Connection - Golden Lycans Sequel 3/3 [in progress]

Unbalanced

***Ophelia***

"How are you doing today?" Ash asks me in a low voice while I push my granola around my bowl.

I am sat at the breakfast bar, feeling thoroughly downcast.

"I'm okay," I say blandly.

I was okay, mostly, if I didn't think about last night too much. Ash nods and grabs his usual carton of eggs out of the fridge.

"Hybrid week. Should be interesting," he comments as he starts cracking four eggs into a bowl.

"Yeah. My mum's cousin is leading the lectures today. I've not seen him in so long, it'll be good to see him, even if I can't just go up and talk to him," I tell Ash. Before he can reply, the front door opens and Maddy tiptoes in, wearing the outfit from the night before.

"Good morning Maddy, did you get lost on your way back upstairs last night?" Ash asks with a c****d eyebrow.

"Oh come on Ash; let's not pretend I wasn't shagging Seth until the early hours," Maddy giggles, sliding herself onto the stool next to me, "perhaps you heard me at a particular point." Ash stops whisking his eggs and looks at her with a bored expression.

"Nah, sorry, I didn't—slept like a baby," he says airily.

..

"Hybrids! They are a truly fascinating biological concept, aren't they?" Ares says excitedly as we take our usual seats in the lecture theatre.

"Yeah, I guess so," I reply absentmindedly as I take my tablet out to take notes. Down at the front I have just spotted Will Leighton-Carter, my mum's half-cousin, but who acted more like a brother to her, in reality. Being a hybrid himself, he was definitely an expert on the topic.

"Have you ever met one? I believe they are quite rare," Ares asks. I turn to look at him and consider my reply.

"No," I lie, having met a number of them as well as being one myself.

Will walks over to the lectern and taps the microphone a few times, and the sounds echo around the room, causing the lecture theatre to quickly fall silent.

"Good morning," he says before pausing, as he looks around the room, "well...some of you may know who I am, but for those who don't, my name is Will Leighton-Carter, and I am alpha of the Dalston Lake pack. We are the second biggest Lycan pack in the UK and I casually strolled here through a tree this morning, from where I work, as the Headmaster of Howardian Park school in York. I...am a hybrid."

He walks out from behind the lectern, and he makes a motion with his hand. There are a few gasps and bursts of delighted laughter around the room as snow begins to descend from the ceiling.

"In addition to being an alpha Lycan, I am also a powerful warlock. My father Sebastian is enjoying his retirement as our previous alpha, and my mother is a gifted witch from the Cumbria coven. Being hybrid almost destroyed my life...but it also made it what it is, too. On the surface, it probably sounds incredible, doesn't it? Being of two species, having the complete power of both? Except, for a long, long time, having control over both sides was a pipe dream. It is often an unattainable goal for many hybrids out there. It took a brief partnership with a very dark wizard, a lot of self-care, a great deal of mental healing and self-belief, to make internal balance, possible," Will says clearly, looking around at everyone in the room.

"Now, do not fool yourself into thinking that it is simple. Two parents from two species must equal a hybrid, right?" he asks the room, "...wrong. Studies conducted over the last ten years have shown that these pregnancies are very uncommon, they are very difficult, and they can result in more miscarriages and infant fatalities than by any species breeding with its own. Genetic selection also plays a part, of course, as you'll be learning in your genetics module."

There are murmurs around the room at this, and it is actually a big surprise to me too. I had no idea hybrid pregnancies weren't that common.

"Why are we introducing you to this now rather than later on after you've learned more about other species?" Will muses as he walks around the platform at the front, "mainly because I am only free this week," he says with a grin, "but also because it is important for you all to understand the delicate balance that lives inside us all, and around us every day in nature. Balance has been a constant process every second since the universe came into being. You need to know about this if you have any hope in treating hybrids, because you need to understand the absolute chaos that often reigns underneath the surface. You need to consider the problems you could face as a clinician, when dealing with all these abilities and physical traits if more than two species show up in one single body. Because I'm telling you now...it will throw you. Hybrid bodies are in constant turmoil. One side wants to speak louder than the other and in doing so, a person can become highly unbalanced. Especially in childhood and most definitely in adolescence. What is a mentally and hormonally taxing time in all our lives can be made even more complex in the lives of hybrids."

Will glances briefly up towards me and he meets my gaze.

