Fallen Woman

Chapter 9

I leaned into his shoulder playfully. "Thanks for having me. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and your friends are awesome."

"Yeah, they're good guys. Although I think they're a little jealous," he commented as he got in the driver's seat and I took my seat opposite him.

With the doors closed, I continued the conversation. "Of what?"

"You." He put the car in gear and kept his eyes on the road. I couldn't tell if there was irritation or humor behind the solitary word he spoke.

"Me? Why?"

"Women like you don't come along often, Gianna. Surely you know that." Irritation. But I didn't know why.

I scoffed, which probably further rubbed him the wrong way. "Yeah, nothing like w*********h from the wrong side of the tracks to be envious of."

With no warning, he whipped the car across three lanes of traffic and came to a sudden stop on the side of the highway. I gripped the handle on the door until my knuckles turned white before daring to face him. Anger radiated from every pore in his body.

"Why do you do that?" he growled at me.

"Do what?" The look on his face had me retreating as far as I could get from him, but the door prevented me from moving much.

"Talk about yourself like that."

I turned to stare out the window. He didn't know me or anything about me. He had no right to tell me what to think.

"You're an amazingly strong woman, Gianna. Why don't you see that?" He waited for me to respond, but I didn't even turn to face him. "I don't know anyone who's struggled the way you have and continued to push. Every day. And you never complain. Not one time have I heard you utter anything about what you need, but you were concerned about not being able to do it for someone else. Who you are at the core has nothing to do with the house you grew up in or the parents you were given." He panted the words as they spilled out. "Damn, Gia-look at me!"

I couldn't have stopped the tears regardless of how hard I tried. My face was an utter disaster before I ever met his eyes.

"Stop selling yourself short." His voice softened as he pleaded with me to see myself through his eyes. "Who did this to you?"

I shook my head. He'd never grasp a life he knew nothing about.

"Talk to me, Gia. Help me understand."

I wanted to hide who I was from him, but eventually, he'd find out, and when he did, he'd leave. His departure from my life was inevitable-I'd just hoped to hang on longer than I'd been able to. So sitting on the side of the interstate, I told Jase what he thought he wanted to know.

"I grew up dirt poor. My dad ran off, and my mom was a burnout. By the time I was in high school, I was living in total squalor and was pretty much on my own. Days would go by, and I wouldn't hear from or see my mother. I spent as much time away from the projects as I could manage and was bound and determined to get out. I joined every activity, sport, and social club available, and I pushed myself as hard as I could academically. I applied to colleges in the fall of my senior year and got early acceptance to Dartmouth with a full academic scholarship." The surprise on his face didn't go unnoticed.

"What happened? Did you get pregnant?"

I couldn't help but laugh and roll my eyes. "No. I didn't. I met Ryan LeBron-"

"Wait-the guy that was all over the news a few years ago?"

"That's the one, but the guy I knew wasn't the guy you saw on television. His parents were just as horrid as my own but hid behind wealth. Ryan and I were inseparable through college, and we both graduated with honors."

"Honors from Dartmouth is pretty impressive."

I shrugged. I'd worked hard to earn it, but in the end, it hadn't proven to be worth much. "Anyway, we got married a few months after graduation. He'd landed a great job on Wall Street, and I was doing the whole Madison Avenue gig. We loved life, and New York was good to us."

"I never would've guessed you were from New York."

"You're missing the point, Jase." Once I was sure he was focused, I started my story again. I'd only say this once, and he needed to listen. "We were making a ton of money, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. We bought a house when we found out I was pregnant with the twins, and two weeks after we moved in, the stock market crashed. Ryan lost his job almost immediately. I held onto mine until I had the babies, but before I came back from maternity leave, my company had closed down as well."

"Holy s**t. What the hell did you guys do?"

"That's just it. Ryan told me he had things covered. He wanted me home with the twins, and he'd found a gig paying more than he was making on Wall Street. I should've asked more questions. I look back at it now and wonder how I could've been so blind, but when you have two colicky newborns and you never sleep, it's easy for life to pass you by."

"Wasn't he tied up with the mob somehow?" The look on his face was a cross between disgust and understanding.

"More or less. He was laundering money for some pretty big families. I want to condemn him-what he did was wrong-but there were no jobs available, and he had a wife and kids. He was desperate and did something desperate to provide for us-something I sympathize with now but didn't understand then. If he'd kept his mouth shut and done his time, his boss was taking care of us. We had family surrounding us all the time-making sure we had what we needed and our bills were paid. The other wives helped with the twins, and when I found out I was pregnant with Emmy right before he was sentenced, they all covered me in attention. But Ryan couldn't bear the thought of someone else taking care of his children or me. Foolishly, he tried to cut a deal."

"With the police?" His surprise was tangible. "Is he an i***t?"

"Apparently, he was. I had no idea any of this was happening on the inside. He just told me he was taking care of things. That was the last time I ever spoke to him. That phone call to reassure me was the last time I ever heard his voice. You can't rat out the mob-they kill informants." I didn't need to go into the gory details of Ryan's murder-it had been all over the news for weeks.

"How did you survive?"

"Not really sure other than I had no idea any of it was going on. The families hovered for a long time, months after Ryan's murder, but after Emmy was born, the big boss and his wife came to me and asked me if they could help me relocate. It was their way of nicely telling me I needed to move on. So that brought me to southern Georgia with three kids and no family. I ran out of money quickly and had no resources. You know the rest."

"So you've been trying to piece your life back together since then?"

"More or less. I just haven't been able to find a job until I started at Faston. We won't even talk about what I had to do in order to get there." I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering why I'd felt the need to share my life with Jase Lane and why I'd left out the most critical detail in my admission.

"Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you out."

"Because that's not who I am. I have a hard enough time taking handouts from Miss Pearl but figure I'll find a way to pay her back someday. Until then, I just make sure she knows how grateful we are."

"She's the one you were upset about not being able to do anything for?"

I nodded slowly. "By the time we met her, I was down to saltines and applesauce for the kids. She fed my babies when I couldn't." That admission choked me up.

"Gia, let me get you moved to another department where you'll make more money. It's not like it would be hard for me to do."

"Uh-uh. Nope. I'm going to earn my spot there, and it's not going to be because I'm friends with Jase Lane. No way. I'll never have any respect if I take that option."

"Which is more important-respect or feeding your children?"

It was like a sucker punch to the gut. He was trying to get me to relent and concede, but it hurt just the same, and he only knew half the truth. "My kids are fed and taken care of. We're doing okay now."

He stared at me for an agonizing amount of time before he put the car in gear and drove me home. I sensed he had something brewing in his mind, but whatever it was, he didn't share. Instead, he dropped me off at my front door like a gentleman and kissed me on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Gianna."

"Night, Jase."