Giovannis
1219 Words
(Isabella)
When I got home Rodney was there, not visibly around, but I could tell by the sounds in his office. He usually stayed occupied there for a while so I decided to try to pack a bag and hide it. Maybe put it in my car, or should I pack one for here and one for my car in case?
It troubled me that I had to think like that, I already knew that he would try to prevent me from leaving and that made my stomach clench.
I was afraid, afraid in my own house of my own boyfriend.
Hopefully, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.
Flashes of us starting out started to filter through me. He asked me out on the first date and brought me to a closed restaurant that he rented out with a bouquet of roses at my doorstep. The first time that we slept together after a few dates and he lit candles all around us in the bedroom that we now shared. How he would reach across the table every time we went somewhere and held my hand looking into my eyes as if he was trying to find something. The first time that I had an episode and he stayed up rubbing my back as I cried in the bathroom soaked in my own sweat.
I had to push away those memories. For months now, that was what I clung to. The memories, but the reality was that he wasn’t like that anymore and he hadn’t been for a while.
Maybe I changed, or he did. Or maybe the person he played never really existed past the first few months. But I couldn’t keep clinging to the past hoping that he would be that person again.
I couldn’t survive that.
I threw some clothes into the only suitcase that I had. I wished I had a duffel bag and I almost laughed at the thought that I had one the other night that was now probably disposed of under Rodney’s care.
I didn’t even know what I was putting in there and then I went to the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush and toiletries. I think I knew in the back of my mind that I would need to leave tonight. Some part of me knew that even if he offered to leave I wouldn’t feel comfortable being here knowing that he had the key, and probably a spare.
I tucked the suitcase back into the closet where I found it and showered and got dressed into something a bit nicer.
Rodney was still in the office so I dried my hair and put on a bit of makeup. He didn’t emerge by the time I was ready.
I took an annoyed but calming breath as I walked up to his office, a space that was almost off-limits even though it was never spoken.
I remembered when my previous roommate lived here and we would keep our doors always open. We would study together watching bad Hallmark movies in the background.
I wondered how she was doing. I haven’t spoken to her in a while. I would change that as soon as I regained control of myself and my life.
I knocked once, with no answer, and held up my hand to knock again as the door swung open.
“What?” He was sweating, droplets glistening off his brow.
“I thought we could go to dinner,” Any confidence I had left me.
“Not now, I-.”
“No, Rodney. Now. We need to talk.” If I put this off it wouldn’t happen.
Something shifted in his face and he gave me a short nod, “Give me an hour.”
I relaxed, “I’ll make reservations,”
“Let’s just eat here.”
“No.” I said too fast, almost cutting him off, “I - we haven’t been out in ages. I want to go out.”
He studied me again with a wary look, “Fine.” Was his only response before he shut the door.
I texted Sam and let him know that I would be over in a few hours. I debated bringing my suitcase down to my car but I didn’t want to risk it, too many moving parts and I didn’t know what car we would take.
I flipped through the channels as I waited, each passing moment struck something in me until he emerged looking exasperated and didn’t glance my way as he slammed the door to the bathroom before I heard the shower turn on.
I smiled wryly, f.uck him. Sorry, I interrupted your work to have dinner with your girlfriend who you haven’t taken out in over a month.
He took the shortest shower and got changed, raking his hands through his dark hair, “Let’s go.” He said and I followed him out, grabbing my own set of keys on the way.
He was wearing a black leather jacket over a gray shirt, he might have looked nice, and I was so happy that I didn’t find him mouthwatering anymore. This morning really changed my perspective, after I finally gave myself room to think about it all.
“Where are we heading?” He asked as he unlocked the car doors.
“Giovannis. I got a last-minute reservation. They got a cancellation and remembered me from last time,” I offered a smile and he just nodded, turning the keys in the ignition.
I hoped I wasn’t making a mistake by choosing one of my favorite places as the spot we had this conversation. But they had an opening and I was desperate. Rip the bandaid off and all that s.hit.
We sat in silence, not even the radio on, as we drove the short distance to the familiar restaurant. I opened the door before he took the keys out, desperate for some air.
“Hi, sweetheart, glad you made it in.” One of the owner's bustles at the front. Giovanni's was a family-owned restaurant and I loved it not just for the incredible food but for the fact that the owners were still working there. It made it feel like you were going to your grandparents to eat.
Gosh, I loved this place I hope tonight didn’t ruin that for me.
Rodney nods to her, “Thanks for squeezing us in,” He puts an arm around my shoulder and I try not to brush it off.
“Of course, of course anytime.” I gave her a smile as we follow her to a table. The food around us smelled great but I wasn’t hungry.
“Can I get you started with something to drink before your server comes?”
“Water,” Rodney says, not looking back at her.
“A carafe of that dry white wine please.” She nods and turns from us. I picked up the menu studying it, avoiding Rodney's judgmental gaze.
She came back and sets the carafe down, pouring me a glass, I give her an appreciative nod as she tells us our server will be here soon.
“So,” Rodney raised an eyebrow, sipping at his water.
I down the glass of wine that she poured.
“I think we need to break up.”
- Writer
