Chp 32
1786 Words
Pearl
Later that night, I couldn’t sleep.
I turned to one side, then the other, curling deeper into the thin sheets of the academy cot. The night air was cool, but my skin felt warm—like I’d been holding my breath for hours.
Demyan.
He caught me and I didn’t pull away. I should have. I meant to. But for a heartbeat, standing there in his arms, everything went quiet.
It wasn’t supposed to feel like that.
I pressed my hands over my face and groaned silently.
Why did he have to say things like that?
Why did he have to look at me like he almost knew?
He didn’t. He couldn’t. I made sure of it.
That bathhouse trick worked perfectly—he never got close. I had everything under control. And yet… there’s this flicker in his eyes lately, like he’s not quite convinced anymore. Like he feels something, even if he doesn’t know what it is.
Just like I do.
And that’s the worst part.
I used to hate him. Loud, arrogant, prick Demyan. But somewhere between the arguing and the teasing and him helping me across that damn stream…
My heart stopped listening to my head.
I turned on my side and stared at the moonlight stretching across the floorboards.
I came here to study. To prove I was more than just a noble girl hidden behind silk and expectations. To disappear behind Perin’s name. Not to feel this—this ache in my chest every time he looks at me like I’m a puzzle he wants to solve.
He can’t find out.
He won’t because if he does… everything I’ve worked for falls apart.
Still, the memory of his hands steadying me, of how gently he held me like I might vanish if he let go too fast—
It lingers.
And for one dangerous, stupid moment, I wish he’d never let go.
The next morning, I blinked slowly, the early morning light slanting through the thin curtains. My body ached slightly from yesterday’s chaos, but it was the unusual warmth near my side that made me stir fully.
When I turned, my breath caught.
Demyan was sitting beside my bed.
Not doing anything in particular—just fanning himself lazily with a folded parchment. His robe hung loosely around his shoulders, revealing a glimpse of his bare chest, and his hair… stars above, it was a mess. Windswept and wild, like he’d just rolled out of bed and didn’t care.
He was smiling.
Not the usual cocky grin, but something softer, almost boyish.
A strand of hair flew into his face, and he blew it away with a quiet huff, continuing to fan himself. I should’ve looked away. I meant to.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I just… watched.
There was something disarming about him like this—unguarded, almost serene. And for a moment, I forgot who I was pretending to be. I forgot about my disguise. My secret. The consequences.
I was just a girl, staring at a boy, wondering how he could still take up so much space in my chest without even trying.
Then my mind snapped.
What are you doing, Pearl?! Get up. Move. Say something. Look away!
Heat rushed to my cheeks. I sat up so fast I nearly tripped over the edge of the blanket. “You—what—why are you sitting there?” I blurted, avoiding his eyes.
He blinked, like he hadn’t even noticed how long he’d been there. “You were twitching in your sleep. Thought you were having a nightmare.”
“Oh.” My voice was small. “I wasn’t.”
“Yeah, I figured.” He shrugged and stood, stretching slowly, lazily, like a wolf who knew he had all the time in the world.
I got up, keeping my distance. I couldn’t trust myself this close anymore. Not after yesterday. Not after the way he looked at me, the way I almost let myself melt into it.
“You should go,” I said, tying the sash of my robe tighter than it needed to be.
He paused, brows lifting. “Why?”
“Because… because I need to get ready. And you can’t keep sitting near my bed like—like this.”
“Like what?”
Like someone I might start falling for.
“Like someone who doesn’t understand boundaries,” I muttered.
He chuckled. “Right. Of course. I’ll let you dress in peace, Your Majesty.”
He left with a smirk, and I sank back onto the bed for a breath. I had to keep my distance.
I had to because if I didn’t, one day, I wouldn’t be able to pretend I wasn’t in love with him.
I did everything I could to avoid Demyan.
Took the longer route to the lecture hall. Ate lunch early, before the others showed up. Sat between two first-years during scrollwork class so he couldn’t grab the seat next to me. It was exhausting—but necessary.
Every time I looked at him, I remembered that moment beside my bed. That smile. That chest.
Focus, Pearl.
But just as I started feeling proud of my brilliant escape plan, fate sent a familiar obstacle my way.