"...and sadly, sometimes...balance fails. If that chaos becomes too much, the body has been known to suppress traits that make balance harder. When I blended with my wolf, Fabian, I had only a short time with him once I had first shifted. A highly painful experience made that much worse by the immediate loss of half of my psyche. There are hybrids among us, forced to go on every day, feeling incomplete, having lost fundamental aspects of themselves. They seem normal on the outside, but every day, they are in pain," Will says, as if directly to me, before he wanders around the front again, "imagine a body with two very powerful sides...out of balance...it can be too much for the body to handle...and sometimes, something has to give. Occasionally, it all falls away," He clicks something in his hand and the lights dim as a presentation starts.

"Time for a few case studies where this has happened, but also, the success stories. Particularly with the work my charity has recently started doing. For those of you interested in the care of the mind, this is definitely for you," he says with a smile.

..

"That lecture was by far the best one yet,” Ares says eagerly as we exit the building into a slight chill, two hours later, "imagine how incredible it must be to be a hybrid? Although, I had no idea how much hybrids struggle internally. The self-study on the sociological aspects of hybridism is going to be interesting, for sure."

I make a sound of agreement as I privately grapple with multiple points Will had made throughout the two-hour class. I had felt seen, at various points, and each time he had looked right at me, sympathy etched on his face.

He got it, even when the rest of my family didn't.

In a move that had quickly become routine behaviour, Ares and I enter the cafe for our morning fix of caffeine.

"I'll go get them," I tell him as he nods and heads to a table. I join a lengthy queue and ponder a particular moment in my life where things had drastically changed. Something Will had said had brought it straight to the surface again, a time my mum had briefly brought up again during the summer.

"I think the hallmark of a good lecture is to really make someone continue to think, once they've left the building, would you agree?" I hear a familiar voice say beside me.

I turn to face him with a smile.

"Uncle Will," I say warmly, gratefully receiving a hug from him. I take in a few streaks of grey that have appeared in his hair since I saw him perhaps six months ago.

“Ophelia. Chaos should reign inside you, with the parentage you have. Your body has elected to shut it all down, and I still cannot figure out why," Will says quietly, his expression sad, "but the loss that you feel over it all is like a chronic wound within you. You need to find some acceptance and try to start to heal. Sometimes, the greatest barrier is ourselves."

"Maybe if I knew I even had a wolf, I would feel a little less lost," I mutter, glancing toward Ares and seeing him tapping away on his laptop, thankfully not looking our way.

"But you do, Lia. Your aura tells it all, but where she is...that is the conundrum," he remarks, having looked intently at my aura for a few moments.

"You say that like she's lost somewhere or something. Wolf spirits don't get lost, Will. Never in history has a Lycan not blended," I retort.

"Perhaps she is the first one to get lost? Who can know?" he suggests.

"Well, the Goddess has been failing miserably at her job in recent times, hasn't she? So perhaps you're right? She forgot to put up the right signposts to my soul, while she was busy using my aunt as a puppet," I reply sarcastically. Will shakes his head.

"Hmm...no, I don't buy it. I don't think this is just on Her. Something else is going on, Lia. I can't explain it...I can just feel it. There is a dark shadow around the world these days and it's only getting stronger," he says, looking around me once again. He furrows his brow a little, and he looks like he wants to ask me something, but he doesn't. He just shakes his head and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Anyway, I've got to skip this queue and get my coffee before my next class. It's good to see you, Ophelia. Even better, it is good to see that you are happy," he says, glancing over my shoulder toward where Ares is, before he exits the cafe. I eventually make my way over to Ares with our drinks.

..

After lunch, I decide to go see my mother, knowing she is on campus today in the medical centre. On the way there, I can see the new basketball teams setting up on the courts and I feel downhearted that I don't get to play on any team. I give a polite nod and smile to the lady on the desk, and I go through to where my mum is. Seeing either of my parents at a computer or behind a desk, is entirely normal to me, now.

"Ophelia, it is lovely to see you," she says warmly, coming round the desk to give me a firm hug. I hadn't seen her for over two weeks.

"You too, mum," I tell her with a squeeze, "it was really nice to see Will today. Briefly. His lecture was absolutely fantastic."

"I am sure it was. He's been looking forward to this week, I won't lie," she says with a wry smile. I sit down, as does she.

"You look as though you have something on your mind," she remarks. I nod and bite my nail a little.

"Wills lecture. With some of the things he said, I...I just couldn't help but think about that time I got ill when I was eight." She shifts a little in her chair and leans forward, her expression unreadable.

"What about it?" she asks, her eyes a little fierce, and she sounds almost defensive.

