Disguised Before The Alpha Prince

Chp 42

DEMYAN – POV

The room was dim, the lantern flickering low as we prepared to sleep. The silence between Perin and me still clung to the air like thick fog. Even though we were speaking again, there were unspoken things—unsaid emotions—hanging between us.

She looked tired. Overwhelmed.

And she didn’t know that I was more than just watching her, I was memorizing her. Every little sigh. Every time she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Every time she fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve.

She didn’t know that I was battling everything inside me not to reach out and pull her into my arms.

Because I knew.

I knew who she was.

I knew what she meant to me.

And yet, all I could do was protect her in the ways she didn’t notice. Quiet ways.

Like now.

Rowan, with his ever-present princely charm, threw his blanket next to hers and began to lie down casually. “I’ll just crash here, yeah?” he said with a soft grin, eyes drifting too long on Perin.

I didn’t say a word at first. Just moved.

I grabbed my own blanket, walked around, and calmly settled beside Perin instead right where Rowan was aiming for.

He looked up at me, a little thrown off. “Are you sure about that spot?”

“I’m comfortable here,” I replied, voice low and final.

He didn’t press.

He knew better.

I could feel Perin glance toward me in confusion as she lay down slowly, her back to me. I deliberately kept my body angled away, leaving enough space between us that no one could accuse me of anything not even myself.

I wanted her to feel safe.

Not crowded. Not cornered.

Just… protected.

She was so close, I could hear her soft breathing. I could almost feel the warmth of her presence against the cool night.

And god's help me, I wanted to close that space.

But I didn’t.

I stared at the ceiling in the dark, my fists clenched under the covers, jaw tight. It would’ve been so easy to reach for her.

But I’d rather she sleep peacefully than ever feel threatened by me.

Because what I felt for her wasn’t just instinct. It was a choice, It was patience.

It was deeper than anything I ever expected to feel for anyone. So I laid there, still and silent.

Letting the distance between us speak for me. Even if it hurts.

It was well past midnight when I felt movement beside me.

At first, I thought it was a dream soft warmth brushing against my side. But then came the weight… her arm draped across my chest, her breath fanning against my collarbone.

Perin.

She had rolled in her sleep, nestling close to me.

My body went rigid.

She wasn’t just near she was pressed against me.

I opened my eyes slowly, the moonlight slipping through the cracks in the window giving just enough illumination. Her face was peaceful, innocent… unaware of the storm unraveling inside me.

And then I felt it.

The soft curve of her chest pressing against me.

My breath caught.

Her binds were usually tight, protective had loosened in sleep, and now… moon goddess help me, they offered no barrier. My eyes instinctively flicked downward, and I immediately looked away, jaw clenched, heart pounding like war drums in my ears.

I shouldn't look.

I couldn't.

But every inch of my body betrayed that logic.

The warmth of her, the faint scent only I seemed to notice, the way she held onto me like I was her anchor it was too much. My blood surged as my body reacted on its own, and I cursed under my breath, squeezing my eyes shut.

Control yourself.

I shifted slightly, trying to ease her off me, but she whimpered softly in her sleep and tightened her grip, burying her face in my chest.

My entire body tensed.

I was losing my mind.

This wasn’t just desire, it was something deeper, more primal. Her scent. Her touch. Her nearness. Everything screamed mate, and I could no longer deny what I knew in my bones.

She belonged to me.

But she didn’t know it.

And I had no right to take what she wasn’t ready to give.

I gently placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing my thoughts into ice. I didn’t deserve to feel what I was feeling not yet. Not until she knew the truth. Not until she chose me.

And even though my body was in agony from holding back, I just held her quietly, letting her rest in peace because that’s what she deserved.

My gaze wandered just for a second.

A mistake.

The loosened binds had slipped further, revealing a soft curve beneath the fabric… and just barely, the pale pink of her n****e peeking through.

I froze.

The sight branded itself into my mind. My throat ran dry, and my hand, almost on instinct, hovered—shaking—as if drawn by gravity itself.

Just one touch...

I clenched my fist midair, jaw tightening until it ached.

No.

What was I doing?

This wasn’t right. She was asleep and vulnerable. And more than that, she trusted me.

I yanked my hand back as if burned, breathing harshly through my nose as guilt crashed into me like a wave. I turned my head away, trying to anchor myself in anything that wasn’t the fire pulsing through my veins.

This wasn’t how I wanted her.

I wanted her awake, aware, choosing me… not caught in my storm of desire.

Still, the pull between us grew stronger each day, like fate had already tied the thread and I was just beginning to feel the weight of it.

I pressed the back of my hand against my lips, forcing my thoughts to cool, reminding myself of who she was.who we were and what was at stake.

She stirred again, curling closer, completely unaware of the chaos inside me.

And so I just stayed still, every muscle tense, watching over her like I always did… this time, with more restraint than ever before because she didn’t know what she was doing to me. But one day… she would.

*____*---*____*

PEARL POV

PEARL – POV

A soft breath tickled the back of my neck.

Warm. Too warm.

