The Lifetimes I Remembered

Chapter Seventeen: Hannah

With Ivan back at his home, Hannah wasn’t sure how she was supposed to spend her day. She had grown accustomed to his presence and his absence became strange for her. She went on with how she used to spend her day when he hadn’t waltzed in her life, helping her mother around the house, running errands and evidently, seeking for Dominic.

The latter proved hard on the first two days because she couldn’t find him. She was too scared to wander the forest on her own, so looking for him there was out of the picture even when she vaguely remembered a friend of his tell her that he has been spending his time with the woman everyone cast off as a witch and lived in the woods.

“Still no luck seeking the fair-headed boy you used to spend hours on end with?” Mitchell asked, downing a glass of water. He had just come back from hunting and had brought home a lamb for their mother to stew.

Hannah sighed and shook her head. “No luck finding him. The last time I saw him was when Ivan and I bumped into him in the woods. I’m too scared to go there on my own.”

Mitchell tiled his head and studied his sister. He always had that look on his face when he was trying to contemplate what he was going to say. Hannah raised an eyebrow and he rolled his eyes, conceding. “He’s with a friend. I see them sometimes when I hunt.”

“Lady friend?” Hannah inquired, wanting to know more about this new friend that Dominic spent all his time with. “Because I remember Keith telling me he’s spending his time with a witch.”

Mitchell chuckled and shook his head. “Just because she lives in the woods doesn’t mean that she’s a witch. She invited me to her house once, when I bumped into the two of them. She’s actually nice.”

“Why would she live in the woods?”

Her brother fixed her with a look. “Hannah, the issue’s not because she lives in the woods. The issue is the fact that Dominic prefers to spend his time with her and not you and you’re not used to it.”

“Mitchell…”

“Oh, don’t give me that tone, Hannah. What you’re feeling at the moment, he felt it too when you practically disposed of him when Ivan went off his high horse and introduced himself to you.”

Hannah almost slammed her hands on the table. “You know what, maybe Dominic’s not the problem here. Maybe the problem is the fact that you don’t like my betrothed.”

“My comment regarding the person you will wed doesn’t matter,” Mitchell stated, turning away. It took him another minute before he finally collected his thoughts and turned back to look at her, “But sometimes we’re too taken aback by our current predicament that we don’t stop and think of what we actually want.”

“I want to marry Ivan.”

“A childhood dream,” Mitchell said softly, “Anyone would be thrilled to have it fulfilled. But is it really what you want?”

Hannah couldn’t look at her brother. As much as she loved him, there were times when she was displeased by his wisdom. “I’m done with this conversation.”

. . .

She didn’t like the implication in Mitchell’s words. But there was a sliver of truth that rang in it. Once upon a time, she thought it would’ve been Dominic that she would’ve ended up with but it diminished the moment she found out Ivan was coming to the village. She always wanted to marry a lord and when Ivan came, it was dream come true.

But it was a childhood dream, as Mitchell pointed out, and the question that he asked echoed in her mind. Was it really what she wanted? Would it satisfy the grown woman that she had become just as it would the young girl that dreamed it?

She shook the thoughts away and it left her flustered and angry. In blind fury, she went inside the woods without reservations. Usually, she’d be scared. She never entered the forest unaccompanied but the path was familiar in her eyes and she assured herself that she wouldn’t be lost be eaten by a wild animal as she kept on going.

“The woods isn’t a place for women,” a voice from a distant called out and caused Hannah to stiffen when she heard it. She listened as the footsteps grew nearer and in front of her, her best friend materialized, “I don’t think the young lord would be thrilled to find out his betrothed is lurking around this area unguarded.”

“That’s why you’re here,” Hannah said, trying to sound like her usual self when it came to speaking to Dominic. The last time they’ve talked was when she and Ivan bumped into him in the woods or rather when he walked into their moment.

Dominic shifted his weight on his right foot, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her. “I don’t have any desire to be your guard, Lady Hannah.”

The name made her cringe even when it was everything she aspired to be. “Don’t call me that.”

His eyebrow rose. “Everyone will call you that after the wedding. I might as well get myself used to it.”

The silence that lapsed between them wasn’t the usual comfortable kind. There was a tension the air, palpable and too hard to ignore. Dominic ran a hand through his long ashy blonde hair. “I should lead you back to your house. I’m sure someone’s bound to inform Ivan that you’re not there.”

“Ivan’s back at Stormhill,” Hannah said quietly.

“That explains why you’re out by your lonesome,” Dominic commented with a crooked smile, “Since he arrived, I haven’t seen you two apart.”

“He liked my company.”

“Enough to ask for your hand in marriage.”

Hannah didn’t have the right comeback for that statement. Instead, she wandered away from Dominic, opting to take a seat on a fallen tree. Dominic could either walk away or sit beside her, she gave her that choice although knowing that he would end up accompanying her despite the palpable tension between the two of them.

When he sat beside her, she willed herself not to smile in satisfaction. “Why do I feel like I owe you an apology?”

“Because you actually do. You don’t do our nightly walks with me anymore.”

That made her pause. She remembered the conversation they had the first time she didn’t have the walk with him. “I’m sorry.”

Dominic turned to look at her and his brown eyes were warm and comforting, like a furnace on a chilly night. But she saw the war in his eyes. It was enough to let her know that he wanted to be angry but failing. Just like always. Even when he had every right to be mad at her, he couldn’t and she knew it. It was his weakness and sometimes, she used it to her advantage.

