Touch Me, Daddy

9 - Theresa.

Casey and I did not speak to each other on the drive home.

I didn't even have anything reasonable to say. I feel no remorse for my actions, and a part of me feels very relieved that the hiding and sneaking about is over at last. I only feel sorry for Dr. Storm. He's been best friends with Dad ever since they were in diapers, and what happened today has greatly impacted their friendship.

Things would never remain the same between them again.

When Casey pulls up to the house, he kills the engine and sits back, a faraway look on his face. He's only twenty but looks forty at that very moment. I know he's hurting. But I also know he'll heal.

It's always only a matter of time.

"So..." he trails off, sighing. "How long...how long has this been going on between the both of you?"

I open my mouth but close it back. A trickle of guilt settles in my gut. "I've loved him since I turned eighteen."

"So that means you've been seeing each other since last year? Before we met?"

"We haven't been seeing each other in the way you think. It has always been a safe crush. From afar." When I look up at his face, I see nothing that looks like judgement, or disgust, but rather a deep-seated curiosity to properly understand. "I love him. I've always loved him, and I always will. I'm sorry I led you on. It was never meant to be that way, and I should have told you, but Dad likes you a lot, and I was so scared."

He exhales and looks away. The silence between us thickens, and I wring my hands a bit to pass time. After what feels like hours, he asks in a small voice. "Did you...did you ever love me too? If you never did, I don't want you to answer me. Just grab your stuff and leave. I'll be fine. I just want to know."

I don't even need time to think, and the truth, at that moment, is painfully obvious to the both of us.

I bite my bottom lip as I pick up my purse and open the door. "I'm so sorry, Casey."

He closes his eyes, and nods, then revs up the car. "I wish you both good luck. I'll be fine. Please take care of yourself."

Without wasting any second, he pulls out of the driveway, and I watch, tears in my eyes, as he speeds down the road, and out of sight. I don't know how long I stand there, the tears never stopping. I just lost a very good man.

When I turn to head into the house, I see Amelia waiting for me at the door. I quickly wipe the tears away. "Hey, Ammy."

She squints her eyes in scrutiny, tilting her head to the side. "Have you been crying?"

"No," I lie. "Is Dad back?"

"I thought he'd come with you. Come, I want you to help me with my math homework." I chuckle hoarsely as she drags me upstairs.

—

Dad doesn't come home until it's almost 10PM.

I'm already done tucking Amelia in bed, and getting ready to watch a little movie to distract my thoughts before I head to bed myself. I can't count how many times I've stared at my phone, anticipating, wishing and praying to get a text at least from Doctor Storm. I've sent numerous texts via w******p, but he keeps leaving me in read.

I even tried distracting myself by helping Amelia study, but I always come back to my phone, searching, hoping.

When Dad opens the front door, I quickly shoot up from the couch, tense. But he doesn't even look my way. I watch him drop his suitcase at the foot of the stairs and make his way to the dining table. I've already placed his food for him, and he digs in straight away.

Not wanting to speak to him or anything, I turn to go upstairs.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I pause. Look at him. "Dad, I — "

"Come here."

It's not a command. It sounds like a plea instead. When I move over, sitting next to him, and look deep into his green, tired eyes, all the guilt I didn't feel earlier come flooding my entire being. I feel so ashamed. I feel like a failure. Tears instantly well up. "Dad, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

He exhales, putting a hand on my shoulder and pulls me close. I bury my face in his chest, shaking as I cry. He lets me exhaust myself, only patting my back, and planting soft kisses on my hair in consolation. "It's fine. Stop crying."

"No, you don't understand. All this — everything — it's all my fault. Doctor Storm warned me. He didn't want to be a part of anything, but I found a way to pressurize him. I seduced him, Dad."

"Theresa," he says gently. "He allowed himself to be seduced. It's not solely your fault."

"Oh, but it is. I should have told you. I should have tried harder...to love Casey. I know you wanted him for me. You always speak so highly of him. I just want to be the perfect daughter, Dad. And I failed."

He watches me carefully, for a few minutes, then speaks. "Theresa, it's been seven years since your mother left us. Before she died, she had me promise to always take care of you and Amelia. To make sure that above all things, you two are happy at all times. And you two end up with good men. Worthy men."

He downs a glass of water, then continues. "I've known Max since we were kids. His friendship means the world to me, and I am very disappointed with the way he handled your attraction. I should've known. I'm his best friend for crying out loud. But now I understand things from his point of view. He didn't want to offend me. He wasn't sure how I would have taken it, and it sure would've sounded like he was hitting on you since you were a minor and was only waiting for you to reach eighteen before trying to stake his claim. I would have never tolerated that. But now that I've found out, I want to ask you again. Are you sure he's the one for you? Are you sure he makes you happy?"

"Father, I've loved him since the moment I set my eyes on him. I'm sure as anything."

"Then I guess that's solved, then," he says wistfully. "I want you to be happy, always. I don't want you to try and be perfect even when it causes a disservice to yourself. I was never a perfect son, so I don't expect a perfect daughter."

I'm too stunned to speak. I just start crying. Again. "Thank you so much, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. And I'm sure no other man would treat you better than Max. He's a good man. A good friend. And I'm sure he'll make a fantastic husband. Mark my words."

I hug him tight, thanking him profusely. It feels like a dream, but it's not. It's my reality.

Max and I will finally be together.

Forever.