My Ruthless Alpha

Not the time to break

Ezra's pov

“I worry about him, he always gets so dark and gloomy when her anniversary comes around” my mother sighed, unaware I could hear her.

“You mean darker than he already is?” Dad said light-hearted, probably trying to ease my mom's worries.

“Don't say that! My son isn't dark! He's just… mourning” even a deaf man could hear the pain in her voice, and as much as I wanted to reassure her that I was alright, I couldn't.

Because she was right…

I pushed the door open and walked in to find my parents cuddled up on the couch, the sight feeling like a dagger through the chest.

“You called” I said, hating how my mother flinched from the sharp coldness of my tone. Goddess, if I could help it, I would.

They sat up slowly; my dad leaning forward while my mother still clung to his side.

“Yes son, sit” dad said, his tone a lot kinder, and with an understanding look.

He got up from the couch to sit behind his desk as I took the chair in front of him, my mother's eyes burning the side of my head from the couch.

Giving her a quick, small smile, I returned my gaze back to dad, who'd just pulled out a file from the desk drawer and pushed it towards me.

“Red Moon put in a request to expand their borders a few years ago, taking in a small town at the edge of the barrier, with permission from the townsfolk of course” dad said as I read the file detailing the reasons for their expansion.

“The attacks were very few at the time and were quickly taken care of, but they've started up again and are more focused on the town instead of the pack” dad said, making my fingers twitch, curious to know why they would target a human town.

That certainly didn't sound like something they'd do. They always focused their attacks on our pack, leaving most of the Kingdom untouched.

This was very unusual, could they be up to something?

My fingers tingled as frost covered them the more I read from the file, “taking in the town put us at great risk of exposure to the human world but they needed our protection and have agreed to keep our secrets” he continued, his words not quite registering as my curiosity turned into anger the longer I kept my eyes on the file.

So many casualties, yet one stuck out like a sore thumb, clawing at the edge of my heart as if I knew the person and I couldn't figure out why.

Gage, I needed to find out who she was.

“And it was kind of our mess to clean up” mom said, awakening a spark of determination within me.

“Their Alpha requested assistance, a few warriors to help secure their borders and keep the town safe” dad said, making me raise my eyes to look at him.

“And you want to send me?” I asked, thrilled at the opportunity to go hunting but also, reluctant, it wasn't the best timing.

“Yes, you're our best bet at putting all this to bed quickly, and quietly, and with less casualties” mom said, her gaze growing softer.

“And get me away from here” I said, trying to play it cool but knew from her horrified expression that I didn't quite pull off the face.

“No! Ezra I wouldn't… we wouldn't .. honey” my mom tried to explain but she stuttered, failing to put her words together.

It was kind of cute, watching her squirm like that.

“I know mom, don't worry” I offered her a small smile.

“You can turn it down, you know that right?” Dad asked, looking very concerned.

“I know dad” I said, turning my gaze back to him.

A beat of silence took over the room as I fought the urge to turn down the request so I could properly mourn her, but I swore to never rest until I kill every last one.

She wanted to be a hunter more than she wanted to be Queen, would this not be honoring her?

“Look, I don't know what's going on with these things, but I do know the best person to send is you. You've done an amazing job of studying and hunting them down these past two and a half years, if anyone can figure out why they're suddenly targeting a human town, it's you” mom said, sitting on the table, facing me.

“And I know you can stop them before they put our people at risk” she continued, making me realize that it was more than just killing them before they kill us.

This was much bigger than I thought.

“You have the Kingdom's resources, take all you need, whoever is willing to join you. I have a feeling this is bigger than we think” mom said, making me focus my eyes on her instead of the papers in front of me.

“And I still feel like Red Moon is keeping something from us, their expansion wasn't just about protecting the town” she continued, looking a little lost in thought.

I'd learnt to pay extra attention to her words, she's always had a way of knowing things before they happened and her words were cementing my thoughts of something bigger at play here.

“I'll take my squad and check it out first, we'll call for reinforcements if the need arises” I said, wondering how quickly I could get this done.

My mother's radiant face threatened to break in two with how wide she was smiling, and boy was it contagious.

Better leave before I find myself smiling like an i***t because my mother’s smiling.

“If that is all, I'd like to go as soon as today, it's a long drive and I hate pit stops” I said, getting up from my chair.