"I felt so unwell. Horrendous, actually. I was burning up, had a constant headache, joints ached...and it came on so quickly. I became very delirious; I know that much. I remember being vaguely aware of having control over myself but feeling so disconnected while I moved. Then...nothing. Nothing at all, until I was suddenly totally normal again. I just...I wish I knew what happened during that missing time. How did I suddenly get better? Was that the moment I lost it all? Did both sides of me have a war? Was I unbalanced?" I question.

Mum nods and she is silent for a moment, her brow furrowed.

"Perhaps, it is time that I tell you, because it's something I have thought about a lot recently, too," she says, looking sceptical about that decision. I lean closer towards her.

"You were slipping in and out of consciousness, and right at the point I was concerned for you the most, without warning you suddenly got out of bed, and charged down the corridor. It was unexpected and you were so fast. You disappeared before anyone could stop you. The nurses and I finally found you, perhaps ten minutes later, in one of the private rooms within the maternity ward, which was a little further down the corridor from paediatrics. You were standing over a hospital cot, and inside was a black-haired baby boy. He was gripping your finger tight as you looked down at him so sweetly. He stared right back at you, utterly silent and completely still. You were making cooing sounds and...well, it was just the sweetest thing, but also the biggest relief. Because after that moment, you were better. I didn't want to question it much, I was just relieved that you were better," mum recounts, her expression as such.

"I legged it, when I was almost dying, and was found with a baby? That is strange," I comment.

"I have thought about that a few times in recent months. I don't know who that baby was. But, before you left your room, Ophelia, you had light in you. So much light. We had often worried that it was too much..." she trails off and looks so torn, like she doesn't want to tell me something else.

This is a revelation to me in itself.

"WHAT! You...you told me I never HAD light!" I exclaim in shock.

"After I found you with that baby. Your light had entirely gone, and it's never returned ever since. Not even a little. It seemed easier to suggest you never had it to begin with," she says to my great surprise.

"What? So...some baby stole it?" I ask, dumbstruck at this information, but also in disbelief that a baby had any part in it.

"I honestly have no clue what happened. That baby didn't have light either, Ophelia, but babies don't tend to anyway. All I know is you entered that room a very sick girl, with an enormous amount of light inside you...and you left a well child with no light at all. I don't know who that baby was, or what happened to them," she says with a long sigh.

"So. Some ten-year-old boy out there might somehow hold the key to what's happened to me?" I ask her. She shrugs.

"I really cannot answer that, Ophelia. I have had—theories—over the years. But I just don't know for certain," she says with an edge of finality.

"Will spoke about balance this morning. Obviously, I have heard you, Sen, Will...even Valmir, talk about balance A LOT. But today it struck a chord. What if I was just really unbalanced? Will said the body can suppress traits if balance isn't achieved. Was I too Fae, or something? Is that why I was sick? Was my body at war with myself?" I muse out loud.

"I don't think it is best to dwell on this, Ophelia. It was over ten years ago. It doesn't change anything, because only your body can balance itself. Only you can do that. I know that much," she says, tilting her head and looking at me with sad eyes. I clench my jaw and nod. The story was intriguing, but she was right, it probably didn't change much. Just that I wasn't always devoid of light.

"Anything?" I ask, like I sometimes do, looking at her hopefully. Her eyes dart around me and her expression drops. She just shakes her head, sadly.

"Not even...a little? Can't you zoom in or something?" I ask, my voice getting a little pitchy.

She takes my hand and looks at me again. Her expression changes a little this time and my heart leaps with hope.

"Yes?" I ask.

"No. I'm sorry, but there is still nothing. But since you came of age, you have so much more gold, though. You are definitely your father's true heir," she replies with a smile before realising her slight faux pas.

"Yeah...well, we shall see about that," I sigh. I then remember something, reaching into my back pocket for a list I had written earlier during breakfast.

"Can you get this for me? Get it delivered to the balcony while we are in class sometime soon?" I ask. She looks at the list.

"Ophelia, are you building a garden?" She asks with an amused expression.

"The balcony is so bare. I want more life out there. I miss the garden at home and the botanical garden at Exton. I know there are gardens everywhere, here, but I'd like one on the balcony too," I tell her. She smiles and nods.

"And yet you still struggle to think of yourself as Fae," she says softly, "this is an important step, whether you realise it or not. You want to be surrounded by life."

I know she is only being hopeful.

"I think many humans would appreciate having plants on a balcony. There isn't anything Fae about this," I assure her. She shakes her head and smiles again.

"Ophelia...right now...I understand your father's relentless insistence about you. I get it now," she says, standing up and walking around the desk. She sits on it and reaches out, taking a strand of my hair into her hands, "I just know that it is going to happen for you..."

