You Are Mine

A new hope?

Nicole. 

"Does it still hurt?" Adrian asked as he brushed his palm over my n*****s again. As always he applied some weird ointment on my n*****s after insisting on carrying me in his arms to our bedroom when he came back to the basement two hours later. 

I had spent a great deal of that time thinking about all of the words I wanted to rain on him for leaving me in that dark basement after I had practically begged him not to do that to me again. Now I had the chance to spew all of those very hurtful words at him, but I could not bring myself to do it, so I just sat on the bed shooting him the dirtiest glares as he tended to my n*****s that felt like they would fall out any second. 

"Good question," I spat, "but maybe you should have asked that before you used that deadly weapon on me." 

"Tone," he warned with a frown as he closed the bottle and dropped it on the nightstand. 

"I don't want to talk to you Adrian," I said as I reached for my dress on the bed. 

"Are we back to this phase again?" he crouched down in front of me and placed his palm on my knee. 

The fact that he only saw it as a phase, doubled my anger. "A phase?" I folded my hands across my chest and quirked my brows. 

"Nicole we should settle our issues like married adults. Ignoring each other is not going to work," 

"Of course," I snorted, "I mean we can follow your way of torturing and locking me up." he looked hurt by my words like I had slapped him across the face. The thought was laughable considering how much he had hurt me, and I was not done yet. "also," I continued, as I pushed his palm off my knee and got to my feet, "you and I Adrian, we are not a real couple. I am just a key for another door you need to open. And for your information, I hate you just as much as you hate me." 

I brushed past him, but he held me back and pulled me back into him, trapping me between his strong arms. "I do not hate you, Nicole," he said in a strained voice as he looked down at me. 

"Then why do you hurt me so much even when I apologize," I yelled back as the tears I had been trying to hold rolled down my cheeks. "You want us to be like a normal couple yet you keep taking us forward and backward. Just when I feel like we're getting somewhere you take me back to that basement, where I hate most." More tears flowed as I remembered the pain from those evil clamps, not like I could forget so easily though, my n*****s still hurt like hell as they brushed against his sturdy chest. "What am I supposed to think, that you love me? You do not hurt someone you claim to love, so you can stop with that bullshit of not hating me." 

"Believe it or not, I do not hate you, Nicole. I could not even if I tried to," he admitted as he placed his forehead on mine. 

"Then put me on the next flight back home," I whispered, even though I knew that was just wishful thinking. "I miss my best friend, I miss my mommy and my dad," I sobbed, "I want to have everything I had before,"

"As much as I wish I could Nicole, I will not," he said with a note of finality. It hurt more because he was not saying he was incapable of doing it, he was saying he was choosing not to. 

"Okay," I said as I pushed myself away from his grip, I needed somewhere private to cry my eyes out, but of course he refused to let go. 

"I will not let you leave because Ricco will kill you in two hours flat. I cannot take that risk, I will not." he frowned.

"Well, I think I would rather die in Ricco's hands than be around you right now," I blurted without thinking and almost immediately regretted it. 

Adrian let out an exasperated sigh, before releasing his hold on me. The coldness that hit my body made me immediately miss the protective warmth of his hands on me. Please hold me again. But instead, he stepped away, placing a lot of distance between us, distance that I realized I did not want anymore. 

"No matter what you say, I will not let you leave these walls Nicole." he told me, "but if it pisses you off so much, I'm sure I can stay as far away as possible from you." 

I do not want you to stay away from me. But I refused to get the words out and massage his ego any further, instead, I said, "Thank you, that's all I need right now." 

The anger and hurt on his face only deepened as I walked past him to get some clothes from the closet. I hoped and prayed in my heart that he would stop me, and kiss me and force me to stay in his arms because as much as I pretended to hate it, I loved being in his arms. I did hate going down to that basement given how much pain I always had to go through there but every other thing Adrian did to me, I craved. 

Maybe I was the one with the bigger problem, me and my indecisiveness. Even if Adrian let me leave, I would still choose to be with him because I did not even want to imagine what it would feel like to be apart from him. And now thanks to my angry blurts, I had managed to push him away. 

I winced at the way my arms hurt when I reached up to get one of my dresses folded at the top of the closet. My arms were heavy and my ankles still hurt a little even after Adrian had tended to them, another reminder of why I should hate him but I could not bring myself to. 

My heart fluttered in my chest as I felt the heat of his body on mine from behind. I turned around to find him standing behind me, still wearing that frown, with his arms folded across his chest. "Let me get that down for you," he offered. 

