Steps on how to lose your V-card- On a certain night after you’ve been cheated on by your now ex, go to the club and land into the arms of a weirdo wearing a piggy mask. When he’s done being a total ass, let the bouncer take you to the owner. Also let the owner take you to his apartment where y’all dry hump in the kitchen. Then punch him and run away- unsuccessfully trying to lose your V-card. After that, fake date him so that your dad doesn’t skin you alive. Fall irrevocably in love with that man then go through heaven and hell and almost die fighting your way to his side. That way, he’ll marry you and lead you into a super secret destination where he- you know, pops the cherry. It’ll be the best moment of your life. You won’t regret it.
I only realize I’ve fallen asleep when Soren is cu