She runs the length of my hair through her hand and smiles broadly.

"You're being a little weird, mum," I tell her with a short laugh.

"Perhaps," she admits.

...

I hadn't expected my mum to get the things I'd asked for, before I came back to the flat at the end of the same day.

"Something has changed around here, it...oh!—" Ares mutters, his head whipping to the side as he immediately spots the new additions through the glass patio doors.

Clearly very observant.

We wander out onto the balcony and look at the assorted plant pots, flat packed trellis, planters and even a shallow greenhouse cupboard. I hadn't asked for that.

"Where did this come from?" he asks, looking at me.

"I asked my mum to get it," I shrug, kneeling down on the floor and examining the plants; they were a little shabby. Hastily procured from a local garden centre that didn't take great care of their plants, and definitely not by my mother.

"How come?" Ares asks curiously.

"I just want to make it feel more like home," I reply, running my fingers over some gnarled leaves.

"What is your home like?" he asks, crouching down next to me. I look up into his dark eyes, silently jealous of what appears to be rather long lashes.

Why did guys always get the long lashes?

"Full of life," I answer with a smile, "we have a big house on a hill that runs down to the sea. All the way down, the garden is tiered and...it's the most beautiful thing. My grandmother and then my mother worked really hard on it. It has really grown and developed over the past ten years or so. There are bright colours all year round. So...this balcony feels pretty empty to me, by comparison. I want to make it beautiful, I want it to feel like a bit of home."

Ares nods with a brief smile and reaches out for one of the leaves himself.

"My mother used to maintain beautiful gardens herself," he replies, his voice full of sadness.

"Used to...is she...no longer with you?" I ask gently, knowing very little about Ares' home life. He looks confused for a brief moment until he realises his choice of words.

"In a way, she is not," he says with a sigh, "she is not the person that she used to be. She is fine. But...she can no longer maintain the same beautiful garden, no matter how hard she tries. It is never the same."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I tell him, noting the slightly furrowed brow, the pain in his eyes and the way he is looking down at the leaves on this plant. He nods and then collects himself.

"Would you like any help with this?" he says, gesturing to the array of plants. I shake my head.

"I would like that, but...this is something I feel that I need to do on my own," I tell him. Because...I needed to cling onto some hope, after all.

..

An hour or so later when my fingernails are caked in soil, Ash comes out onto the balcony, having finished his final lecture of the day with Maddy.

"Apparently the Fae love their plants," he says quietly.

"Apparently," I reply with a smirk, pressing the loose soil around the base of the plant that I had just potted.

"Today was interesting, right? I feel like I can understand you better now. Or understand why you feel the way you do, perhaps," Ash says, sitting down casually on one of the loungers nearby.

"I was wrong, Ash," I admit, my brain having been running over the conversation with my mum all the time that I'd been out here.

"Wrong?"

"Well, not wrong, as such. Misinformed. I DID have light. LOTS of it; when I was a child," I reveal. I then proceed to tell him the story that my mum had told me.

"Wow. So you think some ten-year-old boy out there is the reason you are...human?" Ash asks.

"I have no idea. Neither does my mum. All she can suggest is that it was just...too much. Then, there was nothing at all. But...something must have happened in that room. Where did it go? Why was I suddenly well again?" I shrug.

"Wonder who that boy was," Ash muses, just as the door opens and Ares steps out onto the balcony.

"Today's lectures were rather thought-provoking, weren't they?" Ares says, taking a seat next to Ash and watching me along with him.

"Definitely were, yeah," Ash agrees.

"I have just been thinking a lot about the VC's daughter. On our first day, someone in our class asked Dean about her," Ares begins, causing Ash and I to exchange a quick glance, "she is an alpha Lycan and also a faerie. What that must be like...I mean we have yet to cover the Fae, of course. But...she must be pretty powerful, right? You went to school with her, Lia, what was she like?"

I utter a short laugh, wondering what Ares would say right now if I fessed up to being her, for him to realise that she wasn't even a little powerful.

"I only knew her as human," I reply truthfully.

"I wonder what she does now, whether she is studying," Ares muses.

"I think...wherever she is, she probably has a lot on her plate," Ash says, standing up and gripping Ares' shoulder briefly before he heads inside.

"I am very good at noticing subtle changes in my environment, and in people I am around," Ares says, as I finish off the pot in front of me.

"Mhmm," I agree, having witnessed this earlier when he quickly spotted the new additions to the balcony, "it probably helps that you look at things in a...particular way."

Ares raises his eyebrows.