“Did it bother you?” Hannah asked, wrapping her arms around herself and peeking at Dominic.

He sighed and looked at a distant. “I knew you were having better company. I knew you were happy. Being around Ivan made you happy and if you’re happy, what gives me the right to be bitter?”

“But then, it’s not like you’re entirely alone right?” Hannah said and flashed him a teasing smile, “Keith mentioned you’ve been spending time with a girl. Although she’s the one rumored to be a witch and I wouldn’t give my blessing to you two at the moment, maybe I’ll change my mind when I meet her.”

“She’s not a witch,” Dominic automatically replied and shook his head in amusement. “Just because she lives by herself doesn’t mean she’s a witch.”

“How sure are you?”

“Because there’s no cauldron or dolls or spellbooks lying around her house.”

The fact that he said ‘her house’ meant that he’s been there a couple of times and it wasn’t a thought that sat well with Hannah. “Something must be brewing between the two of you for you to visit her house.”

Dominic couldn’t stop the smirk from his face. “Are you jealous?”

She turned to him hastily with narrowed eyes. “I am the young lord’s betrothed, why would I be jealous?”

“Because I spend more time with Maureen than you.”

Dominic had a point and Hannah knew it. While she had fun with Ivan and they could talk endlessly, she still missed the comfort and familiarity that she had with Dominic. She missed the easy chats and light banter, the fact that she didn’t have to catch herself slipping into a silly girl when it came to Dominic.

“Can we spend today together?” She blurted out and then squeezed her eyes shut, chiding herself for being so careless and blunt. She simply wanted to be with her friend but she didn’t have to sound so desperate for his company.

“You do know you didn’t have to ask?” Dominic said with a small smile. He stood up and offered a hand for her to take. “Let’s go fishing.”

Hannah made a face. “I don’t like fishing.”

Dominic chuckled as she accepted his hand to help her stand. “I know. But I could do more of the fishing and you could just be useless.”

Hannah glared at him but conceded and the two of them headed to the stream. Along the way, Dominic sharpened the makeshift spear he always brought when he headed to the forest. The sight was familiar to Hannah’s eyes, and even though it was dangerous, she felt strangely safe knowing that Dominic had it with him.

As Dominic speared the fishes, Hannah watched, like she always did and eventually, the two of them fell in the comfortable cycle that they always had. Dominic hunting and her, simply being there, sitting on a rock by the stream and chatting with him about anything under the sun that she would randomly remember and Dominic simply kept up the pace with the conversation.

“Why do you think the fishes still head up around this part of the stream even when they know that they’re being hunted at this part?” Hannah randomly asked, dipping her feet into the stream and watching as little fishes dart away, some dart towards her, nibbling at the dead skin of her feet.

“I’m not sure,” Dominic answered without preamble, “I don’t think fish.”

Hannah rolled her eyes and splashed him with water, only managing to wet his trousers and not his upper body. Dominic flashed her a grin and for a moment, she allowed herself to relax. She hated to admit it but with Dominic, she always had to put her best foot forward, watching her words to make sure she didn’t say the wrong things that would lead him to the other direction.

With Dominic, it was easy. He looked at her with raised eyebrows and asked, “What are you thinking?”

She shrugged, “How much I like spending time with you.”

A ghost of a smile graced his face and he stepped closer to her. In the shadows of the trees and under the beaming sunlight, Hannah looked beautiful as ever and it made his heart clench for in front of him was the girl he loved all his life but wasn’t his and nor shall she ever be because she was betrothed to another man, and as much as it pained him to admit, he prayed upon whoever listened that he could switch places with Ivan.

“I like spending time with you too,” Dominic said softly, meaning every single word and hoping that she read between them, hearing the words he was unable to speak, “But I guess we can’t spend much time together anymore. After the wedding, he’ll bring you to Stormhill.”

Hannah didn’t think about it. She knew it was inevitable. She was marrying a lord, become a lady of Stormhill, of course she had to reside there and that meant leaving everyone behind. Her family. Her friends. Dominic. The thought sent a pang to her heart. Who would she be without all of them?

“Maybe I can talk to Ivan into bringing you all there with me.”

Dominic snorted and sat beside her, forgetting all about the fishes he needed to spear. “I don’t think he’ll want to. He wouldn’t even be thrilled to hear you suggest it.”

“You’re making it sound like he wants me all to himself.”

“He spent every waking moment he had here with you,” Dominic pointed out.

Hannah shrugged. “You don’t think it’s sweet he wants to spend so much time with me?”

Dominic didn’t answer. He didn’t want to sound jealous. The last thing he wanted to happen was for Hannah to realize the feelings he had for her. It would cause trouble. It would make her distant to him. She was going away, he wanted to spend the remaining days she had in the village the same way they used to. It would mean the last time he would see her as Hannah, not the lady she would eventually be.

“He won’t be coming back until a few more days?” Dominic asked instead.

Hannah nodded, “Yes. Why?”

“Can we spend those days together? Like we used to?” Dominic asked, not saying that spending her remaining days would mean that it was the only time he could make himself believe that he was hers and not someone else’s betrothed, even just for a little while.

Hannah smiled, nodding and reaching for his hand for her to squeeze. “I’d love that. But wouldn’t Maureen be jealous?”

Dominic laughed and squeezed back. “No. I’m even sure that she’ll be happy to know I’m spending time with you again.”