**DEREK POV**
Derek tells himself this is necessary long before he ever closes the door.
He does it early, deliberately, the way he prepares himself before a difficult call or a boundary decision that won’t be popular. He frames it carefully in his own head because the alternative language is dangerous. Necessary sounds clean. Necessary sounds responsible. Necessary fits neatly inside the role he’s worn for years, the one that expects him to make uncomfortable decisions and carry the weight of them without flinching.
Wanted is a word he doesn’t allow himself to use.
Impulse is worse.
Necessary belongs to leadership. To order. To the idea that everything he does is in service of stability rather than his own instincts.
He has spent years learning how to translate pressure into structu
