Unapologetically Me

Peppering his throat with kisses, I straddled him and moved my hands over his broad, muscular shoulders. I ground my hips against him and took delight in hearing him groan beneath me. It sent shivers of ecstasy down to my core. I moved my lips to cover his and felt his hands on my shoulders push me gently from his lap. I landed unceremoniously onto the cream colored carpet of the bedroom we had borrowed at one of our mutual friends' party. "What the f*ck, Dex!?" I stood up and smoothed down my white mini-skirt and fixed my blue knit crop top. "I've told you before, Kelly, I don't like when you kiss me after you go down on me. It's disgusting." I felt my cheeks flame and I grabbed my denim jacket from next to him on the end of the bed and pulled it on. "Did you have to push me to the floor? Jeez." I flipped my hair over my shoulder and walked to the floor length mirror in the corner of the bedroom. I fixed my long, wavy blonde hair back into place and glanced back at him. "I'm sorry. I've just told you every time we do this that I don't like it and you just don't seem to get it. I don't want to taste my own d*ck." "Sorry. I just thought that you were into it just as much as I was." "I was, but you know we don't have that much time. Alicia is going to start wondering where I'm at, and I really don't need the drama." I stopped dabbing on my lip gloss and turned to look at him. "You said you broke up with her." "Well, I haven't gotten around to it." "Dex, I told you I wasn't going to do this with you anymore unless you broke up with her. You literally told me before we came in here that you did." My stomach turned. He was doing it again. When was I ever going to learn? Was I so horny that I just agreed to whatever he wanted? We didn't have sex. We never did. He was always with Alicia and would always come running to me when they would get into fights. I always told him that I wouldn't have sex with him until we were together. I thought tonight would be the night that we would, seeing as he told me he broke up with her, but...again I was stupid and fell for his lies. I glared at him and felt my eyes begin to tear up. He sat there looking so f*cking gorgeous I couldn't stand it. Dexter had always been my crush from the moment I met him in kindergarten. He had this auburn hair that tended to get more red when he was in the sunlight. He had a cute sprinkling of freckles on his nose and cheeks that always made me want to sit and count them when we were together. He maintained a golden tan all year long and had the most perfect teeth. His eyes were a chocolate brown that made me melt when he'd look at me a certain way. He was about five foot nine inches, a good eight inches taller than me. He wasn't the tallest, but he made up for it with the muscles. He worked out non stop and had the biggest biceps I had ever seen. He was a linebacker in our school's football team, so he had to be strong. He stood up and straightened his baby blue polo shirt. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Don't start your crying bullsh*t, Kelly." I felt my bottom lip quiver and I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "If you don't break up with her tonight, Dexter, I will never speak to you again. I'm not joking this time. You keep jerking me around like I'm your little play thing and I'm sick and tired of it." He chuckled and waved me away. "Whatever. You'll come back. You always do. And I bet next time you'll be so horny you finally let me f*ck you." I grabbed the closest thing I could find next to me and threw it directly at his head. He ducked and guffawed before he left the bedroom. I sobbed and dabbed at the corners of my eyes so I wouldn't mess up my makeup. I was so pathetic. How in the hell could I have fallen for such a piece of sh*t like him? And he was right, no matter what I said, I always came running back to him. I fixed myself up again and left the room shortly after him. The smell of beer and sweat filled my senses and I wrinkled my nose. I hated these stupid parties, but it was where I came to be with him. That and I followed Chloe here because she would come to be with her boyfriend. I passed by a group of stoners and walked down the stairs, bumping shoulders with people on my way down. I peered around the masses of sweaty, drunk bodies to see if I could spot Chloe and her giant hunk of a boyfriend. They were my ride home. I caught a glimpse of Dexter with his tongue down Alicia's throat, pressing her up against a wall with his big, grubby fingers over her chest and my throat ached again. I shook my head and decided I just needed to go. I didn't want to be around this anymore. I didn't care if I had to walk home, I would do it just so that I didn't have to see him treat me like this anymore. And I know that being with someone who has a significant other is bad. I knew that it would cause me heartache and blah blah blah. I originally hadn't planned on getting with a taken