'You're the light, you're the night, you're the colour of my blood, you're the cure, you're the pain, you're the only thing I wanna touch, never knew that it could mean so much, so much, you're the fear, I don't care cause I've never been so high, follow me through the dark, let me take you past the satellites, you can see the world you brought to life, to life'
~ Ellie Goulding
Aria's P.O.V.
Smile Aria.
Stand with a straight back, Aria.
Don't slouch, Aria.
Be polite, Aria.
Show everyone how happy you are when really your heart is breaking on the inside, Aria.
These lines have been repeating like a mantra in my mind ever since I returned back to the grand hall with Serena and I had to act my little ass off so that nobody would suspect a thing while on the inside I was breaking into millions of little pieces at my famiglia's betrayal and harshness.
I was also riddled with anxiety because all I wanted was to leave and get away from this toxic world but I couldn't because I had to be careful and I had to be smart and discreet about this because if I don't and I act up then not only will my life be put on the line but so will my sister's as well.
That's why I'm walking around my wedding party acting like the perfect bride, the perfect future Donna to the Castillo famiglia and the perfect wife to my husband.
Even as I watched him chat up and dare I say get flirty with some of our female guests, my smile never wavered and neither did my perfect Aria act which almost slipped a few times when I saw one of the women whom Jordan seems to have favoured.
There's this one girl in particular who he's been giving most, if not all of his attention to and she's a beautiful girl with golden tanned skin just like me, she's got shoulder-length, caramel blonde hair and her body looks fake from head to toe.
It looks like when she went to see her plastic surgeon and he asked her what work do you want done? she just said yes, that's how fake she is, she's got fake hair, fake nose, fake boobs, fake ass, fake everything.
I don't normally judge anyone who gets work done because you do you, you hear me? especially if it makes you feel confident and gives your self-esteem a boost but this girl right here is the literal definition of the word overkill.
"Sorella, oh my god, you look so beautiful"
My fifteen-year-old sister Leah says excitedly and I smile at her.
"Thank you, sorrellina, you look beautiful too" (Little sister)
"Thanks but I'm not half as beautiful as you are, Ari, Jordan's really lucky to have you, sorella"
She says and my heart hurts from her words but I still continued to smile.
"You're a Moliano Leah, you're just as beautiful as I am, as Serena is and as mama is"
"You think so?"
She asks sounding hopeful and I nod my head as I fix a few stray hairs on Leah's head.
"I know so, kiddo"
"Thanks, Ari"
Leah hugged me and I hugged her back.
"You're welcome, honey"
Leah then ran off to be with her friends and I was left standing all alone for about a minute or so before I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and felt a wet kiss on my neck.
Normally, I'd welcome this kind of affection with open arms but now I just feel disgusted and dirty as numerous thoughts and questions ran through my mind.
Questions such as who else has he done this with? how many women has he kissed like this? how many women has he flirted with behind my back? how many women has he f****d behind my back? has he slept with any of them today or during our wedding? you know the normal stuff.
"There's my beautiful, wifey, where have you been hiding, il mio mondo?" (My world)
Jordan asked me and I had to suppress a scoff whilst stopping myself from rolling my eyes at his term of endearment for me.
"I've been here socialising with our guests, Jordan"
I said with a smile which instantly froze and I felt dread wash over me when I realised that I had just called him by his name which caused Jordan's body to stiffen as the kiss he was placing on my neck halted.
Jordan then looked up at me with a confused and angry expression on his face which made my heart skip a beat because I knew the exact reason why he was looking at me like this.
"Jordan? since when did you start calling me by my name, gattino?"
He asked through gritted teeth and I gulped.
Jordan has never hurt me and as much as I hate to say this, I think he loves me way too much to ever hurt me, at least physically anyway since we all know he's currently causing me mental and emotional pain but he does tend to get angry with me, especially when I call him by his actual name instead of one of the affectionate pet names that he prefers which aren't anything special just your generic babe, baby or love.
"Sorry babe, I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed and tired right now, it's been a long day after all"
"It's ok, love"
Jordan said with a smile as he kissed my temple before his lips drifted down to my ear and the bile I was holding down from calling him babe was threatening to come back up again when he said what he said next in my ear.
"I hope you're not too tired, my little gattino because I've waited two whole years to pop your ripe little cherry and I plan on doing so tonight and making love to you all night long"
He whispered the last part before kissing just below my ear.
