The Alpha's Favorite

Chapter 5

I cannot believe I am about to do this. I cannot believe I’m even attempting this.

For one, I am injured.

Second and third, I am weak and in debt.

I have nothing to offer a werewolf, but I can only hope that there’s a werewolf out there desperate enough like I am to be with me.

Werewolves do not want to bind with the weak.

That is the one thing I am sure of.

That is one thing everyone knows.

Werewolves are powerful beings, and they demand the strongest, the bravest and the smartest of us. It is said that the better you are, the better the werewolf that chooses you.

I do not know much about the specifics, but from the little that I do know, werewolves only choose the best and what werewolf chooses you usually matches your strength.

Which means if I do survive and manage to get a werewolf— I’ll be lucky if even a werewolf child chooses me.

Normally, humans train their body, mind and soul for years and years before even attempting to bind with a werewolf. They say one has to be as strong as a Navy SEAL to even attempt to find the werewolf's lair— a deadly hike up into the mountains which has caused just as many deaths as the werewolves.

There are even schools providing semesters worth of training and learning and preparing to know what to expect, because binding with a werewolf is dangerous and if not done properly, it will lead to death.

Werewolves are not humans. They are animals. They are wild and unpredictable, and they thirst for power.

If, by some chance, the human survives the journey to them, the human must test fate by presenting themselves to the werewolves and pray that one chooses them lest they become food.

The majority of those that try, become food.

And the ones that know they will never be worthy, pay those that can be.

It has made werewolves a commodity.

I did not attend the special school to prepare for werewolf binding and I did not do much research on it either. Online research isn’t very reliable, and I do not have friends that have werewolves to ask.

Until today, I’ve never been interested and thus do not know much. There are rumors though, things I’ve heard in passing. Things like when bound, the werewolf and their human share one mind, feel each other’s emotions and aches, and all those things that I doubt are true.

There is not much detail about the history behind werewolves. At least not the information a less than average human being knows, but I am aware of the basics.

Dubbed as the Moon Goddess’ favorites, they were once blessed with shape shifting abilities, given unimaginable strength and speed and intelligence surpassing everything else. They live for upwards of a hundred years or more and, after waging war after war that almost broke the world, they were punished and forced to be animals for the rest of their lives… unless they bind themselves to humans, essentially making them serve lesser beings.

In the beginning, a lot of the werewolves decided to end their lives. As a proud race, they could not live with themselves if it meant serving the weaker race, while others simply embraced their animal side, accepting that they would never be human again. They still hunt humans even to this day, stalking them through the woods and pulling humans deep into their lairs.

Originally known for being a race controlled by their emotions, this punishment, this curse, only made it worse for them. Bonded werewolves are one of the world’s biggest criminals. They have often killed their humans, killed other humans and in some cases went totally mad and killed everything in sight.

They’re erratic and volatile.

And I’ve tried my hardest to avoid them as much as possible… but it seems that ends today.

Because the moment we got to my home, I threw myself out of the car before it even stopped. “I’m sorry, Henry, but I got to go. Thank you for the ride.”

“Wait, Lily,” He reached for me, but I was already running towards the back of the bakery.

“Thank you!” I shouted without looking back at him, but my feet stopped right before I made it to the door and whirled around.

Henry was already out of the car and following me.

This is probably the last time I was going to see him, and he has always been a good friend to me.

Even when I wasn’t.

He deserved so much better.

When I smiled at him, it wasn’t forced… a first in a very long time. The action felt foreign to me. “I’m sorry for not being around these past ten years. I know you tried to keep the friendship. I was just selfish. I wanted it all. I’m also sorry for missing your calls and for not being better for you.”

His lips parted completely, not expecting my words. “Lily,”

I wasn’t normally an open person, at least not with my emotions and not with so many words, but I guess for the first person that supported me outside my family, I could be.

For him.

“I’m really proud of you,” I told him just because I didn’t think I had ever told him that yet. I glanced towards the rusted stairs behind me. “Ten years ago, we used to sit there, staring up at the sky and wondering what life would be like. We would be sharing our dreams and simply fantasying about the future. Thank you for those days. And thank you for everything after that. You’ve made it. You only used to talk about tours and all that, and now you have it. I’m just really happy for you. I mean that.”

“I know you do.” He swallowed, his voice thick. “I only ever attempted it because of you, your encouragement and how much you pushed me towards my own dreams… I didn’t think it was possible, but you did.”

“I always knew you could do it.” If there was one thing I had no doubt about, it was that he would succeed. “So go back, Henry. Do what you’re supposed to do.”

He hesitated, his lips parting and opening. “But Lily, this is what I’m supposed to be doing…”

I watched him look at the rusted stairs and the pieces fall into place. “Henry, you have the chance to do what I failed in. If you lose that because of me, because you choose to stay here when all we’ve wanted to do is leave, I will never forgive you.”

He blinks and blinks again, and I realize as I stare into his eyes that he was about to cry.

Or maybe… it’s just the light.

“You were always meant for more,” I whispered, gently but firmly. “You are a prodigy. Remember? That's what they call you. Not everyone has that opportunity. Please take it.”

“Will you come with me then?” Henry asked, sounding breathless. “I… I can bring you and your family too.”

My heart flutters.

He was offering an escape without knowing how much I needed it.

“I have money now. And connections too.” He takes my hand and enthusiastically nods. “We can go abroad. Together. I know it might not be your dream, but it would make me the happiest if you could be there. My parents love your parents. It’ll be like old times.”