"No I'm fine" I lied. 

"You do not always have to be so stubborn," he growled and reached above me, easily taking the dress and bringing it down. "I need to tell you something," he said as he handed the dress to me. 

"Okay," I said biting my lip shyly. 

"My mom and sister would be returning home today," he said in a clipped tone. 

"Oh okay," I said trying to articulate my surprise, "I thought they were still in Italy,"

"She does not know we're married yet," he continued, ignoring my question, "My sister does not know either, so do not have your ring on yet." 

"You do not want her to know?" I asked, confused. 

"Not until I'm ready to tell her," he clarified, "and I will tell her at dinner. So wait till then" 

"Okay," I said and he turned to leave without any further acknowledgment. "Where are you going?" I blurted, despite my resolve to not show any sign of wanting him around. 

"I thought you did not want me around you?" he snorted and looked away as he continued walking into the room. 

"I did not say so," I admitted as I followed behind him, still holding the dress. 

He released a tired sigh and turned to me, stopping me in my tracks. "What do you want Nicole?" he asked in a harsh tone, "You are really confusing me, you say you would rather not be around me, but you don't want me to leave either. You have to pick a side, do you want me to leave, or do you want me to stay?"

"I don't want anything," I whispered, with my eyes focused on the dress, because I would rather not look at his face.

"Great. Well, I know what I want," he informed me, "And what I want right now, is some space away from you to sort my thoughts because apparently, I cannot think straight with you around. You signed a f*****g contract Nicole, and I did not force you to. But you do not miss a chance to villainize me every chance you get, and I'm trying to be understanding here," 

He took a step closer to me and I willed myself to stay still and not step back, but as he continued all I wanted to do was recoil into a shell and cry. "I know s**t is hard on you. You're in a new country, with a new family away from everything you have always known. I f*****g understand, and I wish you do not have to go through this, but I do not know how many times I have to explain to you that you will not last 24 hours anywhere else outside these walls."

"But you can make it easier to be here by not taking me to that basement," I fought to hold back the tears that threatened to pour again, "it's really scary down there, especially when you leave," 

I could not help the relief that washed through me when he stretched his hand out to hold me again. This time, I easily relaxed into the grip from his firm hands and it took a lot of restraint to not rest my head on his chest. "You have to understand that I have needs, Nicole," he held my chin up and forced my eyes to meet his, "needs that grow every f*****g time I'm close to you. Needs that I cannot suppress even if I try. Needs that make me want to hold you against a wall and spank your sweet little ass every time you talk back. I am not used to having such a defiant yet innocent woman around me, and while you are a most welcome breath of fresh air into my life, you only make it more difficult to maintain my control every day." 

He threw his head back and huffed a sigh and I had to hold back from kissing his neck, thankfully, he looked back down at me. "And since you hate that basement so much, I will not take you there, unless it super important."

"So there is a clause," I snorted. 

"By super important, I mean completely unavoidable," he continued. 

"What if I do not do anything to make you punish me," I flashed him a small smile. 

"That would mean taking the Nicole out of you," a low laugh rumbled from his chest that made my stomach flutter. "By the way, I don't want you to stop being Nicole." 

"Thank you, Adrian," I whispered and stood on my toes to kiss him on his chin. "You're kissing me on your own," he chuckled and held me tighter. 

"It's just a small kiss," I giggled. 

"Well maybe we should make it bigger," he leaned down and captured my lips in his before I got the chance to respond. He kissed me hard and raw as his tongue explored my mouth in a way that left me hot and frantic and needy for more. 

When he broke the kiss, I was too dazed to stand on my own and I was grateful for his hands holding my jittery legs from giving up on me. He smirked as he brushed his thumb over my lips softly. "It's time to get ready," 

"Hmm?" I asked trying to regain composure. 

"My mom's a handful, you do not want to meet her unprepared." 

"Oh okay, are you still going out?" I asked, silently willing him to stay here with me.

"I have to do some work too, and I was not joking when I said it's hard to think clearly around you," he must have seen the disappointment plastered across my face because he quickly rephrased his words, "what I mean is, the only thing I can think about when I'm with you is you and all the things I want to do with you," he leaned down and kissed my neck, "there's no room for anything else except you when you're around me."

Despite my best efforts, I could not hold back the blush that crept up my cheeks at his words. He pressed a kiss on my forehead and tweaked my nose before heading toward the door. "I'll see you later today, get ready."