Disguised Before The Alpha Prince

Chp 39

ROWAN POV

From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew.

Perin wasn’t like the others.

Maybe it was in the way his gaze flickered too gently. Or how he flinched slightly when spoken to too harshly. There was something soft hidden beneath that forced composure. Something familiar… something feminine.

And then I knew.

Perin was a girl.

And since then, it hasn’t been easy. Watching her laugh with Killian. Watching her bicker with Demyan. Especially Demyan.

He gets under her skin—close in ways I don’t like.

I clenched my fist as I leaned against the outer wall of the academy, just beyond the garden. I could see her silhouette through the stone arches. Sitting with her head low. Maybe she was still upset. Maybe she missed him.

I didn’t.

In fact… part of me felt relieved that they were distant now.

Demyan was always so intense around her. Always watching her like he knew something. Like he deserved to.

But he doesn’t.

He doesn’t know the truth like I do.

He doesn’t know the kind of mate she could be… the kind of Luna she would become if she stood beside me. My father is waiting to meet her. He’ll understand when he sees her the way I do. I just need the right moment.

The right moment to tell her…

That I know.

That I’ve always known.

And that I’ve been falling for her—quietly, completely—even when I had no right to.

I rubbed the back of my neck, sighing. She was still so tense lately. Something was eating at her, and all I wanted was to protect her from whatever it was.

But how do I tell her?

How do I tell a girl who’s pretending to be a boy that I want her to be my mate?

The thought made me chuckle bitterly under my breath. What a mess.

Still, I looked at her and my heart stirred.

Soon, Perin. Soon I’ll tell you the truth. That I know who you are. That I don’t care what you’re hiding from the world. You belong with me.

I watched her from across the corridor, the morning sunlight catching in her hair. Even with her disguise, there was a softness in the way she moved—a hesitation, like she was carrying something heavy on her shoulders.

She was standing by the academy courtyard, flipping through her scroll, clearly distracted.

Now, Rowan. Just talk to her. Ease into it.

I took a deep breath and walked up beside her. “Perin,” I said, keeping my voice low and calm.

She jumped slightly, startled, then offered me a forced smile. “Hey Rowan... sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

I gave a small laugh, leaning just a bit closer. “You’ve been miles away all morning. Something on your mind?”

She bit her lip, eyes darting to her scroll. “Just… stuff. Studying. Classes. Tasks.”

Liar. I could see the way her fingers fidgeted.

I wanted to reach out, brush a strand of hair behind her ear—but I couldn’t. Not yet.

Instead, I said, “You know, if something’s bothering you… you can talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” she whispered quickly. Too quickly.

I hesitated. “You know, sometimes, just walking together helps clear the mind. Maybe a break from everything?”

She looked up at me, surprised. “You want to… walk with me?”

I nodded, trying to keep it casual. “If you’re not too busy.”

To my relief, she agreed. We strolled quietly through the garden path, past blooming lavender and soft humming from nearby birds. I kept glancing at her—searching for the right moment. Just a hint of vulnerability, something that would open a door.

But she was lost in her thoughts again.

Every time I tried to gently nudge the conversation to something a little more personal, she responded with casual oblivion:

“You’ve been really helpful lately, Rowan. Like an older brother.”

Brother?

That word nearly knocked the breath out of me. I smiled tightly, hiding the pang in my chest.

I wanted to scream that I wasn’t trying to be a brother. I wanted to be the man standing by her side. Her mate.

But she kept walking, staring at the sky as if the clouds held all her answers.

So, I swallowed my feelings. For now.

Because one day, I’ll tell her. One day she’ll see that the one who truly saw her was standing quietly by her side all along.

*____*----*____*

PEARL POV

I walked beside Rowan, the silence between us oddly comforting. He had this calm energy that made things feel a little less chaotic—unlike Demyan, who could stir up a storm with just one look.

But even now, with the soft breeze brushing against my face and the birds chirping overhead, my mind was still stuck on everything that happened. Lucien’s words kept replaying in my head like an echo I couldn’t shake.

Rowan was talking about something—flowers? I nodded absently.

“You’ve been really helpful lately, Rowan. Like an older brother,” I said, meaning it as a genuine compliment.

