The Lifetimes I Remembered

Chapter Two: Hannah

She woke up screaming.

Panting and trying to steady her erratic heart, Hannah fisted and clung to her comforter. Sweat was dripping on the side of her head and she wiped them away. She closed her eyes for a moment, counting to ten and trying to calm herself.

When she was at six, she realized that she’d been having the dream five times now.

And it always ended the same way, with someone she knew and loved dying.

But the thing was, she wasn’t even sure how she happened to know that person. All she could remember in her dreams was that she’d cry over a dead body and the pain and grief consumed her. The blame. She kept on blaming herself for their death.

And then there was a guy who hovered above her as she cried, soothing her and comforting her and telling her that she didn’t do anything wrong.

That falling in love wasn’t wrong.

Hannah sighed and tied her tangled blonde hair into a messy ponytail. She glanced at her alarm clock and wasn’t surprised when she saw the time on her analog alarm. She wasn’t surprised when she saw the shorthand on three and the long one on four.

For five times in a row, she’d been waking up at 3:04 AM with the same nightmare on repeat.

And that guy.

She kept on dreaming about the guy.

Just like how people she didn’t know but felt closed to keep dying in her dream, the same guy always hovered and hugged her and soothed the grieving version of herself in her dream. She couldn’t remember anyone that looked like him. She had met a couple of guys with the same cut and hair color that he had but she had never met someone with the same shade of blue eyes as he did.

His eyes were the color of the oceans.

Surely, someone as good-looking as him wouldn’t be too hard to remember.

Her phone suddenly glowed and she grabbed it from her nightstand and smiled when she saw who the text was from. Jake Neumaan had been giving her his attention since school began this fall and there was no denying that she loved how the mayor’s son fawned over her. But then again, everyone else always fell on her feet.

When Adele’s voice singing ‘Send my Love’ floated in her room, she immediately pressed answer. “Why are you still awake at this hour?”

Hannah giggled softly. “I could ask you the same thing. What’s got you up at the devil’s hour?”

“The angel I’m talking to,” Jake answered smoothly.

“That’s smooth, Jake but I think I remember Ben Davis inviting me over for a party.” Hannah told him, her tone amused. “I’m betting you’re drunk and wondering why I’m not there to play.”

“It’s like you’re reading my mind!” Jake exclaimed, the amazement evident in his voice. So was his drunkenness. “That’s what I love most about you, Han. You know that right?”

She felt her heart skip a beat. They weren’t in a relationship. But they were dating. They just didn’t have any labels. She didn’t do labels. Maybe having your Dad died at the age of 11 and seeing your mother completely heartbroken simply scares you. But Jake didn’t seem to mind. They held hands and kissed and went on to second base with whatever status they had. A seventeen-year-old hormonal teenage boy wouldn’t question.

“You have a designated driver right?” She asked, changing the topic because she knew that she didn’t know how she was supposed to respond to what he had said.

“That’s why I’m calling, babe.” Jake chuckled. “Could you come over and drive my car?”

With a sigh, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. It was 3 AM and she had woken up because of a nightmare. There wasn’t a chance that she could come back to sleep again even when she’d try. “Okay. Just don’t drink more. I can’t have you vomiting.”

She changed into clean jeans and her older brother’s sweatshirt. She tiptoed out of their house. It was only her and her two brothers. Mom had hospital night duty and would be home in the morning. But she wasn’t worried about her Mom. She was more worried about waking up her oldest brother, Mitch, because then she’ll be in big trouble.

Hannah successfully got out of their house and started to make her way to Ben Davis’ place. She had to take her bike to get there since it was a bit far from her place. The moment she got there, it was almost deserted. Ben’s parents were always out of town so he always held parties even when it was a school night, Ben didn’t care.

“My love!” Jake cheered when Hannah entered the house. Jake looked nothing like a mayor’s pristine son at that moment. His brown hair was disheveled and so were his clothes. He reeked of alcohol and still had a red cup in hand. “You came to save me!”

Hannah rolled her eyes and pried the red cup from him. “Let’s get you home, Jake. And let’s make sure you get there in one piece.”

Jake gave him her keys without making any comment because he knew obnoxious remarks would piss her off. It was what she liked about whatever relationship she had with him. They acted like a couple but they weren’t exactly one.

Hannah helped Jake into his car and he was almost dozing off when she put the car in gear. Just as she was about to go, his hand flew to her thigh and rested there. She glanced at him but his eyes were closed. She tried to remove his hand but he wouldn’t budge.

Jake suddenly opened his eyes and turned to her, smiling. He leaned closer and started kissing her shoulder. Hannah could smell the alcohol from his mouth. “You know you’re such a tease, Hannah. I didn’t think someone like you would be one.”

Hannah fidgeted and tried to move away from him. “Jake, stop it. You’re making me uncomfortable.”

“Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to have to stop after second base? It’s painful on my part, Hannah.” Jake hissed, grabbing her hands and restraining them. She couldn’t move. “Now is finally the time that you satisfy me, fully.”

