Connection - Golden Lycans Sequel 3/3 [in progress]

I No Longer Wish to Feel This Way

***Ophelia***

Three days of mind-numbing orientation are finally over.

And yet... I’m already looking forward to Monday.

Next Wednesday afternoon is sports team tryouts. I was on the team back at Exton, so it feels natural to sign up here too. Next week’s going to be busy—but right now? No homework, no chores... nothing.

It’s seven o'clock and I’m wide awake. Last night we went to a quiz at the campus social club and did reasonably well. With so many sharp, talented people here, coming second made sense—even with our impressively broad pool of knowledge.

Maddy had current events, the arts, entertainment, and fashion down. Ash knew a surprising amount about practically every sport. And Ares? Ares had this bizarre stash of random facts from all over the place. He might lack social skills, but it’s like someone uploaded an entire library into his brain. Homeschooled or not, he’s clearly incredibly clever.

As I stare out the big window of my bedroom, I realise—I quite like all my housemates.

Maddy has calmed down... a little. She’s still feisty, bold, and unapologetically confident. It’s hard not to admire her. Just a little. She’s been nicer to Ares since learning he was homeschooled, and he’s started to relax because of that.

Ares is quiet. But behind those dark eyes, I can tell there’s a lot going on. I just hope he opens up more over time.

Ash, meanwhile, is a level-headed, superhuman, egg-munching supermodel. Every morning he’s up early doing calisthenics, and it’s not unusual to see him drop for thirty push-ups or an extended plank while waiting for the kettle to boil.

This morning is no different.

I shuffle out of my room in pyjamas to find him installing a strange metal bar along the ledge that rims the central skylight.

“What is that?” I ask, curious.

“Morning, Lia. This is a pull-up bar I got permission to put in. Want to give it a go?” He chuckles, gestures, then jumps up, pulling himself effortlessly above the bar, head nearly brushing the skylight. It looks easy when Ash does it—but I know it’s not.

“Come on,” he says, grinning at me. He looks so smug. I wish I had a hint of Lycan strength to wipe the expression off his face. But realistically? I’d just dangle there.

“Maybe some other time,” I say, eyes drifting up to the pale blue sky above. If anything, I feel the urge to get outside for a jog. I used to jog at home now and then—when it wasn’t wet. I hate being cold or drenched.

“Hey, do you fancy a fry-up? I’m about to make one,” Ash offers.

“No thanks. Think I might go for that jog first,” I reply.

Ten minutes later, I’m out in the sunshine, plotting what I hope will become my route around campus. Luckily, the terrain is flat and the pathways make jogging easy. The forests on the outskirts look tempting, but I stick to the paths—last thing I need is a rolled ankle I can’t heal.

It feels good to stretch my legs. Jogging always works like a therapy session, a time to think things through. And so, as I run, I reflect on my first week at Exton.

When I get back, everyone’s up. I walk into the flat to see Maddy hanging off Ash’s new pull-up bar, her crop top riding up to show her flat, tanned stomach as she squeals and kicks her legs. Ash watches her with amusement, prepping ingredients, while Ares sits at the breakfast bar, looking like he’s been waiting for the group to emerge before cooking.

“Lia! Come try this,” Maddy calls, hopping down and rubbing her hands together.

“I’m good, thanks. Just got back from a jog,” I say, grabbing some water.

“Jogging, huh?” she says, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t get it. Total joint killer. Arthritis will come knocking.”

“Running’s kind of genetic for me,” I reply, thinking of my agile mother. She always encouraged me to jog back home.

“Now you’re back, want some?” Ash asks.

I smile and give him a thumbs up.

“Before you hop in the shower,” he says, laying bacon on the grill pan, “a guy called Curtis from downstairs stopped me this morning—said his flat’s doing a beach BBQ tonight and we’re invited. All game?”

I’m just about to answer when my phone chirps.

Dad: Morning, please meet me downstairs in exactly one hour by the tree opposite your car. I want to talk to you about a serious matter.

"Er…yeah, I'm up for that," I reply as I text my dad back.

..

After a rather tasty fry-up courtesy of Ash, I creep out of the building and head over to the wisteria tree in front of my car. Luckily, I do not need to wait too long, as I soon see my dad step through, dressed casually for a change. It's good to see him and I rush forward to hug him.

"Ophelia!" he says fondly as he squeezes me tight, "come on."

He takes my hand and whisks me through the tree back into the bottom of our garden at home. It is nice to be in the familiar surroundings of home again, especially as I know Josh isn't here. But as I ascend the slope toward the house, I feel the usual feeling of guilt setting in - guilt that I am not living up to expectation.