Everything in me wanted to say yes at that moment, to jump and embrace and feel that sense of security that I lost.

But two things stopped me.

My pride.

How could I let someone take care of my family and I? To essentially leech on someone else’s dream and resources. That just isn’t fair to Henry.

And finally, Silas.

Silas was clear. He knew everything and he was powerful enough to ruin anyone. Including Henry.

And if Henry loses it all because of me? I can’t do it.

I can barely live with myself now, but if that happens..? I don’t know what I’ll do.

I could not drag anyone else into this.

So my answer came easily. “No. I’m sorry, but no.”

Henry’s jaw clenched and his eyes flashed with emotions I could not decipher. “There’s no catch. I’m not expecting anything from you at all with this. I just want my best friend with me. You’re the only one I want there and I thought that with everything that’s happened—“

“No.” I repeated, removing my hands from him and taking a step back. “No, Henry.”

He practically deflated. “You would rather work in a nightclub?”

“I am never working there again,” I told him, not giving the real reason why. “Don’t worry about me or my family. I got this.”

Do I?

There was no choice. I had to.

I take another step back. “I need to go.“

He tries to take a step forward but stops when I shake my head. “Lily… please.”

“And you need to go too.” I say with finality, realizing how this moment suddenly made me remember our farewells ten years ago. “Goodbye, Henry.”

Except maybe this time, it’s permanent. At least it could be if I fail.

But I didn’t tell him that.

Because he’s going to do great things, and he doesn’t need me pulling him down from that.

I wave, just for old times sake and because it mirrored our goodbye ten years ago. Then, I took five steps at a time, going up the rusted staircase, which is really just a fire exit, and closed the door behind me. Just before the doors closed, I saw Henry looking up— exactly how he looked ten years ago.

He was twelve again in my eyes. Hopeful. Scared. And about to make his dreams a reality.

Without allowing myself to dwell too much, I sucked in a deep breath, smelling butter and bread... the scent of home, and quietly made my way to my room where I began packing.

My room… it frankly looked like a mausoleum, except I am alive, but my dreams aren’t.

All over there are dead bouquets, a pile of pointe shoes by the windowsills, bejeweled headpieces on every shelf, discarded and forgotten bobby pins in every crevice, colorful tutus hung on the walls and the smell of a dream lost, of phantom wails and salty tears in the air.

I haven’t exactly let go.

Even though it’s already been two years.

Through a tight breath, I picked up my gym bag in the corner of the room and stuffed it with anything I could think of. I’ve never actually hiked in the mountains before— most especially a mountain that had the highest death rate in the world, so I didn’t know what to bring. I figured leggings, a shirt and a thick jacket wouldn’t hurt. To finish off, I shoved my feet into some thick socks and an old pair of sneakers before heading for the kitchen to find some food.

I grabbed a loaf of bread that we hadn’t sold the day before and a handful of granola bars I religiously used to eat for ballet. Grabbing a big jug, I fill it up with water and put it in the gym bag as well.

Scanning our old home, there was suddenly a tightness in my chest that made me lean against the wall.

My heart was in my throat and, for the first time since I thought of this plan, I felt scared. I was scared of what was to come. I was scared of the deadly hike and the werewolves that would be waiting after if I survived.

I was potentially walking to my death.

Was this the last time I would see this house? And if I don’t come back… would my parents be alright? Would Silas leave them alone?

But I guess at the end of the day, nothing was scarier than Silas threatening our lives.

Werewolves are monsters. There is no debating that, but Silas? He was worse. He had no curse. He had no reason to do what he was doing.

He just wanted to.

And he wasn't going to stop.

Life hasn’t exactly turned out the way I expected. Disappointments, failures, the unending feeling of losing left and right… despite all that, I haven’t completely fallen yet. So if I die, then that’s just what is meant to happen.

All I can do now is try and hope for the best.

Writing a quick note to my mother that I was off to find more work and leaving it on the counter table, I slung my gym bag over my body and, with a final nod of encouragement to myself… to my reflection in the mirror— a battered, teary eyed woman stared back at me. I looked utterly destroyed, my hair in a tight bun, my face stained with tears, my body shaking slightly, but there was hope in my eyes.

That’s all I needed.

Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I quickly searched the directions for the mountain and felt incredibly stupid because I doubt any other human eager to bind with a werewolf has ever needed to search for directions like this.

They came prepared.

I wasn’t.

With a shrug, I decided to just wing it. I knew where the mountain was— everyone did to avoid it and the dangers that come with being close to such a place, but I just didn’t know if there was a specific entrance.

I’ll just have to find out when I get there.

Gritting my teeth, I take my bag and walk out of the house, making sure to lock it behind me. I blew out a few calming breaths while flexing my toes and ankles, a routine I used to do before every performance when I needed to relax and head off into the darkness of the woods. I looked back suddenly, feeling as though I was being watched, and it might just be my imagination, but I thought I glimpsed movement from Henry's room window that was across from mine. A shadow. A curtain.

And it makes me run.

It makes me run until I’m breathless and surrounded by darkness.

The mountain where the werewolves reside is the largest and tallest mountain there is, and it is not hard to find it.

Honestly, even from this far away, I could feel the distinct feeling of something dangerous pushing me back, making me turn the other way. It made the hairs on my arms and neck stand up, it made my bones and limbs tighter, but I pushed on, as I always do, because nothing is going to stop me now.

Nothing.

I was either going to die or I was going to return with a werewolf.

There is no in between.