ll live it with strength. I won’t die. Not before I’ve earned justice. Not before I make them remember your name.” And with that, I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and walked back toward the dorms. This wasn't just my journey anymore. It was his, too.

___ —---

The morning sun was hidden behind thick clouds, and the academy grounds felt damp from the storm the night before. I pulled my cloak tighter around me as I walked through the stone corridor, my steps echoing softly against the wet floor.

I hadn’t slept much. My mind kept replaying his voice—

“You’re worth more than you think.”

“Don’t let your guard down.”

I touched the pendant that lay hidden beneath my shirt. The last thing I had of my parents. The weight of it grounded me, reminding me of my purpose, my mission, and the promise I’d made to myself.

Becoming an Imperial Scholar wasn’t just a title. It was the only door that would lead me to the truth. And I wouldn’t let anyone—not even Demyan—pull me away from that path.

I entered the lecture hall. The others were already seated, murmuring in low tones. I avoided their eyes and found my usual seat in the corner, placing my books on the desk.

But then I felt it.

That familiar pull.

That presence.

Demyan.

I didn’t need to look up to know he was watching me. My heart stuttered slightly, tightening with both guilt and… something else I didn’t want to name. He had been nothing but kind, caring, and gods it scared me how much his gaze could make me feel seen.

I finally glanced up.

He was leaning casually against the wall across the room, arms folded, hair still a little messy, his shirt loose like he’d just thrown it on in a rush. His eyes, those stormy silver eyes were fixed on me. Searching. Waiting.

A long silence stretched between us before he started walking toward me.

I stiffened.

“Perin,” he said gently.

I looked away, pretending to read something from my notes, though the words were a blur.

“Can we talk?”

I didn’t answer.

He sighed softly and knelt beside my desk, his voice low enough only I could hear. “You don’t have to push me away.”

I finally turned to him, meeting his eyes with more strength than I felt. “We’ve already talked, Demyan. I made myself clear.”

His jaw clenched. “No, you ran. You told me I was confused about my feelings, like I haven’t spent nights awake thinking about you. Worrying about you.”

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat.

“You don’t understand,” I whispered.

“Then help me understand,” he replied, voice raw. “Why are you so afraid to let someone care about you?”

I shook my head. “Because I can’t afford it. Not now. Not when I’m so close to what I came here for.”

“You think I’ll distract you?” he said bitterly.

I looked at him, really looked at him. How could I explain this? The war I fought inside every time he looked at me like I was the only person in the world. The way my heart ached just standing this close.

“You’re not a distraction,” I said, voice barely above a breath. “You’re a risk.”

He was silent. And for a second, I thought he might walk away.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he reached out, placing his hand over mine, fingers warm and calloused.

“Then I’ll wait,” he said. “Even if you keep pushing me away. Even if you never choose me. I’ll still be there, watching your back. Because I—” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “Just… don’t shut me out completely. Please.” I didn’t know what to say. My chest felt too full.

I tried my best not to look at him.

Even when he stood just a few steps away. Even when I could feel his presence in the room like the sun shining too brightly through a window I wanted closed. I ignored him during morning lectures. I ignored him at lunch when he dropped his spoon near my table and gave me a sheepish look. I ignored him even when I caught him staring with that same softness in his eyes that used to make my heart race.

I had to. I had a goal.

But Demyan... he wasn’t making it easy.

One day, he left a steaming cup of my favorite spiced tea right at my seat before class started. He didn’t say a word. Just walked in, left it, and walked out with his hands in his pockets. The scent wrapped around me like a hug, but I kept my eyes on the scroll in front of me.

Then there was the time I was walking back to the dorm with my arms full of books. A strong wind almost knocked the topmost ones off—until his hand darted out from behind and steadied them.

"You really need to start asking for help," he murmured beside my ear. "You’re not made of steel, Perin."

I didn’t respond. Just clutched the books tighter and walked away.

But my steps slowed every time. My resolve weakened with every kind gesture he made. The time he brought extra food and casually left one portion at my desk. The time he stood at the back during archery class, pretending to be focused on his own work, but I knew he was watching to make sure I didn’t get hurt.

I knew. And it made my chest ache.

Even now, as I sat under the tree, pretending to read, I could feel him nearby. I looked up and saw him tossing pebbles into the river. Not looking at me. But I could tell, he knew exactly where I was.

And when he glanced over and smiled, just barely. I had to bite my lip to keep it from curling.

He was trying. Every little gesture, every wordless gift, every lingering glance… it chipped away at the wall I had built. I was ignoring him, yes. But my heart... it remembered every single thing.

I don’t know why I walked toward him.

Maybe it was the way he stood by the riverbank, shoulders relaxed but eyes distant, as if waiting for someone. Or maybe it was because I was tired of pretending I didn’t see how he tried every day, in subtle, silly ways to make me laugh again.

He was tossing pebbles into the flowing river, his aim lazy, but precise.

I bent down and scooped a few small stones from the ground before approaching him.

He didn’t look back, but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch like he’d already sensed me there.

I stood beside him, quietly tossed a pebble. It splashed into the river with a soft plunk. A tiny ripple formed, lost immediately in the gentle current.

Demyan turned slightly to me, a crooked smile on his lips. “So, you're speaking to me now?”

I gave a half-hearted shrug. “I figured the river didn’t deserve the cold shoulder too.”

That made him chuckle under his breath, and we stayed like that for a while side by side, the silence filled with easy company and the sound of water lapping against the bank.

But the ground was damp, and with one careless step, my boot slid across the soft mud. I let out a small yelp as my feet gave way and the next thing I knew, I was tumbling straight into the river.

“Perin!” Demyan shouted.

The water was cold but not deep. I sat up, soaked and muddy, sputtering out a laugh as I pushed wet hair out of my face.

Demyan rushed in after me, boots and all, panic etched across his face. “Are you okay? Where did you hit? Let me see!”

I gasped dramatically. “I think… I might be dying.” I groaned, flopping back a little into the water for effect.

His face went pale.

Then I burst out laughing.

Demyan blinked, stunned. “You—”

“I faked it,” I giggled. “You should’ve seen your face.”

His expression turned from concern to something more playful. “You really think that’s funny?”

I nodded, still giggling until he reached into the river and splashed a handful of cold water right at me.

I squealed. “Demyan!”

“You started it.” He grinned wickedly, eyes lit up in a way I hadn’t seen in days.

We were both soaked, mud clinging to our clothes, water dripping down our hair. But at that moment, I felt lighter than I had in a long time.

And when I met his eyes, there was something quiet between us. Something that wasn’t just playful.

Maybe it was in the way he looked at me.

Or maybe… the way I didn’t look away.