Urgh!!.
"Don Castillo, Donna Castillo, congratulations on your wedding"
A sickly sweet voice says and I almost gagged on my champagne when I realised who the voice belonged to.
"Thank you, Ria...sweetheart"
Jordan urged me when he realised I wasn't answering his potential w***e.
"Yeah, thanks"
"It's a beautiful wedding, Mrs Castillo, you're one lucky woman"
Ria says with a smirk whilst saying Mrs in a mocking kind of way.
This b***h thinks I'm some wallflower but I'm not.
I've always been the rebellious one out of the Moliano kids.
I mean, I've never done anything too extreme obviously because of who I belong to but I'm still known to push the line and I've got a mouth on me when I'm around my sisters and my friends.
I'm also known to be a subtle b***h as well when I'm around the men and this b***h was about to discover that I'm not the one to be messed with.
"You're right, Rachel..."
"Ria"
She says through gritted teeth and I smile at her.
"Oops sorry, my mistake"
I say with a smirk and she sneers at me.
"Anyway, like I was saying Ria you're right, I am the luckiest woman in the world, I've got a handsome husband who LOVES me more than anything or anyone, I'm the future Donna of the biggest mafia famiglia in the world, the only way is up for me...what about you?"
I ask sounding sweet but I was anything but.
I know the one thing a mistress hates more than anything is the fact that she'll always come second to her lover's wife and she'll never enjoy any of the perks that come from being his main girl.
Now, I don't know for sure if she's Jordan's mistress because I don't have any hardcore proof but I'm around ninety-nine percent sure that she is and seeing the venom and jealousy in her eyes is enough to give me some kind of satisfaction tonight.
"You..."
"That's all, Ria, move along"
Jordan said sternly as he glared at Ria who didn't look happy, if anything, she looked pissed and annoyed but she soon stomped away like the child she is but not before sending one last glare my way.
Aww, how cute.
I thought to myself smugly.
"What was that about, Aria?"
Jordan asked sounding annoyed when his little hoe was out of earshot.
"What was what about, love?"
I asked as I looked up at him with the best naïve/innocent look I could muster.
"You know what, Aria Castillo?"
Jordan said through gritted teeth whilst glaring at me as I shuddered with disgust at the use of my married name.
As much as I wanted to glare back at him and tell him to go and f**k himself with a rusty rod, I didn't, instead, I remained calm and kept my composure as I looked up at him with a sweet and innocent expression.
"I'm so sorry, baby, she said I was the luckiest woman in the world and I just pointed out all of the ways that I am...I'm sorry, I'll keep my mouth shut next time"
I said whilst meekly dropping my head.
Jordan then sighed as he gently gripped my chin and forced me to look back at him as he rested his forehead against mine.
"Don't be sorry, gattino, in fact, I'm the one who should be sorry, I overreacted and I didn't mean to"
He whispered huskily against my lips before leaning in to kiss me but before he could, the sound of metal clinking against glass fortunately broke us apart and our gazes narrowed towards the dance floor where my father and mother-in-law were standing looking proud and poised.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we want to thank you all for joining us here tonight to celebrate the joyous union of your future Don and Donna, my son Jordan Castillo and his beautiful wife Aria"
Don Romano said with a smile which made me wanna puke as everyone around us clapped.
"My wife and I can't even begin to describe how unbelievably happy and proud we are of you two kids, we love you both so much and we can't wait to watch you both start your married life together and take the Castillo empire to new heights, oh and maybe a grandkid or two would be nice too"
He says and everyone laughs as I smile the fakest smile I've ever had to fake in my life, especially when my husband whispered something in my ear, words that at one point in time would've had butterflies and chimps dancing around in my stomach but now they just make me feel sick and empty.
"I can't wait to see your belly round with our babies, Ari"
Jordan said as his hands rested on my flat stomach.
His words were beautiful but then just as Frank and Nancy Sinatra once said he had to go and spoil it all by saying something stupid, except his next words weren't I love you.
"Just the thought of cumming inside of you and getting you pregnant, Aria, is making my c**k so f*****g hard, my little gattino"
And he's not lying.
I can literally feel his very large appendage rubbing up against my ass as we speak.
"I can't wait for us to be a mama and papa to our kids, Ari...are you excited, baby?"
Nope.
I used to be excited but then you stole all of that excitement away from me when you revealed you're nothing but a misogynistic, adulterous prick.