But when I looked up at him, his expression had shifted. Just for a moment. It was subtle, but something flickered in his eyes—surprise? Disappointment? I couldn’t quite tell.

He smiled a second later, but it felt different. Tighter.

Did I say something wrong?

I shook it off, brushing my hair back under my cap. “Sorry, I’m just... I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Rowan nodded slowly. “I figured. That’s why I wanted to take you out for some fresh air. Sometimes when the mind is cluttered, the heart can’t breathe either.”

That was… poetic. A bit too poetic for a casual walk.

I offered a weak smile. “Thanks. Really. You’re probably one of the only sane people here.”

His laugh was soft. “I will try.”

We continued walking, but I felt something shift. His steps slowed just a little, like he was trying to build up the courage to say something more. I kept glancing at him, expecting a question. But he never asked.

Instead, we reached the far side of the garden and stood under the willow tree. He hesitated beside me, then finally spoke.

“Perin, I—” he began, but just then, a loud bell rang from the academy hall.

Saved by the bell? Or interrupted fate?

I turned quickly. “We should get going, we’ll be late.”

As we walked back, I didn’t see the way he looked at me like I was more than just a disguise.

Because I was too lost in my own storm to see someone else's heart breaking gently beside me.

By the time I entered the hall, almost all the seats were taken. I scanned the room, heart pounding when I realized there was only one empty chair left.

Right beside Lucien.

Moon Goddess, no.

I swallowed hard, considering walking back out and pretending I forgot something. But the professor was already looking at me with a raised brow. I didn’t have a choice. My feet felt heavier with every step as I moved toward that cursed seat.

Lucien gave me a slow, knowing smile. “Lucky me,” he whispered under his breath as I sat down stiffly beside him.

I didn’t respond. I kept my eyes ahead, trying to pretend like the air around me wasn’t suffocating with his presence.

But the moment I sat, I felt it.

His gaze.

From across the room, I could feel Demyan watching me. Like his stare was searing into my skin, peeling back the layers I’d tried so hard to keep hidden.

I dared a glance.

He was there, seated far across the room, his jaw tight, eyes narrowed. His arms were crossed, his expression unreadable but the tension in his posture said everything. He was still angry. Still keeping his word. He hadn’t spoken a word to me since I told him off.

But even now, as promised silence stretched between us, his eyes burned holes into Lucien's side.

Lucien leaned in slightly, his breath brushing against my ear. “Relax, sweetheart. You're shaking.”

I jerked slightly, my fists clenching under the table.

“Don’t call me that,” I whispered, my voice sharp.

He only chuckled under his breath, leaning back in his seat like he owned the space between us.

I couldn't look at Demyan again. I was afraid of what I’d see in his eyes.

Anger?

Worry?

Jealousy?

I didn't know what scared me more that he might still care, or that he truly meant what he said… and had stopped.

I kept my gaze fixed on the parchment in front of me, though the words blurred and twisted, refusing to make sense. My heart was thudding too loud in my chest. I could still feel Demyan’s stare even though I wasn’t looking.

I knew he hated Lucien sitting near me. I could sense it in the way the air shifted.

But he wasn’t going to help me this time. I had pushed him away.

And now… I had to deal with this alone.

Lucien’s presence was suffocating. He wasn’t doing anything outright, but his nearness… his quiet confidence… it made my skin crawl. I leaned slightly away from him, trying to create distance, but the seat was too tight.

I wanted to glance at Demyan again, just once. To check if he was still looking. To see if maybe just maybe he’d come save me again.

But I didn’t deserve that now, did I?

Because the truth was… I regretted it. Every harsh word I threw at him in the hallway. I had been overwhelmed, afraid, too tangled in secrets. I hadn’t meant to hurt him.

But I did.

And now he was gone, even when he was right there.

I wanted to speak to him. Apologize. Tell him I never wanted him to stop caring. That even if I said I could handle it on my own… a part of me still needed him.

But what if it was too late?

I shifted in my seat, gripping my quill too tight, blinking away the sting in my eyes.

Lucien leaned again, too close, his voice a murmur only I could hear. “You know, I don’t like being ignored, little wolf.”

I didn’t answer. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

Instead, I let my eyes flicker just for a moment across the hall.

Demyan wasn’t looking at me anymore.

He had turned away.

And that hurt more than anything Lucien could ever say.