When I look back on this moment, I'm positive that the only thing I will think is 'how the f**k did I manage to keep my composure?'
The lights from the ballroom ceiling were far too bright. They blinded me. It was as if someone had cranked them on to the highest setting. The music, though it had stopped for the moment, rang in my ears along with the hard pumping of blood in my veins. Every inch of my skin was both ice-cold and scorching hot. Every breath felt like sucking through a straw.
Shockingly, all this was easy to ignore. Because how could I be here when I was dead?
I was dead. I remembered with far too vivid clarity the blood pouring from my body and the hard, cold earth. It wasn't even half a minute ago that I'd closed my eyes for the last time, gasped my last shaking breath. Stared into the eyes of my murderer. The last thing I'd seen was her wicked, smug smile.
So, I couldn't be here, on the day when it all started, more than six months ago. My twentieth birthday party. The day she came into my life and ultimately ended it. It had to be a dream, or a vision, or some seriously cruel joke of an afterlife.
I looked down at my dress, no longer tattered and torn and covered in mud. It was red, but not with the stains of my blood. Just the perfect red I'd known would flatter my long dark hair and pale skin. My hands were smooth, not covered in defensive wounds any longer, my fingernails unbroken from clawing at the ground in a desperate attempt to escape.
My light brown eyes rose to find my parents smiling at me, along with my best friend Mia. Just like they had the first time. They weren't looking at me with pity or concern as they had begun to do in the last few weeks of my life. In fact, everyone was looking at me with love tonight. No side-long glances, no hushed conversations that stopped when I entered the room. Nobody was avoiding eye contact with me.
Everything was exactly the same.
So, had my death been the joke then? Some terrible, horrific nightmare I'd been unable to wake from? The silver knife dragging through my body felt all too real, even now. The teeth ripping into my exposed flesh was still agony. I could still hear my screams echoing off the trees. . .
No. I had died. I'd parted from this world in a storm of chaos and evil intent. Even I could not have dreamed up something so vicious. Which meant that this was all really happening, that, somehow, I'd come back to the beginning of my demise. To the very point where everything went downhill. By some miracle, the Moon Goddess was giving me a second chance.
"Evelyn."
That voice.
A thousand memories shredded my mind, coming together into one awful blur. My body turned even though I was screaming inside to stay still. I didn't want to see him. In the state I was in, I supposed it was understandable that I'd forgotten he'd made a speech tonight. A speech that was complete bullshit, given how he would treat me from now on. Regardless, I was turning, my dress swaying gracefully around me. And then I was meeting those sky-blue eyes that I'd come to hate more than anything else.
My mate, Alpha Cole of the Black Wood pack.
He was staring at me with more adoration than anyone else here tonight. His blond hair was trimmed nicely along with his darker goatee. We'd argued yesterday-months ago- about that. He wore the black suit I'd picked out with the red tie to match my dress. I stared at him, knowing exactly what he was going to say. I could have said it for him- the words would mean more coming from my own mouth anyway.
"Evie, my love. I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays. I am so lucky to have you, and I thank the Goddess every day for sending you to me. My strong, beautiful, intelligent, loving mate. Here's to another year, and may it be as blessed and happy as this one was."
He raised his glass and everyone followed suit. I stood stock still, unable to believe that I'd fallen for that shitty speel the first time. That I'd cried tears of joy, that I'd rushed into his arms to hug and kiss him. Not this time. Not ever again. I ignored when his eyebrows creased in confusion at my lack of response, instead shifting my body to face the doors. Because any second now, they were going to open and the reason for my destruction would come running in.
Exactly on cue, an ear-splitting crash reverberated through the room at the same time the huge double doors exploded inward. Guests shouted in alarm, moving away from the potential threat. I stood my ground, knowing there was nothing to fear. I tensed, waiting. When she came, it was as if in slow-motion. She was covered in blood, leaving a trail behind her. Her clothes were torn and dirty, her long, blond hair wild. I closed my eyes when she screamed, fighting against images of my final moments.
"Help! Help me, please!"
Cole called the warriors, rushing to the woman's side and catching her before she collapsed. It had to be rogues, everyone was saying. I knew better. There weren't any rogues. There was no attack.
"Tell me your name. What happened to you?" Cole asked.
Miranda.
"M-Miranda. I-I was chased h-here. R-rogues!"
Goddess, she was good. I'd forgotten how good her acting was, in the beginning. It all played out in the sequence I remembered. Just like I knew he would, Cole was barking out orders. And just like the first time, he never let go of Miranda. The only difference now was that I wasn't there beside him, soothing the 'poor girl.'
"Evelyn! Help me with her!"
My strength came back to me in a rush of rage. Rage so pure, so iron-hot, that I was surprised the floorboards under me didn't burst into flame. He wanted me to help her? Help the woman who had destroyed my life? The woman who had taken everything from me, piece by piece? The woman who had murdered me? It was too much. Even the Goddess, I was sure, would reject his plea. There were many things I wanted to do to the woman lying in my mates' arms but help wasn't one of them. What had Cole said just now? I was strong, intelligent. More so now, after everything I'd been through. Everything she put me through. I didn't know why I was getting a second chance, why the Goddess thought I was worthy of that. But I also wasn't going to waste the gift she'd given me by being as stupid as I was before. This time, I wasn't going to sit by.
I straightened my spine, my voice strong and clear when I answered him.
"No."