"I...do?" he asks. I nod and laugh a little.

"In my head, in the moment, you are like a scientist. You have this expression on your face when you're assessing something. Like...when you first tried basketball, and again when you tried bowling. I can almost imagine the cogs turning in your mind," I explain cheerfully.

"I like the metaphor of me being like a scientist. It is what I aim to be, in essence," he chuckles, "but anyway, I did notice yesterday, but I am unsure when it happened. When did you lighten your hair?"

I immediately frown at his question and shake my head.

"I haven't," I reply, a little bewildered. I wish I felt like I could. I had admittedly been too afraid of such chemicals, too afraid they could be something that tarnished my body, pushing me further than ever away from the sides of me that were so rooted in nature; what was natural.

I knew deep down that it was a dumb idea, but as time wore on, my thoughts had become a little desperate.

"But...your hair is lighter," Ares tells me. I look at him a little sadly, wishing that were true. I deeply wished to look like my mother and my Fae sisters, rather than the murky middle ground between my dark-haired Lycan father and my platinum-haired faerie mother.

"That's...not possible. It must be the light," I assure him, rubbing the soil off my hands, having finished the final pot, "as often as you are, you can't always be right, Ares."

I get up and wander back into the flat, in desperate need of soap and a nail brush.

...

***Ella***

I stand at the top of the stairs of the main lecture theatre, looking down to the front at Will as the final class of the day is leaving.

"This has always suited you. Teaching, that is," I tell him warmly as he embraces me.

"Didn't know I had it in me until you came along, Els," he chuckles. He looks at me and frowns as he lets go; nothing escapes an empath.

"Have you heard?" I ask him, my expression grave.

He nods.

"A few weeks back. Another local death, a beta, this time. Aus and I got called to the hospital in the early hours. It was Chase's son who did it. I..." I sigh and falter, rubbing my face a little, "it was easier to think they were just...bad eggs, that it was like Blackwater all over again. Heirs of bad people. But Avery was a good guy. Intelligent. Well regarded both at Exton and within the local area. He was raised by good, loving parents."

Will clips his briefcase together and looks downcast.

"Els...it's time. He's got to say something. How many deaths is it in this country, since only the spring?" he asks, his jaw clenched.

"Twenty-four," I state sadly, "Avery said it was like he had been possessed. I saw him briefly before he got taken to the Council jail; his aura didn't bear the mark of demonic possession that we’ve seen before. Nothing within him could explain it. He was just filled with pain and regret. Not the aura of a man who ever intended to harm someone."

Will shakes his head again and looks at me seriously.

"How did it go so wrong? Why didn't anyone foresee this being a side effect to Lycans losing destined mates? What is happening? You must be able to feel it too? Something is slowly creeping in all around us and I haven't a clue where it's coming from, Els. The world is starting to feel...unbalanced. Again. Just like when he was around," Will replies, referring to my father, who had been dubbed the ‘dark hybrid’.

I look into his eyes, knowing this man had been able to read me like a book for twenty-five years.

He had just echoed the same thoughts I had been having recently, ever since I had gotten back from the realm.

"I do feel it. I feel exactly what you mean, and I don't know where it's coming from either...or why," I admit. Will narrows his eyes at me and leans back a little, his expression grave and his eyes wide.

"Wow...you're actually terrified about it. Why?" he asks, his expression serious. I huff loudly, hating that he has sensed this from me before even Austin has.

"I hope it is just a feeling, but...I cannot shake the feeling that... light is draining out of this world, goodness is just being sucked out of it," I admit, noticing that voicing my fear has suddenly made it more real to me than before. Will looks up at the high ceiling for a few moments, pursing his lips tightly as he appears to be thinking.

"Draining? Where?" he asks. I laugh lightly and shrug my shoulders, perplexed over it all, myself.

"It's just a feeling, Will. Gods...I hope it's just a feeling. But it is like I can tangibly feel everything just getting duller and duller, all around me," I reply, my heart feeling heavy at the notion.

"Amoya is great, but perhaps you could consult a friend who isn't able to lose their gift of Sight if they say too much?" Will says with an unsure look. I frown at him and roll my eyes a little.

"King Valmir isn't my friend, he's James'," I retort.

"Not that ponce, I meant the mer-folk; surely you have a contact?" Will suggests. I shake my head again, having explored that avenue already, and it perfectly underlined the issue I was talking about.

"It’s impossible. Because, Will, the problem with Sight at the moment is that no one can See anything. Every single one of them, this past week, they all say the same thing; it is very hard to See anything, when the light goes out."