These are the words that I wished I could say to him but I couldn't for obvious reasons.
"Ari..."
"Of course, I'm excited, babe"
"Good girl"
Don't throw up, Ari, do NOT throw up.
"Now, we'd like to welcome our son and daughter to the dance floor for their first dance"
Don Romano announced and everyone clapped as Jordan, ever the perfect f*****g gentleman grabbed hold of my hand and placed a kiss on the back of it before leading us towards where the dance floor is.
His actions earned us many awws and coos from our guests, as well as several comments, some nice and some not so nice from our female guests.
"They're such a beautiful couple"
"They sure are, Donna Aria is so lucky, her husband is a handsome young man"
"He's so sexy and muscular"
"Yes, he is and he's hung as well, I heard from my sister Loretta that he's appeso come uno stallone" (Hung like a stallion)
What the f**k?.
Loretta? as in my f*****g cousin Loretta?.
"Really? I wonder if he'll f**k me as well, I'd happily be his mistress if it meant I could get a taste of his sexy ass"
"No, he won't jailbait, you're only fifteen for f***s sake"
I heard two kids say and I almost lost it.
"Are you ok, gattino?"
"I'm fine"
I said as Jordan and I started our first dance and I had to take several deep inhales and exhales to stop myself from crying as I felt my heart rip into millions of more little pieces, if that's even possible just from hearing the words to the song.
I picked this song because I thought it was a strong and powerful love song, not to mention a beautiful one but now each word sounds like it's mocking me, especially when it got to the chorus and Jordan had to make it s****l.
"I can't wait to touch you later on, baby, I can't wait to touch, lick, kiss and suck on every square inch of your beautiful delectable body"
"Is that all you care about, Jordan? I'm starting to think you only married me for s*x"
I say feeling fed up.
"Once again with the Jordan, Ari"
He says and I glare at him.
"It's your name, for god's sake, what do you want me to do? only call you babe, baby, love or darling for the rest of our lives?"
I ask him and he smirks at me.
I was then startled when he briefly kissed me before guiding his lips to my ear.
"I love it when you get feisty with me, Aria it's a massive turn on"
Urgh!!.
"But you need to remember who the f**k I am and keep that s**t behind closed doors, do you understand me? I can't have the famiglia thinking I can't control my own wife because she's misbehaving in public"
Whatever you say, Don.
I thought to myself whilst mentally rolling my eyes.
"Yes, love"
"Good girl"
Jordan said with a smirk as he buried his face in my neck.
"Where's Serena? she should be here so that she can dance with Marco after Jordan and Aria"
"I don't know, honey"
I heard my mama and papa's hushed whispers as I subtly looked around the room for my sister.
I was starting to worry when I didn't see Serena anywhere but then I spotted her walking back into the room whilst running a hand through her hair as she looked me in the eyes which was the signal we had come up with to say we're good to go without actually saying it.
All I needed to do now was to find the perfect moment to get away without anyone noticing or suspecting something was up.
"There you are, Serena, where were you, mi figlia? (My daughter)
"Sorry mama, I needed the bathroom and I couldn't wait"
"You pick your moments, my dear Serena"
My papa groaned and I smiled as Serena winked at me.
After our first dance was finished, I made an excuse to Jordan that I needed the toilet so that he would let me go without suspecting me.
He said ok and kissed me before releasing me from his grip.
I then headed up to the suite which was supposed to be mine and Jordan's for the night and the first thing I noticed when I looked around the room was how beautiful it was and the second thing I noticed was a black holdall bag with a note on it hidden by my side of the bed.
I walked over to it and knelt down picking up the note as I did and it said 'Sorella, inside of this bag is a change of clothes, a wig, a ballcap and some glasses, as well as a burner phone, get ready and text me when you're done and we'll go from there doll, don't worry about any clothes or s**t like that, I've got you sorted, babe, love S X'.
My eyes filled with tears but I didn't let any of them drop because now wasn't the time for tears or emotions, now was the time for me to woman up and get my ass out of this hellhole even if it meant leaving behind so many people who I loved and adored in the process.
I let out a breath as I stood up and attempted to unzip my dress but it wouldn't budge, the goddamned thing was stuck.
Oh God, please don't fail me now, not when I need you the most, Lord.
I tugged several more times on the zipper before my actions came to a screeching halt when I heard a familiar, husky voice coming from behind me.
"Need some help with that, babe?"
Oh no.