“No, no, no.” Hannah couldn’t help it, she started crying as she tried to get herself out of her grasp. She was screaming for him to stop but the car windows were closed and no one could hear them. Everyone else was back in Ben’s house, passed out drunk or drinking themselves into oblivion. “No, Jake. Don’t do this. Don’t do this!”

Jake placed a hand over her mouth to shut her up and she bit him. There was a brief moment when his grip on her loosened and she managed to break free and punch him. Hannah also took that opportunity to run. She ran as fast as she could, as fast as her slippers would let her. She dived into someone’s backyard, a few blocks from Ben’s home, from where Jake still was.

Hannah fished out her phone from her pocket and frantically called Mitch. “Hello?”

She was hysterical when she started talking. “Mitch? Mitch, I need you. Please, come get me. I’m near Ben’s place. Please, Mitch. Please.”

It took her brother five minutes to get to where she was. When Mitch got out of the car, Hannah didn’t hesitate to run into her brother’s arms. “What the hell happened?”

But she was shaking and she couldn’t speak. She wasn’t in the right state of mind at the moment to tell him that she was almost raped. “Just get me home, please.”

Mitch helped her get in the car and he buckled her seatbelt. He looked at his little sister. “You have to tell me what happened later, okay?”`

Hannah could merely nod. “Let’s just go home.”

Mitch looked at her for a moment. “I’ll get you ice cream first.”

Hannah could feel her heart melt. Mitch was the best big brother anyone could ever have. Even when she knew that he was aching to know what the hell happened to have her be that hysterical, he was still willing to wait when she was ready to speak. And he was willing to buy her ice cream, her all-time favorite comfort food.

They were heading back home after the ice cream stop and to head back home, they had to cross the intersection. The thing was, Mitch wasn’t even driving too fast. He was driving at a steady pace, eating his ice cream while letting her little sister be comforted with the treat he bought her. There was a fleeting moment when Hannah saw what time it was.

At 4:16 AM, they crossed the intersection.

Like a flash of lightning, at 4:17, another car collided with theirs, hitting the back portion and causing

them to hit a tree with such speed and intensity.

At 4:21, Hannah saw her brother banged up and bloody.

At 4:23, her vision blurred as she tried to reach to her brother.

At 4:25, Hannah lost consciousness.

She woke up screaming.

“Hannah!” She could faintly hear someone say and through blurry eyes, she saw two people fussing around the room. “Dominic, call the doctors, quick!”

When her vision cleared, she saw a blonde woman hovering over her. Her hair was tied in a messy bun and her eyes were bloodshot. “Sweetie, hey, it’s me. Mom.”

Mom. It took her a minute to register what the woman meant. And then another for her memory to jog up who she was. But she couldn’t. For a fleeting moment, a series of images of women her age flashed in her mind and all of them she knew was Mom.

Who the hell were they, really?

The images kept coming, like a train of speeding pictures, piling up in her mind. Her brain was about to explode when the doctor arrived. “Miss Pearce. How are you feeling?”

“Like my head’s about to explode.” She answered as another doctor checked her up.

“Do you remember what happened?”

She looked at the doctor who stood tall and proud in her white gown and black stethoscope. Upon closer inspection, she saw that her doctor’s name was Dr. Brown. “Do you remember what happened?”

Did she?

She did.

The problem was, she seemed to remember a lot of things.

“Do you have an idea where you are?”

She looked around. “A hospital.”

“Do you have an idea who you are?”

All she could do was stare at Dr. Brown. The question brought a multitude of answers and she couldn’t even grasp which one was true. A thousand of names rushed through her mind and all of them felt right, all of them felt like hers.

But she knew they weren’t.

At least, not in this lifetime.

She looked at her doctor and the woman beside her, the one claiming to be Mom. She bit her lip, a habit she did when she was nervous. “I don’t remember.”

Dr. Brown nodded as if the answer wasn’t alarming. Even Mom didn’t look panicked. “We’ll run more scans. The memory loss could only be temporary due to the concussion.”

“Why did I get a concussion?”

“You really don’t remember anything?” The voice was male’s and it was the first time she heard him speak. She didn’t even see him come in the room.

“I don’t even remember my own name.” She responded, looking the guy in the eye. He was tall and broad-shouldered, hair the color of sun and eyes dark and alluring. A number of names came up to her mind when she saw his face clearly, but none of them fit him.

“You got into an accident with Mitch.” There were such bitterness and anger in his voice, it was palpable and felt. He was angry. “You went out early morning to meet with your boy toy and had Mitch pick you up.”

The name Mitch didn’t ring a bell even if my mind somehow managed to remember thousands of names. “Where is he?”

He moved closer to me and looked me dead in the eyes, his brown irises glinting with fire. “He’s dead.”

I could hear the ‘because of you’ that he didn’t add.

And all at once, everything crashed down on me and became clear.

The Nightmare. Jake’s call. Him almost raping me. Mitch picking me up. The collision.

But those weren’t the things that filled me with a sense of dread.

I remembered.

“What day is it?” She asked and they all stared at her in confusion. She saw a phone peeking out of the pocket of the other doctor. She rudely took it from his pocket and pressed the side button, waiting for it to glow and for her to see the date and time.

3:04 PM.

November 9, 2016.

I remembered everything.