As I step into his office, my mother is there, and she rushes forward to hug me, even though she saw me only the other day.

"How has your first week been?" she asks, stepping back and looking at me fondly. Her expression is concerned, though. What was this serious issue that dad needed to tell me about?

"Boring, mum. But you must've known it would be. Why else would you throw that Freshers drinks event on the evening of the first day?" I ask cheekily.

"True. The most boring week of Oxford was definitely orientation week," she agrees, before stepping out the cabin and shutting the door.

"Uhh...we need to have an awkward discussion," dad says, sinking into one of the armchairs. I sit opposite him and groan as I do so.

"Dad. Really, you too? Mum already gave me the shot," I sigh.

“I wish I could say that what I want to say has nothing to do with that, but...unfortunately it kinda does," he says, leaning forward.

"Eighteen years ago the Goddess made a decision-" he says.

"I know, I know. No more mate bonds, unless your mate happened to be human,” I recount in monotone. He nods and rubs his hands together.

"Yes…but it's actually causing a lot of problems, especially in the sixth form years as alpha heirs have been coming of age."

I frown a little.

"What sort of problems?" I ask.

“To feel a mate bond...it is extraordinary. I am very sad that you, your brother and sister, and your cousins won’t ever experience it. But...as your mother and Sen have repeatedly said, it did make Lycans lazy. It was so easy for the fates to align and to have this perfect counterpart to yourself, just drop into your life. To see deeper, to find someone to love...is apparently not something our community is able to do. Still. Instead of opting for love, they are tracking down who they believe to be the most advantageous Luna or Lune for their pack. The drive for power is sadly stronger than the drive for love. While your aunt proved Lycans could love humans...they haven't. Not really. They still crave power above all else," he explains with a sigh.

"That explains the behaviour of a few of my classmates last year," I mutter.

"Exactly. It’s been causing me a lot of grief over the past two years and has made the rogue problem even worse. Even in the schools, the drive to start seeking out a highly coveted chosen mate is becoming quite strong as your generation has come of age," he continues before leaning forward in his chair and looking at me with concern, "I am acutely worried about your safety."

I can't help but laugh at his final words, and he looks at me with disappointment.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh, but...let's be reasonable for a minute. No one has any clue who I am. What I am....meant to be. Trust me...no one is going to be plucking me out of a crowd and carrying me off to their pack. Conversely, there aren't going to be higher-ranking Lycans sniffing around me hoping to join our pack. I'm not being all down and out, I am just being realistic about my circumstances. I am basically human," I say a little harshly before uttering, "I am not a worthy commodity."

"I do NOT like hearing you verbally degrade yourself. As a person you are VERY worthy, Ophelia,” he says passionately.

"Sometimes, you need to hear it, though. I worry you're a little in denial about me. Our family is just full of notable individuals, accomplishing exceptional things...but is okay to not be exceptional. I know that, and as upsetting as my circumstances are, I have come to terms with it. But I worry that you don’t think it's okay for your heir to not be exceptional," I say gently.

He shakes his head and looks back at me, Atlas causing his green eyes to glow brightly. I’ve struck a nerve.

Oops.

"I am not in denial, Ophelia. I just...know. Which is why even though you have clearly given up on the notion of your birthright, I haven't. So, please indulge me until your nineteenth birthday as previously discussed," he says with an edge to his voice.

I nod and sigh a little.

"We did agree to that," I acknowledge.

"Good. To that end, I need you to be vigilant at keeping your identity under wraps. Your mother just doesn't want to require the need for structured patrols and the like at Vale, which we have had to reintroduce at Exton this week, I'm sorry to say. It just shouldn't be that sort of place," he says, relaxing a little.

"Yeah, no problem with that. It's remarkably easy for me, being what I am...which is human," I say bitterly.

"We have discussed this at length, but when your wolf arrives-"

"-if-" I interject with an eye roll.

"-WHEN your wolf arrives, the burden of responsibility on you will be great. True leadership and power within you will be demonstrated when you learn to control and command the powerful Lycan within you. Control of an alpha is hard work at the best of times. But the power that Atlas and I have, it has been something I have struggled with on occasion. Knowing I have the upper hand in any situation by simple will...can be very intoxicatin. I have the power to be so deadly...losing control could be catastrophic. To be a Golden Lycan is to have reverence for that immense power and it requires the right person, the right frame of mind, to control it," he explains.

"Mhmm," I agree, having had this 'control yourself' conversation several times before.