“Why don't you take Miranda? She was complaining to your mother that you never take her anywhere fun” dad said with a chuckle, making me roll my eyes.

“Not a chance, I hate that rat” I said, making my mother giggle.

“She's not that bad, plus, it's good to have a Pixie close by, they can hear things you can't” mom said with a wink.

“You mean spy on people for me?” I questioned with a raised brow and she shrugged.

“It's getting information, no need to call it that” she said, looking a little smug.

“It's spying and it's wrong, and no information is worth the trouble she comes with” I said, making my way towards the door.

“Notify Red Moon's Alpha that we'll be there in two days” I said, opening the door.

“Two days?! That's not possible, unless you're planning on driving all day and night!” mom exclaimed, shock and worry tainting her flawless beauty.

“Exactly” I said, smiling at her, “I want to be back here for my shift” I said, the thought of finally meeting my Lycan and shifting urging me to get this problem sorted as soon as possible.

“Are you saying you can get it done in three weeks?” Dad asked with raised eyebrows and I just smiled confidently before walking out. Yes, I was that confident in myself and my team.

“Get your things and say your goodbyes, we leave in thirty minutes” I linked my team, who I knew were eagerly waiting on the announcement.

“And that's why I don't unpack anymore” came Brody's voice, sounding quite smug.

“I'm pretty sure none of us unpack Brody” Lexie snorted.

“As my mate, I feel you should be more supportive” Brody sounded hurt but we all knew he was fooling around with his mate, and as much as I tried to be happy for them, a part of me would forever be jealous, maybe even resentful, even though what happened wasn't their fault.

“Ezra!” Mom called from behind and I turned to see her rushing to me.

“Is everything alright?” I asked, the slight worry on her face making me nervous.

She hooked her hand on mine when she finally reached me and continued on my way up the stairs.

“Mom?” I raised my eyebrows at her, wondering what it was that was eating at her, if her face was anything to go by.

“I don't know what it's like to lose my mate, so I don't know how to comfort you” she said, making my heart twist in pain as the vivid memory of her lifeless body in my arms played in my head.

“Mom…” I started but she cut me off by raising her hand.

“Listen, I know you feel abandoned by the Goddess, and when you don't, you blame yourself for what happened but it wasn't your fault” she said, her voice heavy with pain, but nothing compared to the echo vibrating through my soul.

Even though my face showed none of it.

“You are so young, and there is so much out there for you, there is someone out there for you, waiting, but you can't find her if…” the thought of being with someone else was so absurd that I couldn't hold back my tongue.

“There is no one out there for me, my mate, my Rowena, was everything, and she's gone mom! She's gone” I lost my voice when I repeated the last two words.

It felt like I'd just been punched in the gut and everything I'd been holding back flooded through me.

“Ezra” my mother's whisper made me put my mask back in place, which only seemed to deepen the lines of worry on her flawless face.

“I'm fine mom, I don't want or need anyone, I'm fine” I kissed her forehead and proceeded to my room, leaving her where she stood.

“There’s so much for you out there Ezra, I just wish you could see it, experience it” my mother's whisper echoed in my head, making me turn to see her looking at me with sad eyes; her head tilted to the side.

I couldn't bring myself to respond, I knew she didn't want to hear what I actually wanted to say.

“Maybe one day, I will” I linked back and continued on my way.

She meant well, I knew that; but I also wished she understood that my world ended with her.

I shut the door behind me and got my bag, making sure it had everything I always needed on a mission.

I kept my eyes focused on the bathroom door so I didn't have to see her smile on the large painting she'd gifted me to look at every morning when I woke.

Standing in front of my mirror, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying harder than ever to push away the memory of that perfect dimpled smile, her elegance and radiance haunted and ate at my existence.

How did I get it so wrong? Why didn't I stop her?! I should have done something! Anything!

Why wasn't I strong enough to protect her? Or wise enough to not let us fall into such a stupid trap?!

“Waiting on you Alpha” came Matt's voice, putting a stop to my thoughts, bringing me back to the present.

“I'll be right down” I said and closed the link, needing a minute to breathe and gather myself.

Splashing water on my face, I wiped down with a towel and sighed, this was no time to break, it was time to go hunting!