(Filipino) Mania: Obsessive Love

          "Galing! Sikat ka na!" tuwang tuwa wika ni Ellah habang tinitingnan yung nagkalat na pictures ko online.           I'm really pissed off. Hindi ko alam kung sino ang kumuha at nag-upload nun. I asked dad and ate to help me take it down pero dahil marami na ang nag-repost hindi na namin ma-track kung sino yung original source. Hayaan na lang daw.           It's a picture of me in a swimsuit. Yeah, yun lang. Ewan ko ba sa mga tao't ang laki ng fascination nila pag nakakakita ng plus size na naka-swimsuit. First time ata nila. I'm not really that fat, sakto lang. Chubby kung baga. Sabi nga nila, normal lang yung body fats ko except I have bigger thighs and legs. Nagsimula akong nag-gain ng weight nung college. Dahil siguro sa stress at pressure, pagkain lagi ang karamay hanggang sa di ko napansin at heto na nga.           "Now you're as famous as your sister." patuloy ni Ellah.           Pag siya di tumigil, sasapakin ko na talaga siya. I'm not really happy about this. I hate attention. I want to stay lowkey as long as possible. Complicated na nga college life ko, mas kokomplikado pa dahil dito. I mean, my sister was an actress and I've seen her struggle dahil sa mga issues na hindi naman totoo, though she never cared about other people's opinion, I'm sure it's still hard to deal with them. Whatever I do, my life is none of anyone's business.           "Your body is to die for. Everyone's getting plastic surgeries to have a butt and thigh like that. You should be grateful you're naturally born with it."           Binaba ko ang hawak na libro at nanliliit ang matang hinarap si Ellah. "Can you let me focus, please? Hindi ako makapag-aral ng maayos dahil sayo. We'll be graduating like next next month. Our life depends on this."           She laughed. "Chill, Justine. I'm sure you will not fail. You'll probably graduate suma cum laude. Perfect mo kasi. Nasayo na lahat. I should point that out in my comment too."           Kumunot ang noo ko. Inagaw ko sa kanya ang phone niya para tingnan kung anong ginagawa niya at mas lalo lang akong nainis ng mabasa ang comments niya doon sa pictures ko na nagkalat online.           I temporarily turned off my phone dahil hindi na tumitigil ang pagpasok ng notifications sa lahat ng social media accounts ko and it's annoying so I don't really know what's happening online right now. Ate said it'd probably die down after ilang araw but it's been two weeks and instead na mawala mas lalo lang ata yung naka-gain ng attention. It was even posted in international websites and pages. I literally can't believe it.           "Mas rarami na naman manliligaw mo niyan." tukso ni Ellah.           I rolled my eyes. Tumayo na ako mula sa kinauupuan. I need some air. Parang sasabog na ako sa inis. I really want to sue whoever posted that picture.           Lumabas muna ako ng bahay to get some air. It's still 10 in the morning. It's Sunday. Dapat aalis ako ngayon para mag-shopping because I ran out of clothes to wear pero tinatamad ako. Maybe next week.           I'm currently living in my sister's house. Hindi niya ito kailanman nagamit so I don't really know why she built this in the first place. Pero dahil walking distance lang tong subdivision mula sa University na pinapasukan ko, I asked her bago ako gumraduate ng highschool kung pwedeng dito ako mag-stay until I graduate college. And of course she agreed kesa naman mabulok tong bahay.           Habang nagste-stretching sa labas, bigla na lamang may nag-doorbell sa gate. Nagtataka ko namang sinilip kung sino iyun.           Wala akong ini-expect na bisita today. So I called Ellah at baka siya may hinihintay.           "No. You know I barely know anyone here except my friends in the university. Maybe it's the neighbors?"           "Can you open it?" pakiusap ko sa kanya.           I can't open the gate alone for safety purposes. I already told you my sister is an actress but her fame's nothing compared to dad. Presidente lang naman ng bansa si daddy. Yeah, normal na ata ang maging famous sa pamilya.           "They're looking for you." anang si Ellah ng makabalik na sa loob.           Napataas ang kilay ko habang nakatingin sa babae't lalaki na naka-formal wear at nakasunod kay Ellah.           "Good morning, Ms. Felix... My name's Sunny Perez and this is my assistant, Christian Valdez. We're the representative of Pinch."           Nagtataka kong tinanggap ang business card na inabot nito sa akin. I know what Pinch is, I'm wearing it right now. It's one of my favorite local brands.           "What can I do for you?" tanong ko. Still confused.           "We're hear to offer you a great deal. Can we take a seat while we discuss about it?"           I looked Ellah. Nagkibit-balikat lang ito. Not to look rude, inimbitahan ko sila sa sala. I asked Ellah na maghanda ng drinks para sa bisita.           "We saw your pictures circulating online. I'm sure you're aware kung gaanong sumikat iyun over night?"           "Well..." I don't know what to say. Para saan ba toh?           May nilabas itong isang papel mula sa dala niyang suitcase. "So we're hear to offer you to be Pinch's model. You will be perfect for our next project. I'm sure you've heard about our campaign about plus size clothings? We've introduced it for years but never really had plus size models to present it. And you, Justine Felix, just got our attention. Don't get us wrong, it's not only because you're trending online, unang kita pa lang namin sayo'y talagang nakuha mo na ang atensyon namin. You're pretty. You have a really equally balanced body."           Binasa ko kung anong nakasulat doon sa contract na binigay nila sa akin. "I'm not really interested with modeling or anything like that. I think you approached the wrong person."           Ibabalik ko na sana yung kontrata but she stopped me. "Why don't you read it first bago mo kami bigyan ng sagot?"           "I'm really not--"           "We understand, Ms. Felix but at least reconsider our offer. You have my contact information. You can call me once you made up your mind."           I'm not really interested with this. Again, I don't want to be famous or anything. I just want to graduate college and find a job and live peacefully. That's all.           "Please reconsider our offer. Think about the opportunity. Not everyone gets the chance to work with Pinch. I know you don't need this, I know your family background, but this can help you."           Huminga akong malalim saka ngumiti dito. "I'll think about it." sambit ko.           I don't think they'll take no for an answer. I'm sure they were sent here thinking I'd take it but I'm not really interested and there's nothing that'll make me change my mind.           Hinatid ko na sila sa labas. They kept repeating that I should read the contract and reconsider it. Tango lang ako ng tango. Nang makaalis na sila saka lang ako nakahinga. Hays, pahamak talaga yung pictures na yun.           "So... What did they want from you?" tanong ni Ellah ng mabalik na ako sa loob.           Inabot ko sa kanya yung kontrata and nanlaki ang mga mata niya ng mabasa kung para saan iyun.           "Wooh, is this serious?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Ellah.           I nodded. "But I'm not taking it--"           "Why?? This is Pinch, Justine. Minsan lang toh! Diba naging modelo rin nila ang ate mo? They only hire the best, Justine! Tapos ikaw... They offered you directly to be their model. You should take it!"           I rolled my eyes. "I'm not interested, Ellah."           "No. You should think about it. This is like your free ticket to fame and fortune. Sabi mo ayaw mo ng dumepende sa mga magulang mo when you graduate. Life after college is hard, trust me. This is the shortcut you've been looking for. Kahit subukan mo man lang. If you don't like it then get out of it. But don't decide on things you'll regret later. Think again."           Nagkibit-balikat lang ako saka naglakad na patungo sa kwarto ko. She didn't stop talking about it but I didn't really listen. Hays, I just want peace of mind. Buti sana kung nasa kontrata yun, diba?