"Another part of that is knowing that true leadership and power do not come from the colour of your fur. It will be from the person you invite into your heart. A union based on love, respect and honour will always be so much stronger than one manufactured and forced due to physical strength and power," he says, leaning forward once again, "when I first saw your mother…goddess, I knew that if your grandfather knew what was going through my mind, he'd would have had a fit. If he knew his heir was becoming steadily infatuated by a human girl...ha...well...obviously he'd have been wrong, because arguably no one on this planet could have done for me what your mother has done. But...my point is Ophelia: I want you to go with your gut. The man...or woman...you choose to love with all of your heart will be the perfect counterpart for you. Whatever their species or gender, or rank...as long as they fill you with light, warmth, an undeniable feeling of home and excitement for the future...they're the right person to help you lead this pack."

I smile back at him and I nod heartily.

"I know," I say with a little sniff, "you didn't need to tell me that. Because you and mum have been the greatest example...actually, all of you have. But also...I know that I could fall in love with a toad, and you'd be happy for me. As long as I was happy."

Dad laughs, and he smiles warmly at my words.

"I am very glad you know that. When I first met your Nan and Grandad, I worried they had found me too boring for your mother. My life, up to that point, had all been about being the best heir to my father. None of it was about being the best version of myself. None of it was about enjoy myself. Your mother told me on the train that evening, that we would do things differently. Our kids would be allowed to become the people they were meant to be, before anything else. I hope we did right by that…I do want you ready, Ophelia, but I want you to be happy, above all else.”

"I think you guys did pretty okay," I say fondly, with tears stinging my eyes, my feeling of being a failure coming back full-throttle, "which is WHY I find it so hard to be less than what you need me to be. I no longer wish to feel this way!"

He gets up from the chair and knees down in front of me on the floor—still taller than the person who is now the shortest Landry. He hugs me tight, and he strokes my hair as a few tears escape.

I am annoyed with myself for breaking down, right now. In front of my father...my alpha...

It was so easy to keep this bottled up while at Vale, while pretending to be human...

"I'm sorry!" I say quickly, pulling away from him and wiping my eyes.

"I know, Ophelia. I know that it hurts you. It hurts me too, but NOT because I am disappointed that you aren't like everyone else's heir. But because I don't ever want to see my child hurt like this," he says, cupping my face with his hand, "but, I will worry more about your safety because of that."

I nod and clench my jaw a little.

"I'm so weak," I say sadly. He nods and chuckles a little.

"You know basic self-defence even if you haven't been able to join in with the normal training sessions. Consider some weight training, perhaps. Your mother showed me the gym at Vale and it's marvellous. It's...better than the one we have here..."

I laugh and wipe my face again.

"Mum did room me with a calisthenics addict," I laugh.

"Devon's boy...yeah. Your mum told me. She said she wouldn't be surprised if you developed a bit of a crush on him!" he teases. I roll my eyes.

"Oh dear. Yes, Ash is very handsome and I won’t lie, he is delicious. He's so nice and he's super sweet...I wouldn't rule him out....but I just...I don't know, I get brother vibes, perhaps? I don't really know, I am really not focussing on that kind of thing," I muse.

"It's been one week, Ophelia. Don't write a guy off because he's 'super sweet', and you do not have to be focussing on something for it to happen to you," he says knowingly, before standing up.

"So...you dragged me back here to tell me to make sure that one day, I hopefully fall in love with a good guy?" I ask with a smirk.

"Mainly to be careful and mindful of your safety in these times. But also to keep your heart open. I want my children to seek love, not power," he says, walking over to the door, "and also because I'm making bouillabaisse for lunch."

"Oh! I love that!" I reply excitedly.

"I know; why else would I make it?"

...

***Ella***

At two o'clock, after he had just dropped Ophelia off through the tree again, Austin returns to the kitchen as I clear up the remains of lunch.

"How did your chat go?" I ask, having not asked privately while Ophelia was here. He comes up beside me and slides his arms around my waist.

"Yeah, I explained that she needs to keep herself safe without going into the harsh reality of it. I told her to follow her gut and heart, just like her old man did," he says, leaning closer and planting a soft kiss on my lips. I make a contented noise in my throat, because I love his soft kisses above all others.

"There is nothing old about you," I sigh as he kisses up the side of my neck, "you're probably fitter than most twenty-year-olds."

"You definitely make me feel like I am eighteen all over again," he says, his hands sliding up the back of my top.

"What is it with you and getting handsy with me by the oven?" I joke.

"It's my happy place," he jokes softly by my ear. As much as I want to indulge him right now the emotional turmoil of our daughter is still ripe in the air.

"She felt so sad to be back here, Aus," I say suddenly. He peels away and looks concerned.