My eyes fluttered open slowly, the faintest glow from the window casting silver shadows across the room. For a moment, I didn’t move. I couldn’t. Something felt… off.

That’s when I realized there was an arm around my waist.

No not just around my waist.

Demyan’s entire body was pressed behind me, his hand gripping my stomach like I might vanish if he let go. His breath was steady but deep, his chest rising and falling against my back. My heart skipped a beat no, several. My thoughts spiraled.

When did we get so close?

I tried to shift slightly, but his arm instinctively tightened, pulling me flush against him. My cheeks flushed. Heat crept down my neck and across my skin as I became aware, painfully aware of how firm his body was behind me.

Oh moon goddess.

Was he… awake?

I bit my lip and remained still, my heart racing in my chest. I could feel everything the steady beat of his heart, the roughness of his palm, the unmistakable warmth that settled just a little too low against me.

Why was he holding me like this?

And why did it feel… safe?

I tried to steady my breathing, but my thoughts were anything but calm. Did he know? Did he remember I told him to stay away from me? Had that changed now?

I dared not speak. I just stared at the wall, heart pounding, wondering if I could pretend I was still asleep.

But I couldn't help it I whispered so quietly it was barely audible.

"...Demyan?", He didn’t answer.

Was he asleep?, Or just pretending, like I was?. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes again, unsure of what would come next.

___

I must’ve dozed off again my body too warm, my mind too full because the next time I opened my eyes, it was to the soft golden rays of morning light creeping through the window.

And then it hit me.

I was still wrapped in Demyan’s arms.

But this time, his hold was even tighter, almost possessive. My back was pressed to his chest, my legs tangled with his, and oh goddess his hand had somehow slid beneath the hem of my shirt, resting on my bare stomach. My entire body stiffened.

And that’s when I felt it.

He stirred behind me, and the heat that pressed against my lower back made me freeze.

I didn’t dare move. I couldn’t.

His breath was slower now, heavier. I felt his head dip slightly, his nose brushing against the curve of my neck. I knew, I just knew, he was awake. And aware.

“Perin…” he murmured, voice low and husky.

Moon goddess.

My eyes shot open just as I tried to shift away. But in doing so, I moved badly. I slipped, and my entire body turned toward him, our chests now flush.

My bound chest.

Which had loosened during the night.

His eyes opened at that exact moment. They were still cloudy with sleep, but then his gaze dropped.

And locked.

Right on the exposed curve of my chest.

His eyes widened.

I gasped and scrambled back, clutching the fabric of my shirt in a panic, trying to pull it over my chest as fast as I could.

Demyan shot upright, his expression unreadable. He blinked once. Twice. And then immediately turned away, jaw clenched tight.

I could barely breathe. My cheeks were on fire. My heart was thudding so loudly I thought it would burst out of my chest.

I waited for him to speak.

To say anything.

But he didn’t.

He just sat there, still and silent, one hand pressed against his lips like he was trying to keep a dam from breaking.

“Demyan… I—” I began, voice trembling.

He stood suddenly and walked toward the window, back still turned to me.

“I’ll give you a minute,” he said hoarsely. “Fix yourself… before I do something I’ll regret.”

What did he mean by that?

“Before I do something I’ll regret.”

His voice had been so strained, so low… so unlike the Demyan I knew. Was he angry? Embarrassed? Or—oh goddess—did he see…?

I quickly began to fix my bindings, my fingers fumbling with the fabric as I wrapped it tightly around my chest again. My heart was pounding against it like a drum. My cheeks still burned with heat. The look in his eyes it wasn't disgust. No, it was something else. Something darker. Something that made my stomach twist and flutter all at once.

Was he attracted to me?

No, that couldn’t be. He thinks I’m a boy. He has to think way. Right?

I slipped into a clean shirt and took a deep breath. I needed to confront him. Ask what he meant, clear the tension that now wrapped itself thickly around us.

When I stepped out of the room, he was by the corridor, arms crossed, eyes scanning the field outside. The moment he noticed me, his body visibly tensed. He didn’t speak.

“Demyan,” I said softly, walking closer.

He glanced sideways but didn’t meet my eyes.

“What… what did you mean earlier? In the room… when you said, ‘before you do something you’ll regret’?”

His jaw flexed.

“I was half asleep,” he said flatly, too quickly. “Didn’t mean anything. Just… said it without thinking.”

A lie.

I could tell from the way he avoided my eyes, from how his fingers twitched slightly at his sides. Demyan never said anything without thinking.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but he cut me off.

“Drop it, Perin. It’s nothing.”

He gave me a forced smile and ruffled my hair in that usual rough way he did when he was trying to pretend everything was normal.

But his hand lingered at the back of my neck just a second too long, like he was silently asking a question he wasn’t ready to voice.

I didn’t push. I couldn’t. Not when I myself didn’t know what I wanted.

So I just nodded and forced a smile.

“Right. Nothing…” But why is my heart beating this way?? Something I have never felt before. A different kind of feeling when I'm with him. It's like i want to be with him forever.