“Perin!” Rowan jogged up to me, beaming. His hair was a little windswept, shirt slightly untucked. “I saved you a spot under the shade. You look like you could use a break.”
I blinked. “Oh. That’s… nice.”
“Here—” He reached out suddenly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
I froze.
Was he…?
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Rowan said, still far too close, “would you like to come with me after study hours? I found a little garden behind the eastern wall. It’s quiet. Thought you’d like it.”
Before I could find an excuse, a shadow appeared behind us.
Demyan.
Great.
He was standing with his arms crossed, eyebrow raised, and a glare that could set parchment on fire. “Are you giving garden tours now, Rowan?”
Rowan smiled easily. “Just being thoughtful.”
“Thoughtful huh!!!.”
I could feel the tension thicken.
“I was just inviting Perin to a quiet place,” Rowan said, standing his ground.
“Well, Perin’s not a squirrel that needs to be lured out with flower petals,” Demyan said sharply. “He has training duties later.”
I turned to him. “No, I don’t—”
“Yes, you do,” he interrupted smoothly. “New schedule. Assigned by the mentors. Didn’t you check the board?”
Rowan looked skeptical. “Funny. I didn’t see it either.”
“That’s because it’s for advanced pairs,” Demyan said, draping a very deliberate arm over my shoulder. “You know. Partners who actually work well together.”
I went rigid under his touch.
“You’re making this up,” I muttered.
“Prove me wrong,” he murmured low enough for only me to hear.
Rowan frowned. “Well… another time then, Perin?”
“Sure,” I mumbled, still sandwiched under Demyan’s arm.
Rowan walked away slowly, casting one last confused glance over his shoulder.
The moment he was out of earshot, I elbowed Demyan in the ribs.
“Ow—what was that for?”
“I can handle myself.”
“I know,” he said, not looking the least bit sorry. “But watching him flirt with you was unbearable.”
“Why? You jealous?”
He grinned. “Incredibly.”
I turned away so he wouldn’t see the flush on my cheeks.
This wasn’t working. I couldn’t keep pretending I wasn’t affected.
Especially not when both boys were acting like I was something precious—when I wasn’t even being myself.
I had to protect this secret.
Even if my heart was getting harder to protect by the day.
I followed Demyan to the other side of the University, it was empty, no one was present there, while I walked I kept inspecting the surroundings and if we had any training there would be a board put up but nothing.
“I still can’t believe you faked a training schedule,” I muttered as Demyan led me through the side path near the stables, the academy building shrinking behind us.
“It’s not entirely fake,” he said, kicking a pebble off the trail. “We could train. You’ve got terrible balance, remember?”
“My balance is fine.”
“Tell that to the book that broke my toe yesterday.”
I scowled, but he just chuckled. The nerve.
We stopped in a small clearing behind the eastern practice yard—quiet, half-shaded, and empty. It looked like no one had trained here in weeks.
“You brought me here just to hide from Rowan,” I said, crossing my arms.
He leaned back against a tree. “You’re not just hiding from him. Admit it. You needed a break too.”
Maybe. I wouldn’t admit it out loud.
“So,” I asked, keeping my tone neutral, “what exactly are we training?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Reflexes.”
“I have great reflexes.”
Before I could blink, he reached out and tugged at my sleeve.
I stumbled forward instinctively—and tripped over his outstretched leg.
“Demyan!”
But instead of hitting the ground, I landed against him. Chest to chest.
His arms caught me automatically, one hand on my back, the other hovering awkwardly at my waist.
We didn’t move.
For a full, breathless moment… we just stayed there.
I could feel the rise and fall of his chest. The way his breath hitched. The way his fingers curled slightly against me, as if he didn’t trust himself.
My heart pounded so loudly I was sure he could hear it.
Then—
“I win,” he whispered.
I pushed off him, heat rising into my cheeks. “You’re insufferable!”
“But you didn’t fall.”
“I almost did.”
“But you didn’t,” he said again, quieter now.
I turned away, brushing imaginary dirt from my trousers just to give my hands something to do. “That wasn’t training.”
“It was.”
“No, it was flirting.”
He paused. “And… is that a problem?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
Because I didn’t know how much longer I could hold this lie together if he kept looking at me like that—like he was falling, slowly and surely, without even realizing it.
And worse… I was falling for him.
- Writer
