Loving You (ManxMan)

Chapter Two

Crisanto Mendez had been perfect. He had been everything to Alfie. He had been the reason he had walked with a skip, he had been the reason behind the crinkles beside Alfie's eyes. He had been Alfie's main source of joy in the months of 2011. But by 2012, he had been the reason for many, many worse things. Things that had scared Alfie himself.

"Do you want to leave?"

Alfie was finding it hard to tear his eyes away from Crisanto. The Filipino-British man still looked the same and Alfie had this strong urge to jump into the man's arms and hug him tight. His gaze falls from Crisanto's face to the hand the footballer had around Rachel's waist. Even after all these years they were still together? He guessed the saying, birds of the same feathers flock together, was true. Alfie had to physically turn around to avoid looking at them because after all these years, his jealousy was still there, after everything he had been through he still wanted Crisanto's arms around him and not her.

"Let's find another exit."

Alfie sniffs and shakes his head. "This is the only one."

"Well, that's just dumb. What if there had been a fire, did they really expect everyone to run out one door in an orderly manner?"

Alfie lets out a not so flattering snort. "Let's just go. We can walk around them."

Arjun nods and smiles at his. Alfie tries to take a step forward but Arjun stopped him. "Let's do this." He says as he pulls a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and slides it onto Alfie's face. Alfie lets out a watery laugh as he pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose more.

"Have I told you you're amazing?"

"Yup but it doesn't hurt to hear that more often."

Alfie barks out a laugh that turns head to his direction and just like he had always dreamt of, Crisanto turns to his direction and their eyes meet. Alfie's heart stuttered and slammed against his ribcage so hard, he lost his breath. Even after all these years, Crisanto still had the power to leave him breathless. He watched as Crisanto takes a step towards him, his hand dropping from Rachel's waist.

"Do you want to talk to him?"

"No." Alfie whispered. "Let's go."

Arjun takes Alfie's hand in his and pulls him out of the room. Alfie watched Crisanto as he was pulled away, he watched as Crisanto had looked at his and Arjun's intertwined hands. He desperately wanted to let go of Arjun and run up to Crisanto, to tell him it wasn't what it seemed like. Arjun was just his friend, his straight friend who had a fiancée.

Instead he looks away. He led Arjun up the stairs, towards the direction of his classrooms. He showed Arjun where his desk had been, after the classroom, he showed Arjun his favorite balcony that overlooked the outdoor swimming the school had. Everything was still the same and the pool was glowing a soft blue with the small dots of lights the school had fixed into the sides of the pool.

"This is fancy schmacy school. How the fuck did your dad afford this?"

"He didn't. I was given a scholarship."

Alfie hadn't been from a rich home. He had a pizza delivery job while he was in school in case the school revoked the scholarship. He had been so scared, especially during his final year. He had been scared it would be taken away from him because Rachel's father had been on the school's board and the man had argued about it with the other members. Members of which included Crisanto's mothers.

The one place Alfie doesn't show Arjun was his special place. Had been their special place.

"I've got to take this call. Martin's at the bar and he's saying there's been an incident."

Alfie just nods his head. He felt guilt crawl up his body because he hadn't been paying attention to Arjun. He had just been reminiscing. He walked out of the room and back into the hallway. He takes a right and walked towards the direction of the Library. His safe place. Their safe place.

Like always it was empty. The floor to ceiling book shelves were still there, the rows and rows of books, the empty chairs and table. The windows with potted plants lining the sill. He walks towards the shelf labelled fiction and searched for it. He finds it tucked between Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda and Call Me by Your Name. He pulled out the copy of Something Like Summer and flipped it open, while taking off the sunglasses with his free hand. He goes to the last page and smiled brightly when he saw it.

I love you, you curly haired beauty. –C.A.M

And underneath that was. I love you. –A.C.A

He laughs when he reads the next line. No special names? I called you a beauty. –C.A.M

I LOVE YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL GIANT. –A.C.A

Alfie giggled when he reads the next and final line. You don't need to yell... but I LOVE YOU TOO. –C.A.M

"I knew you'd be here."

The book fell from his hand and onto the carpeted floor. He turns around to stare at Crisanto with wide eyes. Why was he here? What was he doing here? Alfie tries to take a step back but it felt like he couldn't move, he didn't want to move back, he wanted to move forward. To close the distance between them.

"It really is you." Crisanto says as he closes the distance between them with just a couple of steps and stood directly in Alfie's space, his hand reaching up to tuck a stray curl behind Alfie’s ear. "You still look the same. Fuck that. You look even better."

Alfie's cheeks heat up and he gulps. What was he meant to do here? Was he meant to say something?

"You feel the same too." Crisanto says and steps even closer, backing Alfie into one of the shelves. "You smell the same too." the man says his hands reaching down to grab Alfie and hoist him up, his hands resting underneath Alfie's thigh while the man's legs wrapped around his waist. "I wonder..." Crisanto trails off. He licks his lips and Alfie was gone.

He knows he shouldn't be doing this. He knows he shouldn't be condoning this behavior but it has been so long since he had been in Crisanto's arms.

"I wonder if you taste the same."

Alfie wasn't given a chance to talk. His words were chased back in by Crisanto's lips pushing against his own. It had happened so fast he didn't see it coming. He wraps his arms around Crisanto's shoulder and brought him closer, their lips press together but this time harsher. This time with more need and more want. Crisanto's grip on Alfie tightened as he kissed the man desperately. He pushed a hand into Crisanto's hair and gripped it tight, earning a guttural moan. Alfie's felt sparks shoot through him with each brush of Crisanto's lips and when the man trailed kisses down his neck, he had arched into the footballer and let out a loud moan, his head thrown back, lightly hitting the shelf.

More...

More...

He wanted more.

"You feel so good in my arms. You taste so good." Crisanto pants, resting his forehead against Alfie's. "I can't believe I just got to hold and kiss you again. I never thought I would after that day."

It suddenly felt like Alfie had been doused in ice cold water. He pushed Crisanto back as hard as he could so he could stumble onto his feet. He shoved him hard again and shakes his head. He wanted to point a finger at Crisanto but all his fingers were shaking so bad.

"NO. You don't get to bring that up. You broke us up. In fact, we never really were a thing, were we? You just used me and then dumped me when you had gotten what you wanted."

"Alfie I'm s-"

"Save it." Alfie snaps and turns around. He walks out of the library and thankfully ran into Arjun who had been looking around. Arjun doesn't ask questions, he just led Alfie down the stairs and out of the school.