"Sad...and so guilty for how being here makes her feel. Our daughter feels uncomfortable in her home, in her pack house," I add sadly.

"I guess on a positive note, she is happy and comfortable at Vale? Which is very much what you wanted," Austin points out.

"I know. I just think...maybe you should be preparing Joshua too?" I suggest tentatively. Austin drops his hands from me and sighs, and I feel his clear irritation over my suggestion.

"NO, Els. He won't even be of age when she turns nineteen. There is plenty of time for him to get up to speed. Particularly when he wants it so badly, and that is only IF he is deemed worthy," he replies, his eyes flashing at me brightly for a moment, "please...STOP bringing it up. I understand why you do, but you just don't understand how I feel about this and it is NOT your place."

I look at him pointedly for a moment.

"I know exactly how you feel about this, but you don't feel exactly how Ophelia feels!" I exclaim in frustration.

"You're right. I don't. But it doesn't change the agreement I made with her and as much as I hate to say this Els, this is a matter for the alpha, no one else" he says hotly, exiting the room.

Austin and I had never disagreed on something before.

...

***Ophelia***

The flat appears to be empty when I return.

I remove my jacket as my eyes fall on Ash's new pull-up bar. I wander up to it and I sigh a little, wondering if I truly am in any 'danger' from some power hungry Lycans.

No one around here recognised me...yet...and it wasn't like they could sense a wolf in me.

I was definitely just human to the other Lycans on campus.

I step under the bar and look up at it. It couldn't hurt, right?

I jump up and grab the bar, thankful that no one is around to see me do this. I try pulling myself up. It is very hard and I only manage a few inches before I hang there uselessly. But then, nothing worth having came without a little effort. Perhaps I could get stronger if I tried this every day? I try it a few more times until I feel burning in my upper back and shoulders and I drop back down to the floor. I readjust my t-shirt and turn around, immediately startled to see Ares leaning against the breakfast bar, looking amused at me.

"Oh f**k, where did you come from?" I exclaim in embarrassment.

"My room," he shrugs, looking up at the bar, "I thought you didn't want to do stuff like this?"

I shrug, now.

"I don't. But my dad is worried about my safety. I could be stronger,” I explain.

"I will protect you," he replies immediately, and simply. I utter a short laugh and look back at him, a little speechless.

"I would protect any of you," he clarifies. He jumps up and grabs the bar with one hand and lifts himself casually up and over the bar towards the skylight like Ash did earlier with both hands.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim, more than a little surprised. He drops down and looks a little chuffed with himself.

"I am quite strong," he says, as if it's news to him too.

"Uh huh..." I nod, looking at him strangely, "and yet you don't go to the gym?"

"No, I don't. But, your dad does not need to worry about you while you are here. Both Ash and I are strong," Ares says. Oh, bless him, Ares wouldn't be a match against a strong willed Lycan. But then nor would I, in reality.

"Thanks...."

"Where did you go? You just disappeared from this place entirely," he asks.

"Home, for a few hours. My dad came and got me," I reply honestly.

"Maddy and Ash went for a walk together," Ares explains while he goes to the fridge for a can of cola.

"Oh, you didn't join them?" I enquire as he offers me a can too.

"No," he shakes his head with a little smile, "I enjoy living here so far, but I quite often need some time to myself."

I snap open my own can and nod in agreement.

"A fellow introvert, huh?" I say with a smile.

"Fellow? You are not an introvert, Lia," he laughs.

"Yes I am. I am a lone wolf," I say a little indignantly. He shakes his head, continuing to smile at me.

"No. If there is something I have noticed about you this week, Lia, it is that you are an extrovert who is masquerading as an introvert," he says knowingly. I narrow my eyes at him.

"That's an interesting idea," I say thoughtfully, leaning on the worktop.

"There is a natural leader in you. I have caught a glimpse, once or twice," he suddenly says. His words are strange, and they hit me with a pang, particularly after just being back at the pack with my father for a few hours. There was meant to be a leader in me, after all.

I stare back at him, speechless, the door opening a few seconds later as Maddy and Ash return to the room.

"We just came across a bunch of Lycans training in the forest!" Maddy exclaims.

"It was actually incredible to watch. Really cool. I've got more ideas for my workouts, now," Ash says excitedly.

"Yeah, I bet it was," I agree.

"Only three hours until the beach BBQ is due to start. Think I might take a nap," Ash says, stretching with a yawn.

"Hmm...fancy a little spoon?" Maddy asks keenly. Ash laughs.

"Maddy..." he says with a chuckle as he shakes his head. He enters his room and shuts the door.

"His loss. I am a great little spoon," she pouts.