person. All I knew was one night Alicia had gone out of town and we were hanging out in his basement with a few of our friends and then he kissed me and it started a trainwreck of a relationship between us. I wasted a full year of bowing to his every beck and call, waiting for him to come through with his promise to break up with her for me. Not anymore. The night was warm still, despite it being late in September. The air was dry and I could feel the sweat start to form on my forehead as I walked down the sidewalk feeling like the world's stupidest person alive. It wasn't the smartest idea to walk around at night by myself in Las Vegas, but I had gotten to the point of not giving a crap anymore. Dexter made me feel crazy and I hated it. I walked slowly, not knowing where I was going to go. The best and closest option was Chloe's house, but I knew she wasn't home yet. Her boyfriend was close friends with Dexter, so he'd probably want to hang out now that Dexter had reappeared. I thought about ordering an Uber to take me home, but I really didn't feel like being there tonight. As I contemplated, I completely spaced out and didn't realize a car was following me until it was sidling right next to me and a loud, obnoxious voice was calling my name. I froze, scared sh*tless for a second. "Kelly! Is that you?" I turned and glared at the passenger hanging out of an old, silver Honda Civic. Michael, Dexter's younger brother, called me and pointed at me when he realized I was, in fact, Kelly. The driver glanced at me, then into his rearview mirror. He was slightly familiar only because I had seen him a few times at Dexter's house hanging out with Michael. I think I also had a class with him, but I wasn't too sure. He had a mop of dark, brown hair over his forehead and black rectangular glasses perched on a short, pointed nose. "What? Yeah, it's me. What do you want?" "You shouldn't be walking around here by yourself! Do you need a ride home? I'm sure James won't mind, right?" He patted the top of the car, his body hanging halfway out. The driver, James, nodded and continued to follow me, since I hadn't stopped walking. "No. Thanks. I don't want to go home." "Okay, well, then hang out with us! You just can't be walking around out here alone!" I rolled my eyes and wiped my face before turning to the car. They were on the wrong side of the street and James kept looking at the road, making sure no one was coming. "What are you guys going to be doing?" "Hang out at James' house and play video games. We stole some drinks from the party and James has a nice stash of weed at his house." "Just you and James?" "And you and his brother if you agree to come." I sighed and weighed out my options. If I went home now, my dad would flip out because I was crying and he'd want to know why. I couldn't disclose that his daughter was a man-stealing whore, so I couldn't do that. My originals plan was to stay with Chloe, but she was MIA, so what would it hurt? "If I go, you can't say sh*t to your brother, understand?" "Trouble in paradise?" He taunted. I glared at him and stomped to the back of the car. James came to a complete stop and I climbed in. The car smelled of car freshener and cigarettes. I buckled up and sighed. "For real, Michael, can you not even mention me to him?" "Yeah, sure. What did he do now?" "Same as usual. Just a complete d*ck." "I'm telling you, Kel, you fell in love with the wrong brother. He may have all the looks, but I've got brains and a bigger d*ck. You might want to look into trading up." He winked at me and I scowled at him. He laughed and elbowed his friend who gave a small chuckle. "Only choose Michael if you like gherkins. He's all talk." They laughed and I cracked a smile. I still felt crappy, but at least I knew that they were good for a laugh. I needed that now more than ever. James took off through the nice neighborhood fast and I cringed. It didn't take too long before he drove into a cul-de-sac and parked at the biggest house on the end. There were small bicycles lined up by the garage and the lawn was nicely kept. He had a basketball hoop above the garage and like four cars parked at his home. He parked on the street next to the house and we got out. James held a finger to his lips as we made our way inside via the garage. We entered into a kitchen that looked like it had the lastest and greatest in gadgets and went out into a hallway with a stairs. He led us away from the stairs down a hall to a door that led down into the basement. I grabbed at Michael's shirt as we made our way down into the darkness and only let go when they turned on the light. Immediately upon entering, James swooped down and began picking dirty clothes up off of the ground of his bedroom. He turned, his cheeks pink as Michael swooped past him and walked to a giant computer set up in the corner of the expansive basement bedroom. It smelled slightly of dirty socks and fabric freshener. "Okay, so what should we do first?"