...

***Ares***

I was not quite sure what to expect from a bbq on a beach, but I was glad it wasn’t too many of us.

Lia was right; I was an introvert, but...I suppose the past few years of my life would do that to just about anyone.

It had been amusing to watch Lia try Ash's new bar. I shouldn't have been as surprised about my own strength, given that the gravity of the other realm was stronger, and therefore my bones were naturally denser and my muscles much stronger. But, I could feel them getting weaker in the weaker gravity. I was not sure how I measured up to other vampires or even other supernaturals, as I had never cared to find out.

Lia had not yet struck me as someone who wanted to be protected, but if she needed it, I would be there. If a need arose I would do my best to help. Lycans may be pack animals, but vampires are also very protective of those they share space with.

When it had been just Lia and I in the flat earlier, I noticed more than ever how different the scent of her blood was. I was beginning to become worried that there was something wrong with Lia, medically, a reason why her blood smelled different.

"This spot here is perfect!" says a tall guy called Curtis from the bottom flat.

He is a solid extrovert like Madeleine. Human, along with another guy called Gareth. But Natalie and Sadie from the same flat were Lycans. Natalie is a beta, Sadie a gamma. In the middle flat is Jason, another gamma lycan, Carly who is human, Talmira a female Elf and an omega Lycan called Seth.

"Not the only thing that's perfect," I hear Madeleine say to Lia, "that guy knows how to squat. I love whoever did the flat allocations, there is eye candy everywhere!"

Lia just smiles at her and says nothing.

"Come on, Lia, someone here must do it for you. You're eighteen, you're cute, you have great hair," Madeleine says to her again as they start laying out blankets, "come on....live a little."

Lia continues to say nothing as she lays down her end of a large blanket we had brought with us.

"To breathe is to live, Madeleine," I comment toward her.

"Don't get me started on YOU, Ares, with those dark, dark bedroom eyes. There is danger there and where there is danger, there is always passion," Madeleine laughs.

"One hour. She went one hour without being Maddy," Ash jokes, unloading packs of crisps and pre-packaged barbecue meats from his backpack.

"Be nice to me, Ash, or I won't help get firewood," she scolds.

A bunch of them shortly go off to get firewood and Lia sits down on the blanket, hugging her knees as she looks out at the dark ocean. I sit down next to her.

"Surely a guy who can do a one-handed muscle-up should be collecting tree trunks to use as firewood?" she says to me with an arched brow.

"Somebody has to stay to protect the blanket, and the Lia that is sitting on it," he jokes.

She laughs merrily and pulls her hands awkwardly up her sleeves as she continues to hug her knees.

I actually made a joke…

"You weren't kidding when you said that, huh?" she asks. I shake my head.

"I always mean what I say, how could anyone ever trust me, otherwise?" I ask her.

"I trust you," she immediately says to me, her eyes truthful.

Hearing her say that means a lot.

"How have you found the first week?" I ask, watching the girls from the other flats opening cans of cider.

"Good…well, boring. But I'm really excited for Monday. I'm glad I have a friend in my class to sit with," she replies, giving me a little smile.

No one had ever referred to me as a friend before.

It felt nice.

Maybe I am fitting in after all? I feel a urge of happiness about that idea.

"I am your friend," I confirm happily, looking out to the sea. I feel Lia lean against my arm, feeling her kind nature and a legitimate feeling of friendship toward me from her simple touch. I turn towards her with a smile, and I immediately flinch and jolt backwards a little, because I am in complete disbelief at what I am seeing.

“Ares, are you okay?" she asks. I stare back at her, because I cannot take my eyes away from it.

I blink hard several times and look over to the other girls, both of them appearing normally. I look back at Lia and it is still there. Her eyes look so concerned. I collect myself after a second or two and nod.

"Sorry, uh...I think I might be experiencing my first migraine. My vision, it's—I can see a visual aura," I reply, knowing that it is a legitimate thing, and it is remarkably similar to what I think is really happening to me.

"Oh no! Shortly after the visual aura ends, a migraine can quickly become very debilitating. Maybe I should get you back to the flat," she says, encouraging me to stand with her hand under my upper arm.

There is not much I can do other than to nod and allow her to do so, as the alternative and truthful explanation I could give her was not ideal.

I do not feel like explaining to her that I can see an undulating array of colours surrounding her. Navy, sea-green like her eyes, many streaks of glittering gold...it is extraordinarily beautiful and rather captivating—yet alarming.

All I wonder as we head back to the flat, is why I can suddenly see an aura for the first time.

It was not a skill any vampire had ever possessed.

But...it was a skill my mother had once had...